


Iron and Lace

by CreamPuffBunny



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-23
Updated: 2014-02-08
Packaged: 2017-12-06 06:37:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 49,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/732543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreamPuffBunny/pseuds/CreamPuffBunny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(COMPLETE!) Young Lord Matthew lived a peaceful life with his brother Alfred and their father. One day their home is ambushed by a rival group whose leader, Warlord Ivan, conquers the entire castle and lands. With their father dead and Alfred tortured in prison, Matthew is all that’s left of their clan and family. To ensure a steady hold on the castle, Ivan takes Matthew as his bride/groom. With their personalities being bipolar in every way, can Matthew tame the dark warlord and regain his family’s honor? Or will the dark and depressing state of his new life force the pure male to take violent action?</p><p>(A touch of the whole ‘Beauty and the Beast’ short of fairytale, but not in the least bit happy)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ***This will be a short fic, with only a few chapters. No more than four or five. It was a great idea that came to me while waiting to fall asleep one night, and I was up planning it after that. I’m still experiencing with other pairings. Visit my Fanfiction.net account for completed Hetalia stories! (Author: CreamPuffBunny)
> 
> ***Warning: Violence, minor yaoi
> 
> ***Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I am making no money off of this fic.

Chapter 1

Matthew Williams walked along the road of ‘Rabbit Run’ from the main city back home to his castle at Ram Hill Hall. Winter had long since ended and spring was nearly at its end. He and his personal groom, Feliciano, stopped to pick up some wildflowers to feed to the newborn lambs back at the castle. The guards accompanying them stood back and watched, keeping on the lookout for trouble. The kingdom was currently at war, but it had not reached the regions of Ram Valley. They had already sent out their soldiers to fight, leaving some to help defend the castle should an attack be launched.

Matthew was the youngest son of their father, the current lord of Ram Hill. His older brother, Alfred, was next in line to the family lands and home. Alfred was a knight, yet remained at home to defend the family name. It never bothered Matthew that his brother would be entitled to more than him because he had his own title, which he had earned for himself. He was coming back from some charity work in the city, mainly visiting the orphanage and helping to hand out bread to the poor. The people all loved him, and Matthew gave it back to them as much as he could. How he wished he could help them all; people as well as animals. Another trait he was known for was his fondness for animals, especially horses and rabbits. Whenever the farm animals were ready to have their young, Matthew would always be there to assist them and greet the newborns. 

Since he was never expected to become a Lord or soldier, Matthew was allowed to branch out with his interests and hobbies, unlike Alfred. Ever since he was little, Matthew had always been sickly and weak. His parents kept him inside the castle most of his young life, allowing him only as far as the farm grounds so he would not be susceptible to disease. He would easily get tired and fall asleep for many hours, which would happen daily. There was a certain drink the apothecary had given him, one that he still drinks to this day and every day. It was also how he grew to love maple syrup, a fine condiment that was his family’s main source of income and trade. The mixed drink was sweetened ewe’s milk, honey, and maple syrup. The sweetness would help to give him energy, and in turn he grew more productive. Matthew prided himself in how well he could make maple syrup of different textures and flavors. His always won at the kingdom fairs and the syrups were given to other nobles or lords as gifts. These were the only times when Matthew was noticed by his family. While he was loved dearly, his big brother and father often forgot about him, especially after their mother had died. Their father was always proud of him, but never showed it in private, only during public occasions. 

But Matthew continued to remain gentle, friendly, and helpful to everyone around him. He loved both his father and big brother no matter what they did.

Yet all this happiness was about to melt away when the enemy attacked Ram Hill Hall late in the night.

///

“Don’t be scared Feli!” Matthew tried to calm the trembling man by hugging him close even though he too was frightened. 

“I don’t want to die, Mattie! I don’t want us to die!”

“We’ll be alright! My brother and father are fighting them off! Our defenses are very big! We’ll be safe here!”

Matthew didn’t believe his own words but Feliciano was his best friend and loyal servant, so he tried to be strong for him. The two huddled in the far end of his chambers as the sounds of battle raged on beneath them. Matthew had locked his door yet feared it would not hold to a swarm of angry soldiers coming to kill him. The screams were constant, as well as the ringing of weapons meeting and items falling. From outside the window, Matthew could see a glowing orange hue that was a sure sign of fire. The enemy had stormed their walls and set fire to everything within it. The stone would hold, but the farm animals and servants houses would be completely destroyed. Feliciano trembled in his arms and Matthew gave him a kiss atop the head, knowing it gave little comfort but it was the best he could do. His own body was trembling with fear; for his brother, father, people, friends, and himself. He didn’t know what would become of him, or what the enemy would do to their family. Matthew had heard tales of a vicious warlord who slew and tortured his victims without mercy. Imaging what would happen to him almost had Matthew seeing black with faint. Both men shrieked and jumped when a heavy banging came at the door.

“MATTHEW!” It was Alfred’s voice! “MATTHEW! OPEN UP! HURRY!”

Matthew left Feliciano and rushed to unlock the door, allowing his brother entry. He swiftly closed and locked it again behind him, then turned to look at his war-torn brother. “Alfred! Oh no, you’re hurt!” He could see a bloody wound along Alfred’s side as the man tried to conceal it. The sword Alfred carried was dripping with dark blood and his clothing was splattered with more of it. “Alfred, what is going on? You must sit down! Feliciano! Bring me some of that water!”

“Don’t bother!” Alfred hissed, and collapsed to his knees on the floor, spent and exhausted. 

Matthew gasped and knelt beside him. “Oh Alfie…Alfie.” He had tears welling in his violet eyes. Feliciano brought over the basin of water. “Thank you.”

Alfred just gripped the hilt of his sword and knocked Matthew’s hand away. “The castle is lost, Matthew. Father is dead.” Matthew gasped, covering his mouth with both hands. “Our soldiers are giving up…many have already surrendered with their bellies to the floor. I can’t keep fighting in this state…he’s just…he’s just too damn strong!”

“Who?” Matthew asked.

“That bastard warlord!” Alfred answered through grit teeth, slowly beginning to slump forward with blood loss and exhaustion. “He is coming for us. I have to be here to defend you, Mattie.” Alfred turned to look at him. “You are all that is left to me at Ram Hill.”

“Alfred…!” Matthew hugged him, crying softly.

“I hear him!” Alfred cried out. “Both of you! Get behind me! NOW!”

Matthew held out his hand to Feliciano and both of them knelt behind Alfred, who forced himself to stand on bent trembling legs. He could hear Alfred’s blood pitter on the floor, the only sound accompanying the sudden clanking of armor and chainmail. Matthew and Feliciano held each other close as the eerie sound came closer. Matthew wished he had something to arm himself with, but if Alfred and their army couldn’t beat this man then how could he? Neither he nor Feliciano had any armor on; only their bed linens. The two of them always slept together for protection and companionship, just so was part of Feliciano’s job description. Never had they thought they’d be scared awake by a bloody battle raging within the walls. Alfred hadn’t had the time to put on proper armor or shield himself, which is how he ended up so badly beaten. Matthew, who was always so optimistic, felt every last shred of hope swiftly disappear and replaced with fear.

There was a ‘BANG’ on the door. Both men jumped and clung closer to the other.

Another bang.

Alfred gripped his sword with both hands.

One after the other the noise came; BANG! BANG! BANG! Until the heavy wooden door flung open.

Standing on the other side was a creature from the deepest and darkest parts of the underworld. Matthew’s eyes, widen with terror, could not break their frozen gaze on the monster. The ‘monster’ was a man, but a large beastly one with black armor and a horned helmet. Slowly the demon walked in, his blood splattered face smirking with triumphant pride. Matthew had never seen armor like the one this devil was wearing. All black, covering the chest, shoulders, back, and torso. On the shoulders stood two large spikes that matched the style of the curved horns. On his arms he wore leather bands and his hands sported armored gloves with more spikes on the knuckles. A red cape flowed behind him; ripped, tattered, and dirtied with blood from the battle. In his hand was a bearded axe, its blade also covered in blood. Matthew had to hide his face when the man glanced at him, and that was when Alfred spoke.

“Stand back, Ivan!” He hissed at the armed man. “Your business is with me!”

“True, yet I have already beaten you.” Ivan said with a laugh, twirling the axe in his hand. “Stand down now, Lord Alfred, and I might just spare your life.”

“NO!” Matthew screamed, and then covered his mouth in terror.

Ivan, looking amused, set his gaze and crazed smile upon Matthew. “I think the little lordling disagrees. How sad.” He mock pouted.

“GET AWAY FROM HIM!” Alfred screamed, swinging his blade in Ivan’s direction. 

“Stupid boy. You think you still stand a chance against me with that wound and no armor? Look at you! You can barely stand!” He chuckled. “Even your elderly father put up a better fight than this.”

Alfred growled. “Do not speak of him, you MURDERER!” He lunged at Ivan, sword raised, and bellowed a loud war cry. His sword was blocked by the axe, and the rest following after. The blood loss from his wound slowed him down, and he felt his vision start to blur and his head become foggy. The grinning smile of Ivan’s smug face infuriated him, and Alfred knew he must do whatever he could to protect his little brother. But his weakened state alone was not enough. Ivan delivered a mighty blow to his gut, using only his booted foot. Alfred scream as the bottom of the boot collided with his wound, sending a torrent of mind-numbing pain. Like a rock he fell to the floor, his body lying flat on the textured carpet. ‘Matthew…I’m sorry. I’m sorry I failed you…’ He barely had the strength to speak. 

Another blow to the face with Ivan’s boot knocked him out cold.

“ALFRED-!” Matthew cried out and dashed to the fallen form of his brother, shielding the rest of Alfred body with his own. He cried into his brother’s hair, holding him tight to his chest. Matthew feared his was dead, yet could feel the soft breathing from the bloodied form. ‘He’s still alive!’ “ALFRED!”

“You cry your brother’s name so beautifully, little lordling.” Ivan loomed above them.

Matthew looked up at him with tear-stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes. “Please! Please, don’t hurt him anymore! I beg of you!”

Ivan tilted his head. “You speak softly for a young man, especially when one has a dying brother in his arms.”

“Please…please don’t hurt him. He is my big brother! I love him!”

“I’m sure you do.” Ivan crouched down, his leather and armor tightening loudly. “Look at me.” His tone was firm, yet held a touch of gentleness. 

Trembling, Matthew lifted his eyes and gazed at the black beast before him. 

“So adorable.” Ivan smiled. “Looking at me with terror-stricken eyes and small body trembling with fear, just like a scared little lamb.” He reached his hand out and stroked Matthew’s cheek with two fingers, leaving twin trails of blood over the pale skin. “Little Lamb, will you bleat for me like that?” Before he could receive an answer, five of his men swarmed into the room.

“Lord Ivan! We have taken the castle!” said one, “Ram Hill Hall is now ours! POWER TO THE DAYRIS CLAN!” 

Ivan smirked and stood back up, turning to face his men. “All of you have fought well, and you shall be rewarded for your bravery and triumph. Take whatever valuables you can find. Help yourselves to the women; make them and the children our slaves. Kill the men if you must. We will fill this rich land and castle with the blood, power, and strength of the Dayris Clan!” The men cheered. “But first, take Lord Alfred to the dungeons. See to it that he doesn’t die just yet.” He smirked. “I have plans for him.”

“Yes, my lord! And these other two?” Feliciano was trembling against the wall and Matthew was sobbing with tears.

“Take the servant and do what you want with him. However, I don’t want him killed.” Ivan turned back to Matthew’s trembling form. “He is probably the only friend my Little Lamb will have here in my new castle.”

Two men went to Feliciano, who screamed, kicked, and struggled as he was forced out of the room. Matthew screamed his name and reached his arm out towards his friend, knowing it was futile. Feliciano attempted to reach Matthew as well, begging and pleading with the young master not to let him be hurt. Matthew sobbed into his brother’s back once Feliciano was completely pulled away, his cries still able to be heard down the hall. The other two guards grabbed one of Alfred’s arms each and dragged him away. Matthew tried to reach for him but Ivan stood in his way, and he was too frightened to move any further. Now that they were alone in the room, Matthew felt completely vulnerable and powerless. His brother was gone. His father was gone. The castle was taken over by the enemy. What else could he do?

“Little Lamb, you ARE a young noble, are you not?” Matthew just nodded. “Then show me, how does a young defeated lord greet their sovereign?”

Matthew understood what Ivan meant, and he had no choice but to obey. Slowly, he settled onto his knees, folded his hands behind his back, and hung his head forward to expose his neck. He stared at the rug beneath him; focused only on the spot on the floor fresh with Alfred’s blood. Right now, Ivan had full power and control over his life. Matthew knew that the warlord could kill him, torture him, or throw him into the dungeons with Alfred. Realizing his complete helplessness, Matthew finally closed his eyes and awaited the final judgment.

Nothing came. Only a long period of silence, and then, “Stand up.” He did so, still keeping his head bowed while his body trembled like a leaf in a windstorm. “You may raise your head, Little Lamb.” Matthew did so, but glanced away. “Look at me.” The demand was soft, but coming from Ivan it may have well been spoken by a demon. And so, Matthew lifted his terrified gaze to Ivan’s face. Ivan smirked. “Strip.”

“W-what?” Matthew’s eyes widened and he took a step back. 

“I don’t like having to repeat myself.” He gave a friendly smile. “I know you heard me.”

Matthew was blushing, gripping his clothes tightly to his chest and shied away. “N-No! I can’t! I just can’t! Please, don’t make me!” 

“I am the new Lord and Master here at Ram Hill, Little Lamb. You must obey me, or face a punishment. Bad little children must be punished, yes?” He chuckled. “Would you feel more comfortable if I did it for you?”

Matthew gasped. “NO!” 

Ivan rolled his eyes, dropped his axe to the floor, and then his helmet. He left everything else on. “I just want to see everything that I am gaining with this victorious raid. Don’t forget, I still have your darling big brother imprisoned. How do you think he would feel knowing that more of his punishment came from the defiance of his little brother?”

“You…you can’t…!” Matthew was crying again, thinking about his poor brother who must be suffering now in the dungeons. He couldn’t add more pain and punishment to Alfred’s life. Maybe he couldn’t defend the castle like a soldier, but he would do anything to keep his family and friends safe. With trembling hands, Matthew tried to silence his whimpers as he first removed his night shirt. Let it drop to the floor, right on the blood stain. He looked at Ivan, still weeping.

“All of it.” He smirked. “I already like what I see. A fresh spring lamb, one that has yet to grow its wool or its horns.” Ivan began to circle around the small form as the pants were dropped to pool around delicate feet. The man was clearly not a soldier or a fighter. His bone and skin structure were so delicate that Ivan pictured snapping the young man in half over his knee like a twig. “Remain like that. I want to look at you.” He returned to the front, lifted Matthew’s chin with his finger, and looked into the panic stricken face. ‘I’ve heard of you, Matthew Williams. They say the people of Ram Valley love you more than they do their lord and future heir. ‘A gentle spirit’, they call you. Such sweet innocence. This is the face of a human who has never seen the cruelties of war or witnessed a tragic event. Completely sheltered. Unsullied. Untouched. Unscathed.’ He smirked, and squeezed Matthew’s jaw. ‘The people of Ram Valley must learn to love me if I am to hold this vast land. What better way than to wed the most beloved and respected young lord? They’ll have to follow me, and my precious little spring lamb will help to see to that.’

Matthew clenched his eyes shut, trying not to whimper at the crushing pressure on his jaw.

“Get on the bed, and lay on your belly.”

‘No! No, no, no, no!’ Matthew’s mind screamed at him but he paid it no mind and let his trembling feet carry him to the bed. Just as commanded, he lay down on the top sheet, his legs tightly pressed together while his hands fisted in the pillow. He could hear Ivan walking over to him; hear that leather and armor making eerie music together. The bed shifted with an added weight and Matthew’s heart beat rapidly in his chest. He could hear the thumping in his ears and fell it all the way down to his toes. ‘He’s going to rape me! Heaven help me! He’s going to rape me!’ Ivan had crawled over him, slipping that armored hand and arm under his lower belly to lift him up to his knees. Matthew clenched his eye shut as his hips and rear were elevated in the air. The cold armor made his skin tingly painfully, and the heat in his cheeks ignited into a burning red. ‘I endure this for you, Alfie. Please forgive me for not being able to do more…to make you proud of me.’ 

“Little Lamb,” Ivan leaned down to whisper, “has any other man or woman touched this body?” Matthew shook his head. “Are you telling me the truth?” Matthew nodded. “Then it is to remain that way until we are married.”

Matthew’s eyes opened, and slowly, he turned his head to look at Ivan’s massive dark form. “M-Married?”

“Yes. You are going to marry me. You will become one with me; Warlord Ivan of the Dayris Clan and Lord and Master of Ram Hill.” He gave Matthew’s delicate ear a nip. “Continue to remain pure and untouched, and I promise that the wedding night will be pleasant for you. Should you do anything that may displease me in any way, I shall not only punish you but your brother as well. I’m sure your brother will end up killing himself, but why give him the chance? There may be a small chance that I will let him live, maybe even let him out of prison.” He smiled. “Would you like that?”

“Y-Yes, my Lord.” 

“Well, we’ll just have to see then, won’t we?” He removed himself from Matthew. “You are to remain here for the rest of the night. Two guards will be posted outside your door until I come for you. I will send for your little servant to continue to attend to you. Everything that belongs to your family; all tapestries, paintings, clothing, and decorations will be taken away and replaced with that of my own family clan. Look at me!” Matthew did so. Ivan smiled. “You are no longer a Ram, but a Dayris. Best do well to remember that.”

To his own shock and surprise, Matthew answered, “I will always be a Ram.”

Ivan chuckled. “So adorable. And sweet, like a little cake. A cake I can’t wait to taste. Just wait until your brother hears the good news!” Matthew only cried silent tears. “You’ll learn to accept it in time. I can be a very kind and generous Master if properly obeyed.”

“Y-Yes…Master.” 

“That’s a good little lamb. Until tomorrow morning then?”

Matthew hid his face. “Until tomorrow…my Lord.” Ivan turned and left, closing the door behind him. Matthew wouldn’t attempt to run away for he would be caught easily. He couldn’t escape without his brother; and he would NEVER leave Alfred behind. All he could do was stare at the door where Ivan had took his leave. And then, Matthew felt an anger growing hot in his chest. With a sneer, he glared at the door, imagining a hundred deaths that would suit Ivan’s punishment. “I may be small. I may be sickly…but I’ll show you that I have the blood of a mighty ram inside of me!” He spoke the words with his normally soft voice and cursed himself for always sounding like that. “I will bring back Ram Hill Hall to the true Lord and Master!”

///

Ivan journeyed down to the dungeon cell where Alfred was being held captive. He looked in to the dark cell, seeing Alfred’s limp body chained to the wall. The shackles locked around his wrists while the chains were bolted to the wall. The man was seated and slumped up against the dark damp stone with his waist bandaged. The body shivered in the dampness, having only to wear his pants and boots. Ivan smirked at the pathetic sight the once proud knight made and gave the bars a tap with his axe to get Alfred’s attention. He watched as the man slowly came to, moaning and groaning in pain. Blue eyes focused on him, and Ivan saw the fierce stare of anger and vengeance in those sapphire pools. Ivan just smiled at him. “How does it feel to be chained and helpless while being branded a failure?”

“Fuck off.”

“Such language for a young man! What a pathetic sight you have become. What would your people say if they were to see you like this? Bandaged, broken, bleeding, and chained up like a poor farm animal?” he chuckled. “Perhaps I will get a painter in here to capture this image of you. I’m sure the town square would LOVE to see it.”

“They won’t believe it.” Alfred sneered. “They will say it is a lie! My people are loyal and true to me! ME! Lord Alfred! The true heir, Lord, and Master to Ram Hill Hall!”

“Perhaps, but you will know the truth. You will forever know that I was the one who caught you; who defeated you and took away your birthright.” He giggled. “Oh! Which reminds me! This was the main reason I came down here to speak with you! It’s about your baby brother.”

Alfred gasped. “What did you do to Matthew? I swear, Ivan! If you harm him in ANY WAY, I’ll-“

“Harm? What harm could I do to such an innocent little lamb?” He pouted. “I’m not THAT big of a meanie. You see, I’m not going to kill or harm your brother. Instead, I am going to marry him.” He smiled. “What do you think of that? Would you like to be my brother-in-law, Alfred?” He batted his lashes at the prisoner.

“No! You can’t do that to him!” Alfred pulled in his binds, but could not break free. “Take me instead!”

Ivan threw his head back and laughed. “You? Utter nonsense! How silly you are, Alfie! Why have a beaten man as a my bride when I can have someone whom the people love? A nasty brute like me needs a gentle lamb in his life. And your brother is just perfect! I’ll even invite you to the wedding. Or better yet, I’ll let you witness our wedding night.” He chuckled darkly. “Would you like that, Alfred? Seeing your baby brother get fucked by the enemy? By the man who defeated you?” 

“You’re disgusting. I swear, even if I die trying, I will kill you. Mark my words, fucker. I’ll kill you.”

“Ah, but what if your baby brother comes to love me? Will you still try to kill me then?” 

“Matthew will NEVER love a monster like you! Never!”

“We’ll just have to see about that. I know much of your brother. I know how kind, caring, and loving he can be. We’ll just wait and see.” He smirked and turned away. “Enjoy your stay in MY castle.”

///

Matthew never got to sleep that night. Instead, he lay on the bed, trembling as he had put on layers after layers of clothes when Ivan had left. Being so naked made him feel vulnerable, and at this dire time, he needed to have his wits about him. He remained under the covers, pulling them up to his nose as he watched the sunrise from the window. What was going to happen now? Everything in his life was going to change, and not for the better, he feared. He let out a scream when there was a knock at the door. He sat up and trembled under the sheets, holding them close to his face. 

“Lord Matthew!” called someone, who must be one of the guards posted outside his room. “Your servant has come!”

“Send him in!” Matthew saw the door open and in stepped Feliciano, still in his bed clothes with an old blanket around his shoulders. The normal, cheerful smile that Matthew loved on his friend’s face was a stunned frown. Amber eyes looked at him, full of fear. The young man looked to be in shock and ready to break at any moment. Matthew got out of bed and hurried over to him, bringing the battered groom into his arms where he could feel the form trembling against him. There was no doubt in his mind that those guards indeed did whatever they wanted to Feliciano. His friend would never be the same after this. “I’m here now. Let’s get you…cleaned up and dressed. Then you can rest.” He wasn’t sure what else to say. Asking ‘are you alright’ seemed ridiculous for it was clear Feliciano was hurt. “If you want to talk about what happened then I will listen and help in whatever way I can. If not, then that’s okay too.”

Matthew helped to clean his friend with what little water they had left in the basin. Feliciano chose to remain silent, something that was extremely unusual for the normally talkative man but completely understood. There were signs of forced entry from dried blood to bruises, all lining Feliciano’s inner thighs. Matthew feared he would end up like this as well after Ivan would have him on their ‘wedding’ night. He shuddered at the thought, but couldn’t focus on that now. What was important at the moment was helping his friend get better. Once the bathing was done Matthew allowed his groom one of his own sleeping outfits, which he accepted. The moment Matthew put him to bed; Feliciano passed out on the pillows and burrowed under the sheets.

“Rest now, my friend.”

He let his friend have the bed while he went to the window and peered outside, curious as to see what had become of his home. Pulling the robe around him, Matthew unlocked the window and pushed it open. The morning was warm, yet the air smelled heavily of smoke. He looked towards the barn and stables yet found them to be untouched. Only the servants’ houses were burned and destroyed. Matthew knew why the animals were spared and not the people. People cost money; animals and their goods made money. People rebel and animals don’t. He wiped his sleeve across his eyes to dry some of his tears. They came again when he saw a man hauling a cart with dead bodies while another two pushed it from behind. These men were collecting the dead, and among them women and children. He covered his mouth to muffle his choked sobs. This was horrible! How was he supposed to live here now with so much evil and cruelty going on around him? Was ANYONE still alive in this castle or did Ivan kill them all? 

‘I have to do something. If there are any Ram Hall residents still alive they will be looking to me for support.’ He rests his hands on the window sill. “I have to protect them from Ivan’s wrath.” Another knock came at the door. He closed the window and swallowed hard. “Y-Yes?” He answered back softly. 

“Young Master, our Lord summons you to breakfast with him. Dress yourself properly and I will escort you there,” a different voice came from behind the door.

“Y-yes. One moment.”

Matthew couldn’t bear to wake up Feliciano to help him dress, so he did it himself. He couldn’t deny Ivan’s summon, as much as he wanted to. It would be dangerous for himself and Alfred should he disobey the ‘new’ master. Matthew knew he would have to please Ivan if anything good were to come of this. So what should he wear? Violet eyes scanned his wardrobe, looking through all his summer tunics. He decided on a lightweight white tunic and brown pants. Matthew wanted to conceal himself as much as possible, so he added a green vest and buttoned it in the front. His belt and boots were a simple brown. The only other objects he had to wear were his flower tiara and Ram family ring. The tiara was thin, having been made of light silver and decorated with tiny roses. It had been his mother’s and before her death she gave it to him as a gift. It was one of his favorite things to wear. The ring was a simple emerald encased in gold, which represented the rolling hills and fields of green. Matthew looked at himself in the polished bronzed and sighed deeply. He stood with his back straight and his chin high. He was still a Ram, no matter what Ivan said or did to him. Matthew knew this in his heart, and it would never change. 

He whispered to Feliciano that he would see him later and went to the door, opening it slowly and peeking around the edge. He saw a tall man with blonde hair and blue eyes. From the looks of him, this man was a soldier or a knight. The sapphire eyes glanced at him, and Matthew ‘eeped’. 

“Good morning, young master,” said the man in a deep, stoic voice. “I am Ludwig, a warrior of Ivan’s clan. I am here to escort you to his Lord.”

Matthew closed the door behind him. “Y-yes. H-hello.” His voice was barely a whisper.

Ludwig gazed at him for a moment, and then offered his arm. “Let’s go.”

Matthew took the strong arm and let Ludwig lead him through his own castle. However, nothing had been cleaned much since the battle. There were still some bodies on the floors with broken glass and other debris. He pushed himself closer to Ludwig in fear, but felt the other push him away gently. 

“Get used to these sights for you will be seeing them often while in the care of Ivan,” Ludwig stated firmly. 

Matthew just nodded, biting his trembling lip to keep from crying. Ludwig brought him to the feasting hall where Ivan sat at the head of the table. The man was in his father’s chair, eating from their pewter plates and drinking from their cups. His blood chilled when Ivan looked up at them and he smiled.

“There’s my Little Lamb. You look very nice this morning. Thank you, Ludwig. You may leave us.” Ludwig closed the door behind him. “Sit. Eat.” 

Matthew gave a little bow and did as he was told. But when he sat down, he noticed the food on his plate was a piece of meat, along with some eggs and a piece of bread. Matthew paled and pushed his plate away.

Ivan raised a brow. “Are you not hungry?”

“I-It’s not that, my lord,” Matthew said softly. “I…I don’t…I don’t like to eat meat. I never do.”

“Why not?”

Matthew shied away in his chair. “I love the animals too much to eat them.”

Ivan put another piece of the meat in his mouth. “Then what do you eat?”

“Eggs. Cheese. Bread. Vegetables. Fruits. Milk.”

“No wonder you’re a skinny little thing. A pity.” Ivan continued to eat. “Animals eat each other all the time. We are allowed to eat them as well.” He glanced at Matthew. “So you LIKE animals?” The smaller man nodded. “I can make you eat the meat, you know.” He heard the gasp from Matthew’s throat. “But like I said before, I can be a very kind lord.” He smirked and snapped his fingers for a servant. 

Matthew recognized the servant as one of the kitchen hands and he smiled. At least one of them were still alive. But the servant came over to Matthew with a cup and bowed. “Lord Matthew, your herbal drink.”

“Thank you.” Matthew took the cup.

“The servants in the kitchen were determined to make this drink for you,” said Ivan. “What is it? And why do you need it?”

Matthew looked down at the tanned liquid. “I…I get very tired easily…even when I’m just reading. This drink is made of ewe’s milk, honey, and maple syrup to give me energy.”

“I see.” Ivan took a drink. “No wonder everyone is so protective of you. If you were a horse they would have put you down a long time ago.” The smaller man sipped his drink. “As soon as I settle things some of my people will be coming to serve here. I will have new clothes made for you, ones fitting for a noble lord of the Dayris Clan. I have brought much of my things here already, and they are being moved in to MY chambers as we eat.” He smiled at Matthew. “I knew I could take this place over easily, so I brought my stuff to move right on in. Isn’t that divine?” 

Matthew looked at him sadly. “W-Why can’t we…keep our own things?”

Ivan chuckled. “I will allow you to keep some, but this is now MY castle. I can do what I want with it. Remember, you are no longer a Ram, but a Dayris.” He saw the look of fear wash over Matthew’s face. “Try not to look so sad, Little Lamb. You are going to be beside the most powerful and feared Warlord of all the kingdoms. You will have everything that you could desire. Surely that must please you?”

What would happen if he said ‘no’? The bodies in the halls flashed before his eyes and he trembled. He was still frightened to say ‘no’. Ivan was a powerful, stubborn, and cruel man who wanted everything his way. For now, Matthew would give him what he wanted. “I…I am a simple man, my lord. I do not require much to be happy. I will only ask for modest things and accept anything you wish to give me.”

Ivan stared at him in silence, and then spoke. “Very well. I guess I can see that, judging by your plain clothes and absent jewelry.”

Matthew took a heavy gulp of his drink. “I don’t care to wear jewelry, but if it will please my lord then I will.”

The man stood up from his chair and made his way over to Matthew. The smaller man looked at Ivan’s unarmored body, finding it to be just as solid and large. Ivan was a big man and under those black clothes looked fat, yet Matthew knew that was not the case. But it didn’t help the man to look any less terrifying. Matthew’s stomach dropped when Ivan was suddenly stood next to his chair. One large hand was placed atop the chair while the other lay flat on the table. Ivan lowered his face so it was closer and smiled strangely.

“What a curious oddity you are, Little Lamb. It makes me want you even more.” Matthew blushed and started to tremble. “It’s good that you fear me. That is what will save your life.” He reached his hand over to the plate and picked up a piece of bread, holding it to Matthew’s lips. “Eat.”

Hesitantly, Matthew opened his mouth and took the bread from Ivan’s fingers. Those same fingers, which were wrapped around a weapon that killed hundreds of people in his castle, including his father. Ivan finally moved away and Matthew was relieved. 

“I must leave you to attend to some heavy work. The castle is completely under my control and swarming with my army. Feel free to wander around and continue your daily activities that do not involve leaving the castle grounds.” He smiled. “I will see you shortly, Little Lamb. And I want you to eat. Good day to you.”

///

Matthew took him up on that offer of going around the castle, HIS home, and doing what he wanted. Feliciano was still resting, which was good for the man to help in his healing. The first place he went were the farm grounds, trying to ignore the looks and jeers from Ivan’s men. Matthew was thrilled to see many of the farm hands and gardeners alive, yet they all wore masks of sadness and sorrow. When things calmed down, Matthew promised that he would try to do what he could to comfort them. But right now, he needed comfort himself. All the animals were out in the barnyards, babies playing alongside their mothers. Matthew was still able to smile at the animals, and when stepped into the yard of the sheep, they all came running over to him. He greeted them all with pats on the head and a stroke of their wool. One of the lambs wagged her tail as she gave a tiny bleat. Matthew sat himself on the ground and brought the baby into his lap.

“Hello, little one. Glad to see you are alright. I’m sure last night was scary for you. It was for all of us.” Matthew picked a dandelion and fed it to the lamb. He kissed the top of her head. “At least I still have you.” He closed his eyes and thought of Alfred in the dungeons. Then, he wondered what had become of his father’s body? He was too afraid to ask, and maybe he was better off not knowing. “Oh little lamb, what are we to do?” Matthew gasped, realizing that is the name Ivan calls him. ‘He sees me as a lamb…a gentle little lamb, like this one in my arms.’ He looked over at one of the rams who gave him a deep, bellowing bleat. ‘But I am a ram! I will always be a ram! Yes! I will grow my horns and strengthen my back to demolish my enemies!’ An image of Ivan came into his mind, and he shuddered. ‘I just need the courage first.’

///

Ivan looked out the window from his new room towards the farm where he could see Matthew, his bride-to-be. The young man intrigued him more than any other he had come in contact with. The gentleness in Matthew was strange to him, for in his world, such softness would be frowned upon. Rarely were simple farm animals cuddled and cared for so tenderly as Matthew was handling that lamb. It wasn’t just the lamb, but all the farm animals were following behind Matthew. Ivan saw that he visited each pen, stall, and stable to greet the animals that resided there. Horses, cows, pigs, goats, sheep, geese, ducks, chickens, donkeys, and even the rabbits? Ivan raised a brow at the row of hutches, each one containing one or two rabbits. Matthew fed, picked up, and held each one carefully. Ivan couldn’t turn his eyes away from the man; couldn’t stop watching him as the rounds were made. 

‘Matthew…how sweet you are. I wonder how quick I can break you?’

“My Lord?”

“Yes, Ludwig?” 

“Your presence is needed in the armory.” 

Ivan was still staring at Matthew, his arms crossed. “Whatever for?”

Ludwig folded his arms behind his back. “We’re doing inventory.” 

“I’m not needed for that. I’m sure you can handle it on your own, Ludwig. I give you permission.”

“Yes, sir.” Ludwig walked up to stand beside him. “What are you looking at?”

Ivan smirked. “My new bride.”

“Young Lord Matthew?” Ludwig gave a light snort. “Is such a man appropriate for a dark lord such as yourself? Marrying him would seem almost comical in the eyes of our clan.”

“While that may be, it is not the reason I’m marrying him. I’m sure many of our people will be furious for marrying such a sickly little thing, but there are more pros than cons.” Ivan watched Matthew stroke the nose of a large horse. “The Ram people love and adore him. I need an army to help hold and navigate these vast lands and hills. What better way than to marry one of their own? And Matthew is not like his brother at all. That Little Lamb can be broken in quite nicely.”

Ludwig looked out the window at Matthew as well. “I know of this Matthew as well. Someone as cruel and powerful as you would pick someone like him. He’s your complete opposite. But I wouldn’t say that he’s a ‘little lamb’.” He turned to Ivan. “Don’t forget that little lambs grow up to be mighty rams. Once they feel their horns-“ Ivan silenced him by lifting his hand.

“I understand. Yet I foresee the future differently. Matthew could never harm me. I have his brother in chains and hold his people captive. He can do no harm at all. Look at how he holds the chick, Ludwig. A chick. Can you imagine?”

“If you held one you’d squish it in your hand. Perhaps he should have been born a woman. His gentle nature would make much more sense then.”

Ivan shook his head. “I’ve known women to be more brutal and cruel than men. Matthew is a different source all together. And he will be mine. It’s time I settle down as well, wouldn’t you say?”

“Yes, sire.” Ludwig bowed and turned to leave the chambers. ‘But it is known that when you put a gentle lamb in the same stall as a wild stallion its gentle nature will help to ease the stallion’s fury.’ He wasn’t sure if that would be beneficial to them or it would help to bring down the entire clan.

Ivan leaned on the windowsill as he watched Matthew playing with the baby lambs and colts. ‘Curious little creature you are, Matthew Williams.’

///

Matthew came back into the castle after spending the entire day outside. He continued to wander around the halls, seeing that many of the bodies have been removed. Matthew wondered what became of his father’s body, so he asked any servants or defeated soldiers he came across if they knew. No one could tell him anything, since many were still in shock and shaking with fear. Matthew tried to assure them that everything would be alright and for them not to be afraid anymore. One of the wandering guards overheard Matthew asking about his father so he offered an answer.

“He was put in the mass grave already. Warlord Ivan struck him down easily and left his body to slowly die on the floor.”

Matthew fell back against the wall and slowly slid down to the floor. He imagined his father’s body sprawled out on the floor, and then lying among a mass of other bodies with dirt being thrown on top. His father was LORD, and a NOBLE one at that. The man deserved a Lord’s funeral and burial. But now, that would never come to be. Matthew felt grief and sorrow for all the other lives lost, but this man was still his father. Plus, his brother was wounded and locked up in the dungeon while he is going to be Ivan’s bride. He brought his knees to his chest and cried silently for never had he ever been so miserable before.

Eventually he got the strength to go back to his chambers where Feliciano was just getting up. He smiled at his friend, but then frowned when he saw the blood stain from Alfred still on his rug. Matthew placed his hand over his heart in grief for his brother, and hoped the man was fairing well in the dungeon. Alfred was very strong and extremely stubborn, as well as massively resilient. But there was still that ‘what if’ in the back of his mind. And the blood stain was still there. Matthew decided to roll up the rug to hide the stain and push the heavy object up against the wall for now. The floor would be cold against his feet yet it was better than always seeing that stain.

“M-Mattie?” Feliciano whispered his name with a hoarse voice. “Was this all…a dream?”

Matthew smiled sadly and went over to his friend. “I wish it was a dream, Feli, but it’s not. This is real…and our lives have changed.”

Feliciano covered his face, his shoulder shaking with soft sobs. “I’m scared, Mattie! I’m frightened! Those guards! They…they…”

“Sh, I know. We won’t say anything more about it. I promise to keep you safe, and I will ask Ivan that it is to be done. After all…he is to be my…” he blushed heavily, “my husband.” 

Feliciano’s hands slowly moved away from his face to stare in wide eyed fear at his master. “Y-You? And…and that…that MONSTER?”

“SHH! I know. I don’t want it to happen either, but I have to keep this castle going and protect my people. Alfred is in the dungeons and…and I know Ivan will use him against me, for everything. It’s a sacrifice I must make to save Ram Hill Hall.”

“You are very brave, Mattie.”

“I don’t feel brave. I feel…terrified.” 

The door opened. Both men froze.

“Ah, here you are, my Little Lamb.” It was Ivan, smiling at them both on the bed. “Your groom looks ready to wet himself. Quite funny!”

Matthew held Feliciano close, stroking the brown hair. “You let your men do horrible things to him. Feliciano is my servant and my friend, and I would like him to be safe from the cruelties of other men.”

Ivan stepped into the chambers. “Isn’t it a little early to be asking for favors from me?”

“I fear for my friend. Please, Lord Ivan?” He asked softly.

“Hmph. Very well. Your request is a stupid one, but easily granted. Now tell your little field mouse friend there to go away.” He smirked. “It’s our time now.”

Matthew gulped, but whispered to Feliciano to go to the kitchens. His friend left quickly, nearly running past Ivan and out of the chambers. Ivan closed the door and locked it. 

“Now we are alone.” Ivan noticed that the carpet was rolled up. “Rearranging?” 

“N-No sir.” He answered. “I couldn’t bear to see the blood so I…I rolled it up.”

Ivan tilted his head for a moment, and then smiled with a little chuckle. “Ah, you see, that can’t be, my Little Lamb.” He moved the rug and unrolled it along the floor, revealing the blood once again. “I want this rug to remain as it is. This blood will remind you of just WHO defeated the Rams and the failure of your brother.” Ivan stood over the dried spot. “A nice little reminder for you to always be a good little boy.”

Matthew felt the tears welling up in his eyes again, and wondered if he would EVER be able to stop crying. He just nodded, bottom lip trembling as one arm wiped at his tears. 

“Now then, why don’t you show your husband-to-be what a caring wife you can be?” He held up a glass vial. “My muscles ache from all that fighting and killing. Be a good little lover and massage my shoulders?” Ivan sat on the bed and Matthew moved to kneel behind him. “No, not like that. I want you to be naked while you massage me. Now strip.” He heard the young man sniffling and slight movement was felt as his clothes were removed. Ivan glanced behind him to see if Matthew did as he was told. “Good boy.” He reached the vial behind him. “Shoulders first.” He removed his own tunic.

Matthew stared at the strong back and broad shoulders thick with solid muscle. The white skin sported many old scars as well. He was afraid to touch Ivan like this but feared the man’s wrath more. So he poured some of the herbal oil onto his palm, rubbed his hands together, and started massaging Ivan’s shoulders. The large man gave a deep moan as his shoulders relaxed slightly. Matthew could feel all the tension and heavy knots in the broad shoulders so he added more pressure. He gritted his teeth as he used all his strength to try and loosen the knots but Ivan’s skin was as thick as an ox. Matthew even had to resort to tiny grunts, which made Ivan laugh.

“You’re so small and weak! Just like a lamb!” Ivan spun around and grabbed Matthew by the forearms. “I want nothing more than to take you right here and now, but I will wait for our wedding night. Which is going to be very, very soon. VERY soon.” He grinned at Matthew’s terror-stricken face. “How about a little cuddling? That will make you happy.”

“Y-Yes sir.” 

“When we are in private like this, you may call me Ivan.”

Matthew shied away. “Y-Yes, Ivan.” 

Ivan squeezed Matthew’s forearms tightly, forcing the other to cry out. “You’re so sweet it makes me just want to hurt you!”

“Please don’t!” Matthew looked at the child-like face and for a moment thought that Ivan was insane. “I’m doing everything you say! YOU’RE HURTING ME!” He screamed out as loudly as he could. Ivan had pulled away and he rubbed at his arms, shying away from the dark beast. 

“Forgive me for hurting you, Little Lamb.” Ivan smiled at him. “I just got carried away, but like I said, we will cuddle. But I must be naked too in order to cuddle. So, let’s start your training as a good little wife and come undress your husband-to-be, starting with my boots.” Ivan went across the room to one of the chairs in front of the cold fireplace and sat down, beckoning Matthew with his finger.

Matthew had helped his father undress before, so he was certain doing the same to Ivan would be easy. However, he didn’t want to undress the man at all much less see him naked. As he went over to his tormentor, Matthew thought about how this man had killed his father and wounded his brother. It angered him that he had to be so kind to someone as brutal and cruel as Ivan. But he was powerless to do anything! They say to win your enemies over with kindness, but could he really be kind to this man? This cruel and violent man who has no right to be living in this castle? For the first time in his life, Matthew had a murderous thought…one of stabbing Ivan in his black heart and watching him slowly die. 

‘I want to do that…I should do that…but I’m afraid. Afraid.’ He knelt on the floor and pulled off Ivan’s boots. Ivan stood up from the chair and motioned to his belt. Matthew, with trembling fingers, unhooked it and pulled it through the loops. Next, he untied the string to let the black pants fall to the floor, and Ivan stepped out of them. Now the beast was standing naked before him. Matthew could not bring himself to look at Ivan’s naked body. His cheeks flushed warmly. 

“Stand up.” Ivan commanded. When Matthew stood, Ivan grabbed the thin wrist and forced the soft hand to touch his hardening cock. 

“Ah!” Matthew was unprepared for the forced touch and looked down to see Ivan’s growing erection. His eyes widened at the sheer size of it only being half-erect. Suddenly, Matthew wanted to slit his own throat than lie in bed with Ivan. He wouldn’t be the first bride-to-be who killed themselves before the wedding night due to a forced marriage. 

“You’ve really never have touched a man before. Aside from yourself, do you even know what a man looks like?” He chuckled, holding Matthew’s hand there as the other tried to pull away.

“N-Not like this! Please, I-“

“It will be very pleasurable for you on our wedding night so long as you obey me and continue to do as I say.” He pulled Matthew close to him, feeling his cock press up against the flat belly. “Should you do something to displease me then I shall be forced to take my pleasure with you. Ask your little groom what forced entry feels like if you are thinking about disobeying me.”

Matthew gulped, his eyes full of tears and his body trembling against the hard one. He felt himself lifted with one arm and carried to the bed, were he was casually tossed on to the covers. His first reaction was to hide himself, but remembered Ivan’s words about ‘disobeying’. ‘I’m too powerless to do anything. I’m not a might ram…I never will be.’ He felt himself being shifted on the bed, but paid it no mind for he was lost in thought. ‘I am terrified of this man. I don’t know what to do.’ He felt the man’s heavy weight press down on him. ‘I’m useless to everyone…I’m better of being dead.’

‘Mattie! You’ve got to get stronger!’ The voice of his brother echoed in his ears. ‘You can’t let yourself be a pushover forever! Stand up for yourself! I won’t always be there to do it for you, you know! And you’re stronger than you think! You’ve got to learn to take the bull by the horns!’

‘The bull by the horns!’ His eyes flew open only to look up into Ivan’s. ‘The bull by the horns. I have to be strong like Alfred said. I can do this. I HAVE to do this! For my home and my family!’ 

“What are you thinking about, Little Lamb?”

“Only you, Ivan,” he whispered. Matthew didn’t know what the next few days would bring, but what he did know was that he had to get rid of Ivan and win back the family castle. He would have to be the one to kill one. ‘But can I really kill someone, even if they are bad?’

‘Mattie, you don’t have a mean bone in your body!’ Alfred scolded him. ‘And that’s going to get you into a lot of trouble someday.’ But then, his big brother gave him a friendly grin. ‘Of course, it might also be the thing that saves you. You can be kind to enemies, but I can’t. I’m just a bastard that way, I guess.’ 

‘Can Ivan respond to kindness?’ His mind drew a blank when he felt Ivan’s lips press against his…and his body tensed up with fear once again.

End Chapter 1 TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos! <3
> 
> Warnings: DARK IVAN, rape (non-con), violence
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I am making no money off of this fic.

Iron and Lace

Chapter 2

Matthew lay trembling under the covers as Ivan snored softly beside him. It had only been cuddling, but to Matthew, it was like a hot branding iron was touching him. All he could picture when Ivan was holding him close is a beastly man in full armor, standing on a pile of dead bodies while holding a head in his hand. The image would not leave his mind, even when he closed his eyes. Not only would this man beside him plague his days but his nights and dreams as well. He was to marry the man who slew his father and imprisoned his brother. This man enslaved his land, castle, and people by bloody force. How could he live with this man?

‘If the gods are good then they will strike me down at the altar.’

///

Ivan had not lied when he said the wedding would be soon. Three days after the small ceremony had been quickly planned; the castle lightly decorated, a few nobles attending, and a handful of common people who would bear witness to the union.

Matthew sat on a chair in his chambers where only Feliciano was allowed to dress and prepare him. Ivan had managed to get him a long tunic with a short front and a long back that trailed across the floor. It had been a soft cream in color and was made of silk. Even the buttons matched the tunic and a simple brocade design was embroidered down the center. The pants were also a shade of cream and his brand new boots were an earthy brown. Atop his head sat the traditional wedding flower crown of the Rams, which all brides must wear. The crown itself was a woven bronze that served as a guide to weave the chosen flowers. Feliciano had already taken care of getting it ready early in the morning, using white roses, lilies, and lily of the valley with a hint of green mint leaves. It was the finishing touch to Matthew’s whole attire. Matthew had chosen to wear his mother’s pearls around his wrist instead of around his neck. The fear was Ivan ripping them off in a jealous rage, since Matthew was to not have much of anything pertaining to the Rams. It was a chance he was going to have to take.

Feliciano, while rubbing some lotion onto Matthew’s hand, looked up at him from his spot on the floor. “You really do look beautiful, Mattie.”

“I don’t feel that way.” Matthew said softly. “I feel like jumping out that window and breaking my neck to save me from this.”

“Veh! You can’t think like that!” Feliciano whined. “I don’t want to lose you, Mattie!”

Matthew’s purple eyes looked down at his loyal friend. “But what a life I must lead from here on out. I’m marrying that…that monster!”

“Sh! Don’t speak so loud! Master Ivan could be anywhere!”

Matthew nodded and fell silent while Feliciano finished up with the lotion. “What will you do tonight?”

“I have to help the other servants get Master Ivan’s chambers ready for…” he blushed.

“Oh. Yes, that.” Matthew started to tremble at the thought.

“Mattie, may I offer a little advice?” Feliciano asked softly.

“Certainly.”

“I know you don’t like to drink…but it will help to dull your senses and ease your body. You will find…coupling with Master Ivan a little easier.”

Matthew gave a smile. “Yes, I will do so. Perhaps I’ll throw up and he’ll become disgusted with me and not want to consummate the marriage.” He sighed heavily. “Has he kept his word to you? Have you…been touched?”

Feliciano shook his head. “Not at all. I’m still scared to move around the castle and I stick to only the servants who are still alive. I’m still haunted by that horrible day!” He gave a violent shudder of fear but Matthew stroked the top of the brown hair.

“At least he has kept his word and you haven’t been hurt since. I don’t know what will be in store for me tonight. All I know is that I’m frightened…and I wish I weren’t.”

“Just remember what I said and…just do whatever he tells you to do.”

Matthew stood from the chair. “He wants me to be very obedient, and so I shall! He can’t hurt me, Alfred, or you if I just give in to him. If it will make life easier then it leaves me room to think of a way out of this!”

Feliciano kissed his forehead. “Just keep yourself safe and alive. Now you must go. Ludwig will be waiting for you at the end of the hall.”

Narrow shoulders stiffened. “I should be lead by my father or brother…not some beastly guard.” He turned tearful eyes at Feliciano. “What if I can’t do it?” He whispered.

“Think of Alfred and your people. That will give you strength.”

Matthew bit his lip but gave Feliciano a curt nod. He kissed his servant on the cheek before leaving the room and meeting up with Ludwig. The large blonde bowed to him and once again offered his arm. Trembling, Matthew hooked his arm with Ludwig’s and they proceeded to the main hall where the ceremony was to take place. The large doors were open to them, and a small crowd of nobles, people, and guards were looking at him. Matthew gulped and felt his feet frozen to the floor but Ludwig pulled him along. Before the priest stood his husband-to-be, Ivan, dressed all in black one again but not in armor. He wore a black doublet over a dark bell sleeved shirt with pants and boots. Upon his head sat the woven gold crown that Matthew knew was unmistakably his father’s. Matthew’s eyes were now focused on the crown; the stolen crown, the one that belong atop his father’s head! Ivan said everything from Ram Hall was to be done away with, yet there he stood with a smirk and wearing the family crown. Matthew felt as if he were going to throw up.

///

‘Here he comes. My Little Lamb…brought to the altar to be sacrificed.’

Ivan couldn’t deny the fact that Matthew looked stunning for a shy little lamb. His choice in color and attire had been well worth the price. Although Matthew should be wedded to him in black or purple, Ivan just couldn’t picture the young man wearing anything but white or cream. Let them be light and dark in this marriage. Ivan was the evil Warlord whom all men feared. The very mention of his name sent shivers down the bravest men’s spines. Let Matthew be their light, warming and comforting them so that Ivan may gain further control of the world. Matthew will see victims, criminals, and enemies off to their deaths with a sweet prayer of hope just as Ivan would sign the death warrant. Matthew would be easy to control while he had his brother in prison. Before getting ready he had witnessed Alfred being whipped for nearly breaking the wrist of one of his shoulders. How he wished the bleeding man would be here right now to see his precious baby brother wed to the enemy. It would make this ceremony all the sweeter. And then, Matthew was brought to him; pale face flushed lightly and bottom lip quivering with fear. Ivan held out his black gloved hand, and with a shaky grip, Matthew took it.

“You look lovely, Little Lamb.” Ivan whispered to him.

“Thank you, my lord.” Matthew barely let the whisper be heard. He never even heard the words of the priest as the man spoke. Matthew stood there like a statue, just staring straight ahead at the banners of the Dunraven Clan. ‘No.’ He thought. ‘I am a Ram! A mighty Ram! This castle belongs to my family and my people…not to you.’ He glanced over at Ivan, who was smiling. ‘Monster.’

“Lord Matthew!” The priest spoke loudly, and it jerked Matthew from his thoughts. “Face your husband.”

Matthew swallowed hard and slowly turned his body to face Ivan’s. The dark warlord smiled and took his hand, slipping a thin solid gold ring onto his finger. He had to do the same to Ivan, but as he was slipping the ring on, his vision suddenly blurred and he fainted.

///

When Matthew awoke it was to the smell of scented candles and a warm, fragranced bed. He moaned and stirred, finding the room to be slightly cold. It was then that he noticed his wedding attire had been stripped from him and he lay on the bed naked. Gasping, Matthew pulled the covers up over himself and sat up to frantically gaze around the room, searching for Ivan. Was the wedding night over? Did he sleep through it? Was he drugged throughout the entire thing? Blushing, Matthew reached his hand behind him to check if he had been penetrated. A breath of relief washed over him as he felt everything was normal, but the fear quickly came back when he realized that the consummation had not happened. Ivan must be on his way here to the chambers. Just the thought made Matthew start to tremble violently under the sheets.

Then, there came a pounding on the door and he jumped. No one waited for him to answer but the door swung open and in stepped two guards holding a body. The two men dragged the limp form into the room, and when Matthew recognized who it was, he screamed:

“ALFRED!”

He wanted to jump out of bed but remembered his nakedness and was forced to remain where he was. He cried as he took in the sight of his big brother. Alfred’s feet were bound together by rope, which kept him from kicking or running. His brother seemed to have lost a bit of weight as well. The only article of clothing Alfred wore was his torn pants and Matthew could see all the bloody gashes and welts that decorated the battered body. But when Matthew’s eyes looked to Alfred’s arms, he noticed one seemed to be shorter than the other. When he saw that it was Alfred’s sword hand he felt as if he were going to be sick. The thick bandage was brown with old blood, and he wondered if it were the whole hand or just fingers. He barely had the strength to cry out or shout his brother’s name. Alfred wouldn’t even lift his head to look at him. Softly, he whispered, “Alfie…!”

The sound of another person entering the room drew a shriek from his throat. He turned to see Ludwig walking in, his features stern, and being followed by Feliciano. Matthew was grateful for seeing his loyal friend and servant, the only bit of relief he had at the moment. Feliciano hurried over to him and took Matthew’s hands in his own, squeezing them tight.

“Mattie! I tried to stop them but they pulled Alfred in here!”

Matthew’s eyes were full of tears. “What is going on?” He turned to Ludwig. “Please tell me…what is happening? Why is my brother beaten so? I promised to do everything Lord Ivan said and I have kept my promise! Why has he not kept his?”

Ludwig folded his arms behind his back and stood straight up, not meeting Matthew’s eyes. “Lord Ivan has held up to his end of the bargain as promised. However, Lord Alfred is in this condition due to his own behaviors and actions. They had nothing to do with you, Lord Matthew. And I regret to inform you that I must be present during the consummation of your marriage. Alfred will be here as well, along with your servant, Feliciano.”

“W-Why do people need to watch us?” He cried out. “I don’t want Alfred here! I don’t want him to see this!” Matthew turned to Feliciano. “I can’t have him see this!” He whispered to his friend.

Ludwig spoke next. “This is part of Alfred’s punishment for being disobedient. Lord Ivan has threatened to burn out his eyes if he does not watch this consummation. Your brother brought all this misfortune upon himself, so you should feel no remorse for him.”

Matthew wanted to scream and yell at the guard but knew it wouldn’t do any good. Instead, he ushered Feliciano out of the way so he could see his brother. ‘I have to be strong…like Alfie says!’ So taking a deep breath and swallowing his shame, Matthew climbed out of the bed. Feliciano asked if he wanted a robe but Matthew just ignored him. With a lump in his throat and fresh tears in his eyes, Matthew walked over to Alfred’s bound body. The guards gave him a disapproving look, but Matthew quickly adverted his eyes. He spoke his brother’s name softly and watched as Alfred lifted his head towards him. Matthew held back a sob when he saw that Alfred had been gagged. His brother’s normally bright blue eyes seemed almost faded with pain, depression, and anger. Gently, Matthew rests his hand on Alfred’s bandaged hand. Matthew wondered if Ivan had done it himself or had someone else do it. He couldn’t hold back his sobs any longer and cried into his hands. Feliciano hurried over to him and urged him away from Alfred, bringing him back to the bed. How could he face Ivan now knowing what has been done to his brother?

There came the sound of heavy boots walking down the hall towards the chambers and Matthew jumped into bed if only to hide. From the opened door walked in Ivan, dressed only in a dark robe with just his boots. In his hand he carried a goblet of something, and he stopped to drink it down all the while gazing at Matthew. Matthew felt his heart race, his blood run cold, and his body tremble. There was movement from the right and Matthew turned to see his brother weakly struggling in the guards’ hold as he tried to get to Ivan. Matthew shrieked when Ivan laughed.

“Calm yourself, Alfred. Be thankful that you are out of that dungeon and here in a warmer room.” Ivan said with a smile. “This is also such a memorable night for your baby brother. Since you couldn’t make the wedding I thought this would be the next best thing.” Alfred muttered something from behind the gag. Ivan cupped his ear and leaned over. “I’m sorry, what did you say? Oh I can’t hear you. Pity.” Ivan smirked and turned to Ludwig. “Is everything else taken care of?”

“Yes, my lord.”

“Good.” His violet eyes focused on Feliciano next. “Stand by silently and wait until we are done to tend to your young master.”

Feliciano shook where he stood and could only give a nod of understanding.

Finally, Ivan’s eyes settled on Matthew. ‘He still trembles at the sight of me. That’s good. I want him that way.’ He untied his robe as he approached the bed, locking eyes with his Little Lamb. The soft violet orbs were full of fear and the pale face was flushed with embarrassment. Most likely it was from all the people in the room who would be watching them. Ivan found it amusing that Matthew didn’t know this was all part of the wedding night in general. The young man was so sheltered from the world.

He took off his boots first and then let his robe drop to the floor. It pleased him when Matthew quickly turned away to hide his face from the sight. Even though the head was turned away, Ivan could see the small tears pouring down the cheek. He reached his hand out and caught a few, smiling when Matthew shuddered at his touch. Ivan looked at the tear on his fingertip before bringing it to his mouth to taste the droplet. ‘Liquid fear, I like it.’

“Mattie, please look at me.” He commanded softly. It took the young man a moment but soon those soft violet eyes red with tears were looking at him. “Why do you cry, my Little Lamb? Do these people here embarrass you? Not to worry. Everyone in this room can only say that we completed our marriage. Anything else spoken will result in their tongues being cut out and their fingers smashed. You have nothing to fear.”

Matthew whimpered and rubbed at his eyes with his fists as a child would. “That’s not why I’m crying.” He whispered. “My brother…what did you do to him?”

“Alfred brought this on himself. He is my prisoner and will remain so until the end of his days. If he obeys me then his life will be long. If he continues to disobey me then I’m afraid I will have to put him to death in the most violent way I can think of.”

“BUT WHY?”

Ivan reached his hand out to play with Matthew’s silken hair. “Alfred and I go back a long way, but that is none of your concern right now is it? This is between me and Alfred.” He knelt on the bed so to be closer to Matthew. “I don’t want you to worry about such things, Little Lamb. I want you to sing pretty songs and make pretty things and play with your little animal friends. You will make a wonderful wife and lover for me, all the while keeping your brother alive. I may have hurt him, but notice I have yet to kill him.”

Matthew glanced at Alfred. “I want Alfred safe.”

“Then plead with your brother to swallow his pride and do as I ask of him.” Ivan gave an eerie smirk and whispered, “You know he won’t do it. He’s too headstrong and stubborn for that.” When he saw Matthew’s shoulders droop he knew the man had understood. “Now, lie down on your belly for me, Little Lamb.”

Matthew’s teary eyes looked at Ivan in horror, knowing that this was the start of the second worse night of his life. Not only was his brother brutally wounded and forced to watch but there were also other eyes all on him. He was going to be watched performing the most intimate act between two people. At least on his belly he would not have to look at Ivan or anyone else, especially Alfred. So silently obeying (except for sobs), Matthew lay down on his belly and shielded his face in the pillow. This bed he was on was his parents bed, the one he had been born in, and the same one he’d climbed in too many times to sleep. Now there was a STRANGER in his family bed, and he was to be raped upon it. The same bed he and his brother were conceived on. It was a horrible, depressing thought but quickly forgotten when he felt Ivan’s heavy weight settle atop of him. It was hard to breath but not from the weight, rather from his own fear and anxiety. This time Ivan was going to go all the way and not just cuddle like before. He cried desperately into the pillow as he felt his hips lifted to settle on his knees. Behind him Ivan laughed and said:

“Too bad your brother has lost his good fingers or else I would have made HIM prepare you for me!”

Matthew couldn’t believe such a thought had even crossed Ivan’s mind! Why would he even think something like that! What purpose did it serve? ‘Just to hurt me…and to humiliate my family further.’

“Or maybe I could have your little servant here do it for me; or there’s always Ludwig. What do you want, Little Lamb? Who do you want?” He leaned down to whisper. “If you answer correctly I will make sure most of this is pleasurable for you. If not, then you’ll have to be punished.”

‘Why does he do this? Why?’ Matthew thought as he sobbed into the pillow. He didn’t want anyone to prepare him for anything! Now this was game to Ivan? He wanted to him guess?

“Quickly, Little Lamb. I grow very impatient very quickly,” Ivan warned in a sing-song voice.

Matthew knew what the right answer was, but it pained him to say it. “J-Just you, Ivan. I want…only you.” He felt a kiss pressed to the back of his neck, but it felt as if he had been burned with a hot iron.

“Good answer, Little Lamb, and it’s the right one as well.” Ivan snapped his fingers at Feliciano. “Bring me the lube from Ludwig.”

Feliciano rushed over and held his hand out to Ludwig who placed a small vial in his small hand. The smaller man brought it to Ivan and quickly moved away to hide as far back in the shadows as he could.

Before opening the vial, Ivan leaned over Matthew’s back to once again whisper in his ear. “Because of all who have to watch, this consummation will be quick. Any other time I want to have you will be in private where we can do whatever we want. I’ll still try and make it pleasurable for you.”

He was going to be sick to his stomach. He should be relieved that the whole act would be over with quickly but feared the pain that would come with it. When speaking to Feliciano, his servant had told him how painful it was when the men moved too fast. Ivan was not an average man and Matthew had already seen what he looks like naked. His heart froze when the sound of a tiny cork popping filled his ears. The vial had been opened. Then, there was gentle pressure at his entrance and something rubbing it in slow circles. Matthew knew it had to be Ivan’s finger. And then the pain came as Ivan shoved the finger fully inside of him. Matthew cried out into the pillow, tightening up his body and inner muscles. If just a finger hurt this much then Ivan’s erection would split him in half.

“You really are a true virgin. So tight…so smooth, like velvet.” Ivan carefully started to slide his finger and out. “I will need more lube for this. You, servant! Fetch some more from the cart and be quick about it! If your little lordling gets penetrated without proper preparation then he will be forced to blame you. And then I will have to carry out a proper punishment.” He smirked at how fast the young servant ran to do as he was told. Beneath him he could still hear Matthew whimpering into the pillow, the inner muscles still tense. “Relax, Little Lamb. Relax your muscles and it will feel better. Best do it quickly too.” Ivan shoved another finger in to join the second.

Matthew screamed this time as his anus was forcefully stretched to try and accommodate the foreign invaders. He clenched his eyes shut and bit his lip to try and relax the muscles like Ivan said. But he just couldn’t do it! He could only imagine the look on Alfred’s face right now, and that brought on another wave of fresh tears. ‘Alfie! Alfie, Alfie, Alfie!’ He cried out in his head. ‘Make this all go away!’ He wanted his big brother to come and rescue him from this monster.

“Ah, good, he came back in time.”

Matthew let out a cry of relief when he felt the fingers pulled out of him.

Ivan added more of the new lube onto his fingers and this time pushed in three all together. Matthew’s pained cries were music to his ears; the most beautiful sound he had heard. Even the young man’s screams were still as soft as his normal speaking voice. He watched the lithe body writhe around on the bed, small hands gripping and tearing at the sheets. Matthew was uncomfortable with the pain, and Ivan did promise to make it more pleasurable for the young lamb. Reaching his free hand between Matthew’s legs he cupped the pale balls and rolled them gently. He heard Matthew give a shriek of both shock and what he had hoped was pleasure. Ivan wondered if Matthew ever pleasured himself when he was alone or is one of those people who just don’t do it. It would be a fun question to ask his Little Lamb at another time. A smirk came to his lips when he felt the other had grown hard from the touching. He continued to let his fingers thrusts in and out while his other hand moved to stroke the silken erection. Every part of Matthew was soft and silken to the touch; he barely had any body hair. Ivan disliked how small and thin Matthew was. He had no care for the type of doctors and physicians this part of country held. His own apothecary would be looking at Matthew very soon. However, Matthew’s condition didn’t take away from his innocent beauty; innocence he will have very shortly. He removed his fingers as well as his other hand and heard the gasp of relief from the man under him.

Matthew’s innocence was one of the traits that allured Ivan to him. It would hurt his Little Lamb, but he wanted to see the virgin man do it. Also, it would anger his brother. Making Alfred suffer is worth any amount of Matthew’s emotional distress. “Mattie, sit up on your knees and turn around to face me.” The young man whimpered and his shoulders shook with soft sobs but did as he was told. Ivan tilted his head at the sight of Matthew’s tear stained and blushing face, looking like a lamb begging not to go to the slaughter. It was a beautiful sight to Ivan, and now he would only add to that mesmerizing sadness. “Give me your hands.” Pale, shaking hands were held out to him. Ivan poured some lube into Matthew’s palms, watching the look of fear and mild confusion on the younger man’s face. “Slick me up.”

Matthew’s eyes widened. “W-What? No! No I can’t! I can’t do that!” He shrieked when Ivan roughly grabbed his wrists and forced his hands to touch the engorged erection. Matthew’s breathing stopped in his chest when his hands touched the hard length. His face burned a bright red, and he couldn’t take his eyes off of it. This was the first time he was actually SEEING a full erection that wasn’t his own. The skin was darker when it was filled with blood, so unlike his own. But Ivan forced his hands to start stroking him so the lube made the dark skin shiny with the liquid. This was only leading them closer and closer to the final act.

///

Alfred growled through the gag and tried to throw his weight forward in means to escape. Ivan was forcing his brother to do all this just to hurt him! The fingers on his sword hand may be gone but he bet he could still slug the bastard across the jaw with it. He could tell that Matthew was mortified by what he was being forced to do, and Alfred would have to watch him get raped or risk having Ivan burn out his eyes. Alfred wanted to turn his eyes away from all this but knew his whole life would be over if he lost his eyes. He couldn’t be any help to Matthew being blind. ‘Just try and get through it, Mattie. Be strong!’

///

He was back on his belly with his hips elevated and his legs spread wide. Only this time, he did not have the pillows to shield his face. Instead, Ivan had positioned them right in the direction of where Alfred was being held. Matthew’s eyes met his brother’s and silently pleaded for the man to look away. He squeaked when Ivan gripped his hips and lifted them higher so he could feel the tip of the erection. Matthew held his breath, squeezed his eyes shut, and gripped the sheets in preparation for the rape. Yes, he saw this as rape; not sex or marital relations, just rape. There was more pressure being applied but no pain as of yet. Then, the first sting of pain was felt as the head stretched through the tight ring. Matthew bit his lip to keep from crying out but it didn’t last long before he voiced his displeasure. Tears filled his eyes as the painful stretching seemed to never end. It felt like he was being torn apart from the side. The pain even traveled up his back! He couldn’t hold back his sobs any longer and cried openly as his body was wracked with pain. He wanted to die if only to spare himself this humiliation and save him from the pain. He tried to ease the discomfort in his body by lifting himself up on his elbows but made the mistake of glancing under to see his thighs. A thin trail of blood rushed down his leg and dripped onto the white sheet. His eyes widened and he cried out, feeling his mind slip into a panic. Desperately, he crawled at the bed and tried to get away, but that was the worst thing he could do. Behind him Ivan growled and jerked him back, forcing the rest of his erection inside. Matthew let a pure scream of pain and terror rip from his throat.

“NO!” He screamed. “PLEASE STOP! IT HURTS!”

“Calm yourself, Mattie.” Ivan leaned forward to coo softly in his ear. The virgin tightness around him was threatening to make him lose control. He could get used to the feel of Matthew around his cock like this all the time. They were so different in size that no matter how many times Ivan took him, his Little Lamb would always be tight. “Just try to relax.”

“I CAN’T!”

“Then I must continue further and have you learn along the way.”

Matthew felt Ivan pull out of him a bit but then it was pressed back in. The pain was the same and he cried out, tearing at the sheets. Ivan pulled out further and further each time, yet nothing changed in the way of pain. His muscles screamed with each entry and all he could do was plead with Ivan to stop, but his words fell on deaf ears. How could people endure this time after time? Then, he felt some relief of the inner pressure when Ivan pulled out, which seemed as if he were taking it out completely. Only it didn’t happen that way. Instead, Ivan thrust himself inside and while there was pain something else accompanied it. Matthew let out a gasp and arched slightly, his eyes growing wide. Ivan repeated the same move and it was the same again. By the third thrust Matthew heard himself moan from the sparks of pleasure that were igniting in his belly. The pain of entry was slowly starting to dim but it never seemed to fade away. Matthew was gasping and panting now at the pleasure, which spread throughout his body, flushing madly with embarrassment and shame. His brother could see him now, moaning and writhing as their captor took pleasure with his body.

‘I knew I would find it easily!’ Ivan thought to himself when he heard Matthew’s pleasured gasp when he struck that sweet spot. He kept his pace even with steady, slow thrusts to get Matthew used to it. Matthew had torn and the bit of blood helped to ease the passageway as well. When he finally felt the inner muscles start to relax he moved faster, speeding up his thrusts. His angle must be spot on because Matthew’s cries of pain had been heightened in pitch, indicating that his Little Lamb was feeling more pleasure. He glanced up at Alfred, whose murderous blue eyes were fixated upon him. ‘Oh yes, I’ve pissed him off now. I hope you will forgive me later for this, Mattie. I’ll make it up to you.’

He grabbed the narrow hips and began to focus only on his pleasure with Matthew’s body. The young man screamed violently but Ivan didn’t care. His pounding rhythm was making his lover feel pain but the tight, silken feel of Matthew’s body only added to his own pleasure. Ivan could feel he was nearing completion and couldn’t wait to see the expression on Alfred’s face when he did. With a few more deep, rough thrusts Ivan threw his head back and let out a mighty groan of relief as he exploded in to the tight form. Matthew’s cries had lowered to hisses and whimpers of distress but Ivan kept himself fully seated inside. His semen pushed out and around his cock to dribble onto the sheets to join with the droplets of darkening blood. Slowly he pulled out of Matthew and glanced down to see what damage he had done. The virgin ring was now red and swollen from overuse while still leaking with his cum. It was one of the best ejaculations Ivan had ever had, and knew without a doubt that his Little Lamb was indeed a treasure. He glanced towards the servant, who was covering his face with his hands and silently sobbing. Without a word, he slipped from the bed and went over to Ludwig.

“Give me your dagger.”

Ludwig took it from his belt and handed it over.

Matthew was too afraid and wracked with numbing pain to try and move. He remained in the position, gasping and gulping for air while trying to control the choking sobs coming from his throat. No longer did he care about who was in the room or who was watching. All he wanted to do was roll over and die to escape the pain. Now Ivan was bringing over a dagger? Matthew had forced himself to roll onto his back, crying out as the sudden movement shot a stinging wave of pain up through his whole left side. He saw Ivan coming with the dagger and started to panic. However, Ivan gripped the spot on the sheets where Matthew’s virgin blood and semen was. Then, he took the dagger and cut out a long piece of the sheets with the stains on it. What was he doing?

Ivan tossed the dagger aside and went over to where Alfred was still being held captive with the torn piece of material in his hand. He crouched down in front of the other and said something in his clan’s native language. The two guards forced Alfred’s arms back painfully and used their elbows to press down on his shoulder blades. Ivan smirked as Alfred’s eyes widened in agony as the hoarse, bound voice groaned into the gag. Alfred’s blue eyes still glared into his, and Ivan could see the promise of death swimming in those blue pools. Slowly, he reached behind Alfred’s head and pulled the knot holding the rag. Alfred spit it out and suddenly stretched his neck to snap his jaws at Ivan.

“Bad dog, Alfred. You should snap at your master.”

“You are not my master.” He spat out, his voice still raspy and hoarse. “I swear upon my life that I will kill you, Ivan. Whatever it takes…” he growled “no mater how long…I will kill you.”

Ivan just tilted his head and smiled at him in his usual mocking manner. “That day will never come, because I will break your spirit before then.” He held up the ripped sheet with the blood and semen stains on it. “But keep up that fiery hatred for me, dear little Alfred. It keeps you alive and strong so I can play with you more. Let this be a gift to always keep that fire burning strong.” He forced the stained part past Alfred’s teeth and tied it tight in the back of his head. Alfred shook his head and muttered incoherent words angrily. Ivan shot his hand out to wrap around Alfred’s neck and squeezed tight. He whispered harshly in Alfred’s ear. “You think you can be cruel and feared? You want to be warlord and play with the big boys? Well, I can be ten times what you are and ever will be. I want you begging and pleading for death by the time I am done with you!” He pulled away and spat in Alfred’s face. “Get him out of my sight before I use his limbs for bed posts!” 

Matthew whispered Alfred’s name as he watched his brother pulled from the room. 

“Ludwig, go with them.” Ivan ordered and the blonde man left right behind them. Ivan turned back to Matthew on the bed. “I was rough with you. I know that. I will make it up to you.” He picked up his robe and put it on. “There is much going on that you don’t know about, and I hope it will stay that way. We all do such cruel things for a reason, Little Lamb.”

“Don’t hurt him anymore,” Matthew pleaded, ignoring his own pain. 

“That is up to your brother.” Ivan helped Matthew to sit up on the bed and wiped away his tears. “I will leave you alone the rest of this night and day to regain your composure and heal.” He brushed the damp blonde strands away from the pale face. Ivan took a moment to fully adore the still innocent features of his beautiful Little Lamb. The pale violet eyes leaked fresh tears, which Ivan had stopped short by taking Matthew’s face in his hands. “You are mine, now. You belong to me. We have become one, you and I.” He brought their lips together in a soft, chaste kiss before letting go of the other. “Servant. Carry on from here.” Ivan gave a bow to Matthew. “Until tomorrow, my Little Lamb.” 

Matthew sobbed uncontrollably when Ivan finally left the room. Feliciano had the robe ready and covered Matthew’s shoulders with it. “Come now, Mattie. We have to get you warm!” 

“I want to die!”

Feliciano hugged him close, sitting on the bed to hold his crying master. He had tears in his eyes as well, most of them in relief for the wedding night finally being over. Now his master and friend could rest peacefully; for a time. “There, there, Mattie. Feli’s here for you.” He kissed the pale, sweaty forehead. “You cry all you want…get it all out.”

“I feel disgusting,” he whispered against Feliciano’s shoulder. “Help me clean…please? Please Feli…I want all of him… out of me!” 

“You have to wait for all of him to…leak out itself. But I will help you clean. The basin water is cold.”

He sniffled. “I don’t care! Just…just help me feel clean of that…that monster!” 

Feliciano helped Matthew put on his robe and steadied the man on his feet. Matthew’s knees were buckling under him and it took all of Feli’s strength to help keep his master upright. He walked Matthew to the footboard so the young man could hold on steady himself while he prepared the water. Feliciano brought the basin over with a fresh cloth and dipped it fully in the water. He wrung it out as best he could so his friend wouldn’t feel too much of the cold sting. Flushing himself, he asked Matthew to hold the robe up so only his lower half would show. Matthew gathered up the silken material and bunched it in his fists atop the footboard. Feliciano could see the bruises forming on his master’s pale thighs, as well as the dried blood and semen. Gently as he could, Feliciano began to scrub away the essence of his master’s misfortune. He could hear Matthew whimpering and crying while the nimble body shook with anxiety, shame, embarrassment, and most of all, pain. At least now the hardest part was over.

When he had Matthew fully cleaned and properly dressed in night clothes, he sat the man in a chair while he got a fire going. Once the fire grew he stripped the bed of the soiled sheets and replaced them with fresh ones. He could see Matthew trembling under the blanket he had given him, so Feliciano decided to try something else. Going back over to the fire, he took the long handle of the heating basin, opened the lid, grabbed the hearth shovel, and scooped up some burning coals. He poured a fair amount of burning embers into the basin and closed the lid to trap in the heat. Next, he went over to the bed and with the long handle gripped tight, rubbed the bottom of the hot basin along the sheets. He usually did this in the fall and winter when the castle would get brutally cold before they went to bed. But tonight it was an exception. Place the heating basin back, Feliciano helped Matthew to the bed and under the heated covers.

“Is it too hot for you?”

Matthew forced himself to smile. “No, it’s just right. Thank you. Please, will you stay with me tonight?”

“Don’t I always?” He dressed into his own nightclothes and slipped under the warm covers. “Anything you want to talk about, Mattie?”

He nodded. “I feel…so dirty because I…I enjoyed it at one point.” He rolled over onto his belly to hide his face in the pillow. “Like a whore.” 

Feliciano reached his hand out to play with a strand of Matthew’s hair. “No, that doesn’t make you a whore. It was cruel what he did but Lord Ivan prepared you so there would be some pleasure. It gets better the more experienced you are. At least that’s what people say… and it has to be true, right? Just think of all the people who…do that…all the time?”

“You’re right.” He sighed heavily. “I hurt so much…I don’t even want to move.”

“Tomorrow morning I’ll make sure a hot bath is ready and you can rest all day in bed. Lord Ivan said it himself.”

“But Alfie…he’s hurting him! Why is he so mean to my brother?”

“I wish I knew.”

Matthew’s eyes began to flutter close from exhaustion even though he was afraid to fall asleep. He tried to keep his eyes opened by focusing on Feliciano but soon they slid closed, and he fell in to a deep sleep.

The next morning, Matthew woke up to a splitting headache, an aching backside, and stiff legs. Feliciano was already up and out of the bed, yet Matthew could not hear the other in the room. He whimpered at the pain in his rump as he pushed himself onto his elbows and looked around the room. Outside it was cloudy with heavy rain pattering on the glass window. Matthew never cared for rainy days but preferred it to be sunny and warm. The rain would often depress him and with the way his life had suddenly changed he feared he’d never be happy again. He settled on his side towards the window and watched the raindrops, hearing the rolling sound of thunder as well as gusts of wind. Matthew thought the rainstorm was a bit strange for this time of year, or rather, it was a sign from the gods that his home was to be forever shrouded in darkness. 

The door to the chambers opened but Matthew did not care to see who it was that came in. He heard Feliciano’s voice softly giving directions where to place the tub. His friend had promised him a bath this morning and the thought of being clean forced him to roll over. “Feli?”

“Good morning, Mattie.” Feliciano gave him a bright smile while holding a silver tray of food. Matthew did not recognize the tray as something from Ram Hill. “I have your breakfast here. The cooks made your favorite maple porridge with some fresh strawberries, sugar, and your special drink. You can eat it after your bath.”

Carefully he sat himself up in the bed, having to use his arms to lift most of his weight. It hurt to sit upright so he had to keep his hips elevated slightly. “That tray…where did you get it?”

Amber eyes saddened. “Many of your family’s things have been sold off or burned. The castle hasn’t been quiet for more than a few hours what with all the merchants bringing in Lord Ivan’s things. This is a tray from his home.”

Matthew sniffled. “W-was everything sold off? Even my mother’s things? My father’s?” 

Feliciano placed the tray down and went to the bed, tossing the covers off and helping Matthew to stand. “I’m not sure of all that, but if you ask Lord Ivan yourself he may have a better answer.”

Matthew had to take short strides towards the tub, whimpering at the pain that shot up his spine from his rear. If this is what sex with Ivan was going to be like every time he rather jump from the window right now and end it all. The idea of having to step up and over into that wooden tub filled him with dread. He let Feliciano dress him and held on tight to his friend’s arm as he lifted his leg over the rim. The pain of stretching forced him to cry out but once both legs were in the hot water Matthew let out a breathy sigh. He settled himself in to the hot water and lounged against the back of the tub, taking in the soft aroma of bath salts, herbs, and spices. It was a strange smell, one he was not used to. Usually when he took a bath he had floral oils and soaps, yet this mixture was different. 

“How do you feel? Better?” Feli asked. 

“Yes, much. The hot water is doing wonders…especially after such a horrible night, and now such a dreary day.” He looked to the window again while Feliciano started to run water through his blonde hair. “I wonder if Ivan sold my mother’s panpipes? Or her set of oak forest animals.” 

He smiled fondly at the memory of being a little boy in his mother’s chambers and playing with the wooden animals on her dressing table. After she had died their father moved all her things into storage, because he said it pained him to look at her things and she wasn’t there. His father forbade them to touch her things, and Matthew never went into that small wing of the castle because of that rule. Ivan wouldn’t know what all that stuff was or who it belonged to, and his mother had many expensive items and clothing. He bet Ivan saw all that silk, lace, velvet, gold, and gems as a fast way to make money. His mother also had a lot of nature type objects, like the wooden animals. Those his father had carved for her, so they couldn’t be worth much if anything at all. And her panpipes were a gift given to her by her brother, also handmade. She even had a collection of glass-blown flowers, which she kept in a small vase Alfred had bought for her at fair. Ivan probably sold those too. Matthew remembered she had a rose, an iris, two lilies, and a tulip. The iris had always been his favorite one. Now these sweet, innocent memories would be washed away with the rest of his life in the rain. He was more depressed now than before. 

“Mattie, Lord Ivan gave you a few lotions and oils as a gift. The mineral salt is in the water now and this rinse is for your hair.” Feliciano held the glass bottle out in front of Matthew so he could see. “I believe it smells like rosemary.” He saw that his master wasn’t interested in it so he went on to wash the blonde silken hair. His friend moaned softly with the gentle massaging. “Is there anything else I can get for you today? Anything you would like to do?”

“Stay in bed and hide.”

Feliciano just nodded and continued on in silence. When the bath was finished he wrapped Matthew in a woolen robe and set to brushing out the blonde locks in front of the fire. Feliciano softly urged his master to talk with him, but Matthew just apologized and said he wasn’t in the mood. And for the rest of the day, as Ivan had promised, Matthew was left alone to his room. Feliciano spent most of the day reading to him when he was awake and fixing up the room when he was asleep. 

The rain continued on through the night and into the next day, a sight Matthew was reluctant to wake up to. His body had felt much better yet there was still a small ache in his backside. Sitting up was easier as well as walking and standing. He had no appetite for his breakfast but only drank his special drink. Feliciano tried to temp him with bread and warm maple syrup but like the rest it was pushed away. Matthew wanted to see Alfred. He wanted Ivan out of his life, home, and family. Matthew wanted everything to go back to the way it was, when he was happy and full of laughter. This feeling of deep, dark depression was worse than anything else he could imagine. The feeling of hopelessness, and the idea that he will have to live this way for the rest of his life. Matthew had his future all planned out, which his father would happily see to if he were still alive. The plan was for Alfred to marry a woman, take over the lands and castle while Matthew helped to raise his niece or nephew. Matthew was looking forward to being a proud uncle and helping Alfred in any way that he could. He would teach the child all about animals, plants, and syrups. Matthew wanted to stay with them until they fell asleep; tell them stories and sing songs. But all of that was in the past now. Such a dream would be forever distant from him. 

Matthew propped himself up against the pillows and stared out at the window at the drizzling rain, a pose in which he remained for the rest of the day.

///

Ivan flipped his cloak as he proceeded down the stairs of the dungeons to Alfred’s cell. The walls were filled with the screams, shrills, and cries of men as they were punished and tortured. All the men here were of the Rams and they were the ones who refused to yield to him. Breaking noble spirits was always one of his favorite past times. It pleased him to have Alfred locked up and tortured down here in his own dungeon. The man deserved everything he got and more without a chance of a trial. He wanted to keep Alfred alive and suffering for as long as possible. Within time the man would die because the human body can only take so much damage. Slowly killing Alfred was his absolute greatest joy at the moment. When he arrived in front of the cell he looked at the man slumped against the wall in chains. Ivan snapped his fingers, signaling for the jailer to open the cell door. Upon entering, he watched as Alfred’s head lifted to give him a dark, dangerous glare that promised death and destruction. Ivan just smiled sweetly, tilting his head to the side as a child would. Alfred currently only had one eye and it was swollen shut most of the way but the daggers were there. The left eye was fully bandaged and thick with blood, a fresh punishment. The blood spot on the bandage reminded Ivan of the shape of a sunflower from back home.

“Aw, are you angry? Did I hurt your feelings before?” His answer came in a grunt. “Oh, is there something you wish to say to me? I’m sorry, I can’t quite hear you.” He mocked the bound man. “Oh, perhaps I should remove your gag! How silly of me.” Ivan untied the rag and held it, listening to the joyful sounds of Alfred’s gasps and coughs. “Is that better?”

“You bastard…I know why you’re doing all this.”

“I know you do.” Ivan’s cheerful features turned dark as he gripped Alfred’s chin roughly between his fingers. “How does it feel to be on the other end, Alfred?”

“Not all of it was my fault…”

“Yet you did nothing to stop it.”

Alfred strained a smile. “What would…you have done, in my place?”

Ivan narrowed his eyes. “I wouldn’t have stood by and let it happen.”

“Yet you are…doing all this to my brother just to get back at me.” He forced a laugh. “Fucking hypocrite.” Ivan backhanded him and Alfred felt one of his molars come loose.”

“Perhaps I am, but guess what? I’m not going to let him DIE.”

Alfred wiggled his jaw around and spat out the bloody tooth by Ivan’s tooth. “Death wasn’t planned for-“

“Shut your mouth. Speak no further!” Ivan picked up the tooth and cleaned it off with his cloak. “I think I’ll have this mounted on a ring and make your brother polish it for me.”

Alfred looked at him through the narrow pained slit of his eyelids. “If she had lived…I would have never done all this. No one on my side would.” He coughed. “This is all just…proof of what a crazed monster you are!”

“Crazed monster, am I?” Ivan smirked as he stood, holding the tooth in his fist. “I wonder what your baby brother will say when I tell him of your crimes.” He smiled at Alfred’s twitch of fear. “I wonder what he will think of his big brother then?”

“He won’t believe you.” He hissed out. “I never said that I wasn’t sorry for what happened! But-“

“But your silence and lack of action was the worst of all. Alfred, we’ve only just begun to play. Soon you will be begging for death and I will not let it come.”

End Chapter 2 TBC


	3. Chapter 3

***I'm picking up this story again after a very long while! Sorry about that everyone!

***Warnings: Hardcore yaoi, language, disturbing scenes

***Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I am making no money off of this fic. 

Chapter 3

Two days had passed since their wedding night and Ivan had not come to see him once in that time. Matthew was grateful for it and hoped that Ivan would choose to ignore him from here on out. His backside had finally healed and sitting was easier. Feliciano had stayed with him the whole time, neither one ever leaving the room. Everything they needed was brought up to them but they knew next to nothing about what was going on outside the room. Matthew tried to find out more about his brother but no one would speak to him about Alfred. He feared the worst for his brother, even more so now because no one would tell him anything. Was Alfred dead? Was he still alive? Is he still hurt? All these questions plagued his mind, which filled his nights with constant worry. Matthew almost wished to speak to Ivan just to find out about his brother. But memories from their wedding night quickly destroyed whatever shred of bravery he possessed at that moment. Just the mention of Ivan’s name would send his body into fits of trembling. 

The rain still drummed on the glass, which had barely stopped at all in the last two days. There was the soft rumble of thunder and the occasional flash of lightening from outside. He wished for the sun to shine soon and in turn it would bring him a little bit of happiness. Currently his needlework consisted of a sun and a bird, and he sat in front of the fire with a napping Feliciano beside him. Alfred’s bloodstain on the rug still remained only now Matthew was used to seeing it. In a way, it gave him a strange sensation of comfort knowing that part of Alfred was still with him. His brother stood so bravely at that spot, hurt and bleeding, while desperately trying to protect them. Matthew was so ashamed of his own lack of bravery. He was too terrified to even stand up to Ivan and ask about the welfare of his brother. Alfred had stood proud and strong in the face of defeat while he just trembled in fear. ‘Why can’t I be brave like Alfred? What is wrong with me?’

There was a knock at the door and it opened, revealing Ludwig and a servant. The servant had a tray of food for them and placed it on the table, giving a quick bow to Matthew. Matthew thanked the servant as they left and then turned to Ludwig, looking up at the tall man from his spot on the floor. “Hello Ludwig.” He whispered.

“Good afternoon to you.” Ludwig glanced at Feliciano, who was still sound asleep. “I’ve come to summon you to Lord Ivan’s chambers.”

Matthew dropped the needlework in his lap, his face turning white as his heart beat rapidly in his chest. “W-Why?”

“Calm yourself. It is not what you think. Lord Ivan has fallen ill from taking a long ride out in the rainstorm and he wishes for his ‘wife’ to care for him.” Ludwig could still see the look of fear on Matthew’s face and decided to help the young man. Holding his sword, Ludwig crouched down to Matthew’s level and softened his features. “May I offer you some advice, gentle Matthew?” The young lord gave a nod. “Something…horrible has befallen Ivan and his lands some while ago. That is not an excuse for his actions, but it is a big part of who he is NOW. Sometimes evil men need to feel the gentle touch of another. Kindness and understanding will help to calm Ivan’s hatred of your family. He does not hate you, for he has no reason to. It is your brother who has brought all this misfortune upon you.”

“But…but Ludwig, what did Alfred do? No one will tell me anything!”

Ludwig stood up. “That is not my place to say but Ivan’s. All I can say is that your brother is responsible for this violent change in Ivan.”

Matthew’s eyes widened with disbelief. “M-My Alfred? No, you must be wrong! Alfred would never do anything bad! He’s too-“

“He did!” Ludwig’s features turned stoic once again. “Perhaps he did not participate in anything that happened but he was there for each one and turned a blind eye. That is all I will say. Now gather up anything you may need and then I will escort you to Ivan’s chamber. And let us make haste, for the lord does not like to be kept waiting.”

///

Matthew gulped when Ludwig closed the chamber doors, leaving him alone in the room with Ivan. He saw the man in a fitful sleep on the bed, silver bangs clung to his forehead and the candlelight sparkled off the beads of sweat. Ivan let out a throaty cough but did not wake up, only turned over in the bed to face the fire. The man was completely helpless right now and Matthew had thought about killing him. But if he were to kill Ivan they may, in turn, kill Alfred for revenge. Matthew knew that deep down he could never kill someone, not even Ivan, the man who has destroyed everything. But it was Ludwig’s puzzling words that made him rethink he pure hatred and fear for the sick man before him. Was it really Alfred who had caused all this? What did Alfred do to Ivan that required such a brutal and tragic revenge? Ivan’s heavy coughing had him standing beside the bed, lifting a hand to place it against the other’s forehead. A fever. Matthew looked at the bedside table to see some small bottles of medicine and a bowl of water with a rag.

‘Kindness. Ludwig said to show him kindness for Ivan is hurting…because of Alfred.’ Matthew bit his bottom lip, pondering on Ludwig’s words once again. How could he be kind to a man who slew his father, tortured his brother, raped him, and took over the family home? Ivan was just a cruel and evil man, wild by nature. Nature? Matthew repeated the word again. There was a theory that people were never born evil, but that they learn it from someone or something happens to make them act that way. If what Ludwig said was true, then Ivan may very well be a nice man. But he still destroyed the life Matthew knew and loved. How could he ever forgive this man who was now his husband? 

Ivan’s voice startled him.

“Who’s there?”

Matthew gulped. “Just me.” He whispered.

Ivan opened his cloudy eyes, blinking at him. “Mattie.”

He nodded. “You…sent for me?”

“Yes…but you don’t have to stay.” He coughed.

Matthew wanted to leave but chose to stay only because of the advice Ludwig had given him. “I will stay for a little bit.” Shaking, he took a seat on the bed next to Ivan. “How are you feeling? Does anything hurt?”

“The apothecary said it is a cold and will pass in time. My head, nose, and eyes hurt.”

Their father often had these colds and would ask Matthew to rub his eyes for him. Matthew didn’t want to, but if he had to show Ivan kindness to make the man less cruel, then he would just have to do it. “My lord, let me rub your eyes and head to ease the pressure. It used to work for my father when he was ill.” He watched as Ivan lifted the covers off and laid the opposite way so that his head was resting in his lap. Matthew looked down at the face resting in his lap, cheeks still flushed and eyes closed. Ivan’s head was heavy, just like the rest of him. He was the biggest man he’d ever seen, even bigger than his brother.

‘Alfred…did you really do something horrible to spark all this?’

Silently, he set to stroking Ivan’s eyes, cheeks, and temples. The man moaned softly beneath his touch and he saw a smile form at Ivan’s lips. He looked so innocent now. Just a few days ago this man was tearing down the walls of his family home and now he was simply laying here, helpless. Matthew wanted to know what had happened to cause all this. He wanted to see his brother. He wanted to ask Ivan why he hated Alfred so much. That’s when he started to cry silent tears, and they dripped onto Ivan’s face, causing the lord to open his eyes.

“Mattie? Why are you crying?”

His reply was a whisper. “I know my brother did something horrible to you. No one will tell me what it is. I can’t see my brother doing anything bad-“

“But he did.”

Matthew wiped at his eyes. “Please,” he had to humble himself “my lord husband, tell me of my brother’s crimes?”

Ivan sat up from Matthew’s lap and spun his body around to settle it under the covers. It was time that Matthew knew the true side of his big brother. “Your brother, father, and their men destroyed my home.”

Matthew’s eyes widened. “Destroyed? How?” That didn’t sound like his father or brother.

Ivan looked at the fire roaring in the hearth. “Some months ago, your brother rode into my kingdom with his people. We were speaking of territories in my regions. Your father wanted some of mine, and I in turn wanted share of your fertile lands. My clan was doing poorly after the last winter and they need food. I welcomed your brother and his men, opened my house and table to them. Your brother became my friend.”

Violet eyes widened. “You and Alfie…were friends?” 

‘Not friends, almost lovers.’ Ivan would not tell Matthew that part of it. While they had been friends, Ivan had come to love the fun and cheerful side of Alfred but the man did not return the romantic feelings. Alfred was strong and noble like him, or so he thought. There were many times where Ivan wished to lay with Alfred, either with him being on top or having Alfred be the dominant one. He just wanted to be with the bright young warrior who was so much like himself. The only difference was the optimistic outlook Alfred had that he didn’t. 

“Yes, we were friends. Both of us are the same age, we’re young lords and warriors, so we had a lot in common. However, your brother liked to spend a little too much time with my sisters.”

“I didn’t know you had sisters.”

“One older and one younger. I loved them dearly.”

Matthew gazed at the other. “ ‘Loved’ them? Where are they now?”

“Dead.” Ivan said calmly. 

Matthew bowed his head. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

Ivan turned to look at him. “Blame your brother and father.” Matthew’s head shot up, his face in shock. “Alfred said you probably won’t believe it, but I will tell you anyway for all of it is true.” His features turned hard then. “Your brother befriended my family with all the intention of betraying us. And betray us he did. While gaining our trust and accepting our hospitality, he chose to let his men slay all of mine in their sleep. Your Rams raided my castle, killed my servants, murdered my guards, and the worst…they attacked my sisters.”

Matthew was numb but continued to listen.

“I fought them, but without my men I was overpowered, thrown into my own dungeon, and left there. But before that, I was trying to protect my sisters from your men. I failed, for I was overpowered. My youngest sister fought but they killed her. She was in her bedclothes and unarmed, but she fought like a wildcat. Then they chose to rape my eldest sister in front of me. Your brother stood to the side, allowing all of this to happen and did nothing. She later died from her rape while I was rotting away in the dungeon. It wasn’t until my allies came to save the castle that I was free. So now you know how your brother caused all of this misfortune to befall you and your family. I want him to learn and see what it’s like to lose everything you have.”

Matthew felt fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. His throat was dry, and his head was spinning from the violent tale he was just told. “I don’t believe it.”

Ivan sneered. “Why do you not believe it?”

Matthew’s tear-filled eyes never left Ivan’s. “Alfred wouldn’t have planned all this! My father wouldn’t have seen this done either! Those commands came from somewhere else!”

“Yet your brother stood by and let it all happen!”

“Please, let me talk to my brother! Alfred will tell me the truth! There is more behind your story! Something you don’t know! I can’t believe my family would do this to you! It is not their doing!”

Ivan growled and reached his hand out to grab Matthew by the hair, yanking him forward. “THEY STILL ALLOWED IT TO HAPPEN!” He hollered. “Alfred’s silence and lack of help is the worst thing of all! If he didn’t plan it, he went along with it! That’s even worse! I spit on your brother! I have him rotting away in that dungeon like he did to me!”

“YOU’VE HAD YOUR REVENGE!” Matthew screamed, which was still soft. “You’ve had your revenge,” he sobbed. “Now let us go.”

“Never. Alfred will pay for his crimes!” He let him go.

“Let my brother go and I will see to it that we make it up to you.”

“That’s foolishness. Nothing will bring my sisters back.” He turned back to the fire. “Find Ludwig. Have him take you to see your brother. I want you out of my sight. Do not come back until you have spoken to your beloved big brother.”

Matthew didn’t waste any time darting out of the room. He held his hand over his mouth as he sobbed the whole way back to his room. Slamming the door behind him, he let his tears fall freely and heavily. Feliciano was still there, and Ludwig was sitting with him. The brown haired man hurried over to him.

“Mattie! What’s wrong?”

Matthew threw his arms around Feliciano. “I need to see my brother! Ivan told me some terrible things!”

Ludwig stood up and walked over to them. “He told you everything, I see. I will take you to your brother.”

Matthew pulled away from Feli. “That’s what…Ivan said to do.” He held his stomach. “Oh gods…I’m going to be sick!” 

“Sh, stay calm, Mattie.” Feliciano rubbed his back. “Just calm down…breathe.”

Once the nausea passed, Matthew asked Ludwig to bring him to the dungeon. Feliciano went with them. As they arrived at the dungeon steps, Matthew had to hold his breath as he followed behind Ludwig. Nearing the cell, he reached out and took Feliciano’s hand in his for comfort. The other man squeezed his hand and held it tight, offering comfort. Ludwig stopped them both before a turn.

“Alfred’s cell is the very last one. Now he is badly beaten and you may not recognize him. Try to keep calm, and brace yourself for what you are about to see.”

Matthew nodded, swallowing hard and trying to be brave. Ludwig brought him to the front the cell. The moment Matthew looked in, his hands flew to his mouth at the sight. Alfred was chained to the wall, sitting slumped against the black stone. He was mostly naked save for a tattered tunic. His limbs were covered in blood, cuts, bruises, and dirt. Both his ankles were broken and swollen. The bandage around his eye was gone, showing both eyes closed but one swollen shut. He heard Feliciano cry out and hide his face in Ludwig’s side.

“Alfie…!” He choked out. 

The dungeon keeper opened the cell for him and Matthew took a trembling step forward. The stench of the place threatened to dull his senses. His brother stirred slightly in the chains and Matthew spoke his name. One blue eye opened to a slit and could go no further. 

“Mattie?”

“Alfie…what have they done to you?”

“…are you alright?” Alfred asked.

“I’m fine.” He couldn’t hold back his tears. He wanted to embrace his brother, and so he did, softly, as to not hurt him. Blood got on his white tunic but he didn’t care. Alfred smelt of blood and rot. “I have to get you out of here.”

“Ivan would…never allow it.” He said weakly. “He will kill me soon.”

“No! I won’t let him!” He pulled away and forced Alfred to look at him. “Ivan told me everything. Everything that happened. Please tell me it’s not true! Please!”

Alfred had to look away from his brother’s crying face. “It’s true.”

“ALFRED!” Matthew screamed his name in hurt and anger, backing away from him. “Why Alfred? Why? Why would you do something so horrible?”

“Mattie…just listen. I…I knew what was going to happen when we first arrived there. It was the plan all along. But it was not my plan…it was father’s.”

“Father’s?”

“I didn’t expect it to get so far…I was…shocked and afraid when everything started to happen. I didn’t know it would get to that point. I didn’t…do anything because…because I was scared. I hated myself for it. This was my test…father’s test for me. He said…” he looked back at Matthew. “He said if I were going to become the lord here I would have to be strong…but I didn’t think this was the way. Still…I did as I was told. I watched it all happen. I commanded the men. They still took it further, against my orders, but I’m sure they were acting under father’s commands first.”

Matthew sat back on the floor, completely stunned. “So then…everything that has happened-“

“Is my fault.” Alfred lowered his head. “Everything that’s happened to you is because of me. Ivan wants his revenge, and he’s getting it. He’s hurting you to get to me.”

“For how you hurt his sisters.”

“It wasn’t me! It was the others! But I did nothing to stop it. I know what I did was wrong. I regret it now, but there’s no going back. I can’t change the past. Oh Mattie…I’m so sorry! I never meant for anything like this to happen to you!”

Matthew squeezed his eyes shut. “But it happened! I’m forced into a marriage now because of your…your…cowardice! You were Ivan’s friend and you turned on him! Alfred, how could you do all this?”

“Stop it, Matthew!” He said through grit teeth. “Don’t you look down on me! You don’t know half of the shit I went through on a daily basis learning how to be a lord! I have something to prove! You don’t! My job is to protect you and this kingdom! I have consequences!”

“And you’re paying for them now!” Matthew cried. “None of this would have happened if you had only stood up for yourself and told father ‘no’.”

Alfred looked away again. “I can’t explain this to you, Mattie. You don’t understand politics and war like I do.”

“I’m not an idiot, Alfred. You and father never let me do anything…now look at me. I’m in a forced marriage to a cruel man who wants his revenge on you. My life can never be the same because you chose to gamble your own away. Damn it, Alfred!” Matthew rarely ever cursed. “You’re doing it again to me!”

“Doing what?”

“I get blamed for all your mistakes! I’m the one who suffers.”

“Hello!” He said with sarcasm. “I’m being tortured here, Matthew! I’m suffering pretty hard myself right now!”

Matthew lowered his head. “I’m sorry…that was wrong of me.” 

Alfred sneered and mumbled. “He’s not only marrying you or having sex with you to get back at me for what happened to his sister. You look a lot like me; mostly in the face. Ivan’s always wanted to be more than friends with me but I wouldn’t allow it. I don’t like him. I can’t lie to you, Mattie. I don’t like Ivan. I never did. I had to pretend to like him and pretend to want to be his friend. We have nothing in common, he and I.” 

“I don’t like him either…but I’m forced to be with him.”

“Then find a way to get Ivan to release me! Father was a hard man as well, but your words and actions always made him give in to you. Do the same with Ivan! Once I am out of here and well again,” he whispered the next part. “I’ll kill Ivan and you will be free.” 

Matthew was tired of death and killing. There was so much he didn’t know about his father and brother or the workings of their kingdom. He felt sick to his stomach. It was too much to take in all at once. 

“Mattie? Do you hate me now?” Matthew didn’t answer him. “Mattie…please, you’re all I have left in this world. I’d rather suffer like this over and over again just to keep you from hating me. I hate myself for what I’ve done…do you believe me?”

Matthew slowly nodded. “I do. This isn’t a simple little mistake you’ve made, Alfred. I can’t believe what I’m hearing is true.”

“I’m sorry, Mattie. The last person I’d ever want to hurt is you.”

“Well, you did.” He stood up slowly. “I will speak to Ivan about releasing you. Regardless of everything…you are still my big brother and I love you. I don’t want to see you suffering like this any longer. I’ll see what I can do.”

Without looking back he left the cell, ignoring Alfred’s calls to him. Ludwig and Feliciano were waiting at the end of the hall for him. Feliciano’s eyes were asking him if he was alright. Matthew wiped at his eyes and shook his head but said nothing. He asked Ludwig to escort him to Ivan and told Feliciano to return to his room. As he followed behind Ludwig he thought about the horrible acts Alfred had allowed to happen. He knew that Alfred was trying to prove himself, and yes, he understood that his brother was under a lot of pressure to be the best. As a lord, he would have to be strong in the eyes of others to ensure his title. Alfred felt guilty, and Matthew knew his brother was regretting what he had done. Yet that was still not a valid excuse for what he had allowed to happen to Ivan’s family and home. 

Now, how was he going to make a deal with Ivan to let Alfred go? His brother said that Ivan had actually loved him but he didn’t return the feelings. Ivan would never accept nor believe Alfred if he were say something like, ‘let’s be together’. There was nothing decent he could say about Alfred that would make Ivan want to release him. Still, he loved his brother and did not want to see him suffering any more. First, he will simply speak to Ivan about Alfred and then go from there. Ludwig opened the door for him when they reached the chamber and he thanked the blonde for his help. 

Ivan was still in bed but this time he was propped up eating some soup. His eyes focused on Matthew, seeing the blood spots on the white tunic. “Are you hurt?”

“No.” Matthew glided over to the fire. “It is Alfred’s blood.” ‘I must be strong.’ “I missed him so much I had to hug him.”

Ivan focused on his soup. “Did his appearance frighten you?”

“Yes.” He whispered. “And I’ve come to ask for his release.”

Ivan snorted out a laugh. “He’ll never leave that dungeon.”

Matthew turned to face him, standing in front of the fire. “He told me everything. All of your words were true, Ivan. I know that no amount of words could ever soothe your heart and soul for the terrible crimes inflicted upon you and your family. I cannot bring them back or else I would.” He folded his hands in front of him. “I also know that Alfred regrets what he did. He admitted to not stepping in when he had the chance too. He hates himself for it now.”

Ivan dropped the spoon in the bowl. “Then he should have stood up for my sister and protected her!”

“Yes, he should have.” Matthew looked down at the floor. “But I know my brother…he is terribly sorry for what he has done. I know he seeks you forgiveness.” 

“It will take much more than words to get me to forgive him. I will never forgive him.”

Matthew held back his sobs as he went over to the bed and fell to his knees beside it. “I know. Oh Ivan, I understand why you are doing all this! I understand you revenge now! But you achieved everything you wanted!” Matthew looked up at him with fresh tears. “You’ve broken my brother. You’ve killed my father. You’ve taken over my kingdom and castle. You’ve raped me. Our guards are killed or have been beaten into submission. Your revenge has been met. So please…let my brother go?”

Ivan glared at him. “I want Alfred to know what it feels like to lose everything!”

“And you’ve done it.” Matthew took Ivan’s free hand in both of his. “Two wrongs don’t make a right. You’ve punished Alfred for all that he has done. Your revenge has been met. You’ve won.”

“Mm. But if I let him go then he will want me to annul our marriage.”

‘Gods, give me strength.’ He pleaded. “I will continue to be married to you. I will be like my lady mother and you my lord husband. Alfred will have to do as I say. He owns nothing of this castle. I own it all with you. Your revenge has been met.” He stated again. “So please…I beg of you, let him go?”

Ivan looked at him, his sick eyes slightly wide in surprise. “You still wish to be married to me?”

“Father and brother wanted me to join the church, but I will stay here with you and be a true spouse.”

“Then Alfred must grovel himself to me and beg for my forgiveness. He is to become my slave until I see fit to change his punishment. He will pay for his crimes against my family. He must do everything and anything I ask of him or else he will find himself back in that dungeon without another chance. If he agrees to this, then he will be healed and put to work at my command.”

“S-Slave?” Matthew’s eyes widened in fear. “W-would you…make him sleep with you?”

“What makes you ask that?”

“Alfred told me that you loved him once, but he did not return your feelings.”

Ivan’s eyes narrowed, and then they softened. “Your brother is a bastard, Matthew.”

“He has done some horrible things, yes…but he is still my brother. I too am very upset with him knowing what he has done. But he is still my brother and I love him.”

Ivan covered his mouth to cough and then spoke. “Let me ask you this, Little Lamb. How would you punish Alfred if you were in my position?” He smiled cruelly. “What would you do?”

“I…I don’t know. I wouldn’t do what you are doing to him.”

“So? What would you do?”

He swallowed. “I would…keep him locked up for a long time.”

“That’s because you are very sweet.” He stroked Matthew’s hair. “You’re too sweet, Mattie. You could never run a castle or lands. Others would eat you right up.” He pat the spot beside him and Matthew sat there. “My sweet Little Lamb.” He stroked the soft cheek. “I have never seen you smile.”

“…there is little for me to smile about, my lord.” He replied softly.

“There is me. Will you smile for me?” 

Matthew tried, but he couldn’t. Instead, he cried silent tears. 

Ivan stared at him, watching those tears fall and for the first time he was reminded of his older sister. She always cried; she was a crybaby. Matthew was the same, only his reasons for crying are much different. He hated to see his sister cry, and now he was starting to feel the same way about Matthew. “Mattie, please, don’t cry.”

“I can’t help it.” He whispered. “Everything is turned upside down. I’m scared.”

Ivan pulled the other close. “You don’t have to be afraid of me so long as you’re a good boy.”

Matthew nodded. “I know.”

“Now kiss me. Kiss your lord husband.” Despite still feeling ill, he still lusted for Matthew. He wanted to taste that sweet body again. Only this time, he did not want to do it maliciously. Matthew was always silent, soft spoken, and acted shyly at all times. He paused when Matthew did as he was told, gently pressing those trembling lips against his own. He could feel he still had a fever, but it wasn’t stopping his growing erection, which he let Matthew feel. 

“Ah…!” He gasped softly, feeling the hard organ poking his thigh. 

“Matthew, look at me.” Matthew did so. “I raped you to get back at your brother, but I will not rape you this time. This time, I want you to feel pure hot pleasure.” He pushed the shocked young man on his back and loomed above him. “You tremble so sweetly.” He smiled.

“I’m scared.”

“I will be gentle this time, Mattie.” He pressed his groin against Matthew’s clothed one, hearing the other gasp out softly. He let one hand slip between Matthew’s legs to rub the cleft of that pert bottom, searching for his entrance. Matthew was whimpering loudly and shrieked when his finger found the clothed hole and pushed. 

Matthew blushed hotly, closing his eyes as he felt Ivan’s breath on his ear. Now the finger was moving; it was rubbing softly and adding gentle pressure. He panted weakly, finding that he did not mind the touch so much.

Ivan whispered in his ear. “I don’t just want to fuck you, Mattie. I want to make love to you.” He stroked the hole. “You’re so sweet and cute…I want to make you cry out in wanton lust and beg for me to take you.” He forced the other’s sweet, blushing face to look at his. Matthew was panting against his lips. “I want to see tears of pleasure on these cheeks instead. You’re like an angel…wanting to protect everyone. Well now you are my angel.” He started to remove Matthew’s tunic.

“Ivan…” He gasped when Ivan’s hot hand pinched his nipple. He arched into the touch.

“You liked that, didn’t you?”

Matthew thought back to that horrible night when Ivan took him by force and he couldn’t see the man being ‘gentle’ as he claimed. However, he was too frightened to tell Ivan ‘no’ or ‘stop’, in fear of risking his brother’s freedom. Defeated, Matthew lay back and let Ivan do as he wished with his body. Once he was fully naked, Ivan had set to planting tiny kisses all along his body. The kisses tickled, especially the ones down by his inner thighs. Matthew continued to keep his eyes closed but allowed for tiny little mews to slip out from between his lips. At the moment, the feelings were not entirely unpleasant. 

“My Little Lamb is too small.” Ivan said while running his hands up Matthew’s sides.

“I’ve always been like this.” Matthew whispered.

Ivan gently nipped atop the belly button. “But it makes you all the more precious.”

Ivan kept true to his promise about being ‘gentle’. Matthew moaned and cried out softly with each touch or kiss against his skin. Unlike before, his body was reacting to Ivan’s touches, and it was even craving more of it. Ivan was handling him so carefully it was hard to believe that this was the same man from their wedding night. He panicked when Ivan’s lubed fingers entered him but with a small passionate kiss upon his lips his body willingly opened up. Matthew gripped the sheets and panted when Ivan’s large fingers pressed and stroked against that special spot within him. Even though some part of him did not want this because of the horrible things Ivan has done, that little nub inside of him had the power to change all of that. It was like his mind and his body were two different people, and his body was winning. But when he felt the tip of Ivan’s member pressing against him he let out a cry of fear and his body tensed up.

“Shh, relax Little Lamb.” Ivan said softly, stroking the light blonde hair. “I’m going slow this time. It will still hurt a little at first and will get better the more we lay together.” He placed Matthew’s small arms around him. “Bear it for a little bit. Don’t hold back your voice if it still hurts.”

The pain of entry was bearable this time yet it still brought tears to his eyes. He whimpered and cried out a little, but when Ivan bent him further at the waist it eased the pressure. The rest of Ivan slid inside with little restraint. Matthew held on to the other, panting heavily as his muscles adjusted to the large organ inside of him. 

“Tell me when you’re ready.” He whispered in Matthew’s ear. “I’ll wait.”

Matthew did make him wait, if not for his body then for his own beating heart. Finally, he nodded against Ivan’s shoulder and the thrusting began. It was slow at first until his muscles loosened up, and that’s when the heavy thrusting started. Matthew wasn’t crying out in pain in this time. Ivan’s member struck that spot so frequently that it made his entire body tingle, especially his lower belly. A few times he felt his eyes roll back in his head at particularly hard thrusts angled just right. His mind shut down and he let himself become lost in the pleasure, arching against Ivan’s body. But Ivan’s weight upon him and the now painful angle of his waist threatened to ruin the act so he asked Ivan to stop. And he did.

Panting, Matthew said “I’m…cramping this way. It hurts my back.” Would Ivan be angry at him?

“We’ll flip you over then. It will be much easier that way.” 

Slowly he pulled out and helped flip Matthew over. He lifted the smaller man’s waist and positioned himself again, slipping inside easily. Although Matthew’s muscles had opened up to him, his Little Lamb was still preciously tight around his cock. He started the heavy thrusting once more, grinning when he heard Matthew’s pleasured cries. They were music to his ears. He loved the way Matthew wailed and moaned in pleasure. Seeing this wanton sight of the normally shy and quiet man was truly a sight to behold, and it was only for him. The thought of someone else taking Matthew like this brought forth a growl from his throat and he gave a hard thrust, deep thrust. Matthew cried out, with the hint of pain in it. For a second he feared Matthew would tell him to stop. Instead, those slim hips and narrow backside were thrusting back against him. Ivan gave a crooked smile of surprise and thrust again. Matthew’s body wanted more, and so Ivan delivered. After a few more of those thrusts he heard Matthew’s strangled cry of release and felt the muscles clench around him. Ivan wasn’t far behind and came inside. 

Matthew remained in the same position while Ivan was pulling out, still in the afterglow of orgasm. He couldn’t believe that ‘making love’ could feel that good. It wasn’t anything like their wedding night at all. 

“Matthew? Are you alright?”

“Yes.” He whispered out. “Did I…please you?” He slowly sat up.

Ivan smiled. “Very much so. I loved that side of you, Little Lamb.” Matthew blushed and shied away. “Show it to no one other than me.”

“But…what if our castle is raided again and someone tries to take me? Will you be angry at me if that happens?”

Ivan raised a brow. “That is a very odd question. Being taken by force and doing it for fun are two different things entirely. No one will ever touch you so long as I’m around.” He pulled Matthew into a hug. “You are my lover. My wife. It will be my duty to protect and care for you.”

Matthew gently hugged him back. He liked this Ivan more than the brutal one. “What do we do now?”

Ivan chuckled. “Well, I think I did too much while still running a fever.” He pulled away to wipe at his brow. 

“Should I get the doctor?”

“No. Get Ludwig for me instead. He and I have some arrangements to make concerning your brother.”

Matthew nodded and slipped off the bed to quickly dress. He knew Ivan was watching him and once again Ludwig’s words repeated in his head. ‘Kindness’. Once he was dressed, he turned back to Ivan and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. “Feel better, my lord husband. I will find Ludwig as quickly as I can.”

Ivan smiled and stroked Matthew’s cheek with the back of his hand. “Thank you, Little Lamb.”

Matthew wanted to hurry but the slight ache in his backside prevented that. It was a pleasant soreness this time, although Ivan’s essence was still dripping out of him. It made him blush and feel slightly ashamed. He’d have Feliciano help clean him up again. Yet he wasn’t prepared for the sight that greeted him when he entered his room. Feliciano was up against the wall with his limbs wrapped around a man who was unmistakably Ludwig. Matthew ‘eeped’ and covered his eyes immediately. He heard Feliciano yelp as well along with Ludwig’s curse.

“Mattie!” Feliciano blushed furiously as he tried to pull his tunic down over his crotch. 

“Don’t you knock?” Ludwig hissed, blushing angrily as he was forced to stuff himself back into his pants.

“But…this is my room.” Matthew answered.

Ludwig gave a frustrated sigh. “Of course it is. Oh for heaven’s sake, lower your hands!” He shouted at Matthew.

Matthew lowered them and stood up straight at Ludwig’s tone. “I’m sorry for…interrupting. Lord Ivan wishes to see you, Ludwig.”

Ludwig looked at Feli who gave a pout but nodded. “Come to my room tonight if you can.” He commanded firmly and left the room.

Matthew locked the door behind him. “Feli?” He said in a gasp. “When did you get with Ludwig?”

“Sometime after that night of the raid.” Feliciano folded his hands behind his back, appearing bashful. “Ludwig stopped those guards from raping me any further. He chased them all off and after that…well…he’s just so big and strong with lots of muscles!”

Matthew couldn’t help but smile at his friend’s happiness. “I’m happy for you, Feli. So long as he treats you well, that is. Now put some pants on.”  
Later in the evening, Feliciano had helped Matthew clean himself up and ordered their dinner. It had grown dark quickly and another rainstorm patted heavily against the glass. Feliciano helped him into his bed clothes and started to get into his own. Matthew stopped him from his place on the bed. 

“What are you doing?”

“Veh?” he chuckled. “I’m getting ready for bed.”

“But…don’t you want to go to Ludwig’s room?”

Feliciano smiled at his friend. “No, it’s okay. It’s my duty to stay with you and that’s just what I plan to do! Ludwig can wait until tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Feli. I really can’t remember a night when we haven’t shared this bed…except for my wedding night.”

Feliciano got into bed beside him. “Well, we’ve been doing it since we were children! Remember that time we were telling spooky stories under the sheets with the lantern?”

Matthew chuckled. “Yes, and then the bed sheets caught on fire! We were almost burned.”

“Lesson learned! We never did that again.” There was a crash of thunder and he yelped. “Too many storms!”

“I know.” He yawned. “Let’s go to sleep.” They both blew out their beside lanterns and settled under the sheets. “I hope my brother is freed tomorrow.”

Feliciano rests his head on his folded arms. “Do you think Alfred will accept being a…slave?”

Matthew rolled onto his side to face his friend. “I don’t know. You saw how badly he was injured.”

“Poor Alfred…but I can’t believe he did all those things. I’m sure glad I’m not a noble.”

Matthew smiled sadly. “I know why Alfred did it…and he knows he did wrong. If he didn’t regret what he did…then I don’t know how I’d feel about him. Does that make me a bad person, Feli?”

“You? Never. That doesn’t make you a bad person. Alfred would be the bad one for taking pleasure in all that. So much has happened in the last few days that sometimes I find it hard to believe. But you said Ivan was gentle with you tonight?”

“Yes. Very gentle.” He blushed. “I…I even enjoyed it. I saw a different side to Ivan tonight and I think…I think I’m going to work hard to keep that side of him showing. It will be better for all of us that way.”

Feli smiled at him. “If anyone can tame that wild beast it’s you, Mattie!”

“I’m nothing special. I never was. I was always ignored as a boy, you know that.”

“I never ignored you.”

“I know, and I thank you for that every day.”

Feliciano cleared his throat. “So did you…you know…”

Matthew raised a thin brow. “Did I what?”

He blushed. “With Ivan. Did you…you know!”

Matthew thought for a moment, realized what Feli was asking, and let out a giggle. “Yes. For real this time.” He swallowed hard. “You?” Feliciano held up three fingers. Matthew’s eyes widened. “Wow.” It sent them both in to a fit of soft giggles. 

“It’s nice to hear you laughing again, Mattie.” Feliciano said softly.

“I haven’t had anything to laugh about.” He replied. “To be honest…I feel guilty for giggling just then.”

“Why?”

“Because I think of my brother…and my father…”

Feliciano reached his hand out and took Matthews. “This was all your father’s doing. He set up the plan and made Alfred carry it out. Your father did something brutal and in turn he was attacked for it. This happens all the time.”

“But never here.” He said sadly. “Sometimes I miss father…and other times I don’t. I care more for you than my own father.”

“And you’re not a bad person for that, Mattie. I guess…the only thing we can do is try to make the best of our situation. You can tame Ivan and your brother is getting a second chance. You’ve done everything that you can. You should be proud of yourself, Mattie. Think about that.” He rolled over to snuggle into the pillow. “Goodnight Mattie.”

“Goodnight Feli. Sleep well.”

Matthew stared at the ceiling, listening to the rainstorm outside. Feliciano was right. He was doing everything that he could to help himself and his brother. Ivan was a different man tonight by caring for his comfort. Still, there was the fear of what Ivan would do to his brother once Alfred became the ‘slave’. 

‘Can I really tame Ivan’s cruel side? Can I help to stop his hatred for my brother?’

Without finding a solution, Matthew let the sound of the rain lull him off into sleep.

End Chapter 3 TBC


	4. Chapter 4

***Warnings: Violence, language, fluff  
***Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I am making no money off of this fic.

Chapter 4

A full day had passed with no word of his brother’s answer to Ivan’s terms. Matthew was forbidden to see Alfred again until his brother gave an answer. Wondering about Alfred in that cell left his nerves on edge and his fingernails chewed down to the skin. The only place he felt happy and secure was in the stables with the animals. The rain had finally stopped, so he and Feliciano were spending the early morning hours in the stables with the horses. A new colt had been born and Matthew was eager to meet it, swiftly becoming friends. The mare allowed Matthew to play with and hold the colt in her presence. He had yet to name the young horse. 

“Mattie,” Feliciano started, holding a newborn lamb “Are you feeling okay?”

“Of course. Why? Do I look ill?”

“No, not at all.” Feliciano kissed the top of the lamb’s head. “You haven’t eaten your food, only drank your special mixture, and took very little sips of water. It’s not healthy for you, Mattie.”

Matthew stroked the colt’s skinny neck. “I’m fine, Feli. Thank you for your concern.”

Feliciano frowned. “Is it…because of Alfred?”

He was silent at first, and then nodded. “He has not answered Ivan’s request. I fear that soon…I will be burying my brother!” With tears in his eyes, he pulled the colt in to his lap, holding the small head. “If Ivan will even let me bury him. I have no qualms about begging.”

“Alfred would rather suffer than become a slave to Ivan. He has too much pride.”

Matthew nodded with a sad smile. “You speak the truth, my friend. It is what I fear the most. I do blame my father for all this.”

Feliciano placed the lamb on the floor. “Why?”

“He fed in to my brother’s ego and pride. He helped to make Alfred the man he is now…all the while-“

“Ignoring you.” Feliciano finished for him. “If I may be so bold, Mattie…you’re a much better person than Alfred.”

Matthew turned to him. “That is very bold of you.”

Feliciano smiled. “Do you believe this to be true?” Matthew didn’t answer. “You know…Ludwig asked me to go away with him.”

Matthew gasped, standing up to face his childhood friend and groom. “Go away? Where? Why?” He had lost so much already that he couldn’t lose his best friend too.

Feliciano just smiled sweetly and shook his head. “I told him ‘no’.”

“You did?”

“Yes.” He gave a nod. “I wanted to…but you need me here and I can’t leave you.”

Matthew frowned, saddened but flattered. “Feli, you have been such a good friend to me and a wonderful companion. Please, do not set aside your own chance at happiness for the misfortune of mine.”

Feliciano smiled happily and gave Matthew a tight hug. “Veh~! I won’t ever leave you, Mattie! Ludwig will be granted a castle of his own soon. I told him that I will not leave you, and I mean that. If he wants me then he can stay here, or come to visit. Ludwig accepted these terms.”

Matthew let out a laugh of relief. “Thank the Gods! I couldn’t lose you too. I will have to thank Ludwig later.” He hugged his friend. 

“So very sweet.”

Both Feliciano and Matthew turned around at the sound of Ivan’s voice. Feliciano immediately bowed and Matthew just stared at the man. 

“It’s nice to have friends.” Ivan said with a smile. “But I must speak with Matthew alone, if you’ll excuse us, Feli?”

Feliciano looked to Matthew who only nodded. The brown haired man hurried past Ivan. 

“Did my brother say anything yet?”

Ivan shook his head. “Not a word.” He strolled up to Matthew, pulling him out of the stable stall. “I do have some…upsetting news.”

Matthew clenched his eyes shut. “Must I hear it?”

“You must.” Ivan tilted the other’s chin to force their eyes to meet. “Your brother does not want to be my slave. I gave him three options. The first, of course, is further torture. The second, be my slave. The third?” He smirked. “Having him pleasure you in all ways possible with me to watch.”

Matthew’s jaw dropped in shock and he took a step back from Ivan. “You’re crazy! Alfred would never agree to-“

“The third one? You see, Little Lamb, that’s where you’re wrong. He was considering that option over the other two. Yes, your big brother would rather fuck you behind closed doors than become my slave.”

Matthew slapped him. Not hard enough to leave a mark or a sting, but enough to show his displeasure. “You’re lying.”

Ivan, surprised by the slap, only smiled down at the smaller man trying to look fierce. Matthew failed miserably. “I’m not. I grew very angry when I saw him considering the third option. He is a coward, your darling big brother.”

“No, he’s not a coward. You have tortured him brutally, and anyone would choose an option that wasn’t torture!” 

Ivan raised a brow. “I don’t like how you are looking at me right now, Little Lamb. I told you of your brother’s crimes, this is his punishment. He is being stubborn.”

“I know that. Alfred has always been stubborn, but he would never dishonor me in such a way. Please, do not speak of such an option again.”

Ivan smirked. “You still think of your brother as a good person?”

Matthew nodded. “He has made some mistakes, yes, but we all have. Even you.” He saw the sudden look of anger on Ivan’s face and he cowered. “If you will let me speak to my brother then I can help persuade him.”

“No. I don’t want you anywhere near Alfred. He will make a decision or it will be made for him. I grow impatient.”

Matthew looked up at him through pale blonde lashes. “Will you force him to be your slave and hurt him further?”

“Alfred is my property and prisoner. I can do with him as a I wish.”

‘Just like I am your prisoner.’ Matthew said to himself. “I just want my brother to be well. That is all I ask for.”

“That’s all?”

“Yes, but I know it is a wish that will never come true.”

Ivan searched the pale violet eyes for a moment and saw the defeated sorrow behind them. He felt a small twinge of guilt. “I see. Good day to you, Matthew. I will see you tonight at dinner in my chambers.”

Ivan left the stables, grumbling under his breath. That meeting with Matthew did not go as planned. His ‘wife’ stood up to him in a manner fitting of a young lord. Matthew cared deeply about his brother, and for some odd reason that information angered him. The truth was, Matthew had known Alfred all his life while he had only known Ivan for a few days. Of course Matthew would care more for his brother, but it made him feel jealous. Once again, Alfred was coming out on top. Ivan had loved him, once. His older sister had loved him. His people loved him. Matthew loves him. 

It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fair! Ivan had to work hard to make friends, even more so to keep them. Alfred made everyone smile, while he had everyone hating him in one way or another. He couldn’t let Alfred win! He just couldn’t! The only way to get back at Alfred was through his younger brother. If he could make Matthew love him more than Alfred it would break the bastard’s heart. He was not lying when he told Matthew about Alfred considering performing incest between them. It made him wonder if Alfred didn’t harbor a dark secret of his own. It would kill Matthew to know the truth. True or not, Ivan could still win Matthew’s heart and even attempt to turn the brothers against each other. If Alfred really did love Matthew as more than a brother, then the bastard would finally understand what it is like to lose everything you love. 

But how to win Matthew’s heart? He had raped his Little Lamb and forced him in to marriage. Matthew is terrified of him. There has to be something he could do to make Matthew love him. He wanted to see the young man smile, a true smile. He wanted Matthew healthy, not skinny and weak. What would make Matthew happy? Ivan then caught sight of Feliciano heading back into the stables, and he grinned. Matthew’s groom would know what he liked! He would summon the groom to his chambers and probe for answers. Feliciano was just as weak and timid as Matthew, so getting information should be easy.

///

Feliciano took a deep breath and knocked on Ivan’s chamber door. What did the new lord want to see him about? He was afraid to be here alone but could not deny the call of his lord. Ivan voice told him to come in, so he did. “You wanted to see me, my lord?” He squeaked out.

“Yes, please, come in. Make yourself comfortable.” He motioned towards the chair by the fire. Feliciano took the seat offered. “I wish to speak with you about Matthew.”

“Matthew? Okay. What do you want to ask?”

Ivan smiled. “You spend a lot of time with him, yes?”

Feliciano’s hands began to tremble in his lap. “Y-yes, I do. Ever since we were little boys. Please, my lord, I am just his groom! My job is to care for him and keep him safe whilst in his chambers! We are only friends!”

Ivan gave a great laughed. “Silly little Feli! Of course I know that. That is not what I want to ask. I want you to remain Matthew’s groom and continue to be his friend.”

“I will.” Feliciano smiled. “Thank you, my lord. I’ll be going now!” He was anxious to get away.

“Wait, I’m not finished yet. I need your help.”

“Mine?” Feliciano blinked in confusion. 

“Yes. You see, I want to make Matthew happy. I want to please him. You are his groom and best friend, so surely you would know what I can do to please him. What does he like? What activities does he prefer? Does he like gifts?”

Feliciano wasn’t expecting this. “Um…well…to be honest with you, Lord Ivan…Matthew doesn’t have much. He’s lived a very sheltered life due to his brother and father. They rarely let him do anything.”

Ivan stood in front of the fire. “So they kept him from doing things?”

He nodded. “Matthew was never allowed to ride horses and he has always wanted too. He is the second born and often ignored. Alfred always received the best of everything; parties, gifts, activities, travel, everything. Matthew was kept sheltered and lonely, often forgotten. The people usually called him ‘The Forgotten Brother’. “

“So what can I do to appease Matthew? What would make him happy?”

“Well, he’s always wanted a pet. One that he could keep indoors in his room, but his father would not permit it.”

“What kind of pet?”

“Matthew loves animals, so a dog, cat, bird, anything like that.” Feliciano smiled. “Will you get him one?”

Ivan winked. “I may. And you mentioned about riding, correct? If I got him his own horse and took him riding, you think he would enjoy it?”

“Oh, very much so!” Feliciano’s eyes lit up and he clapped his hands together. “He would cry tears of joy! My Mattie will be forever grateful and happy if you give him what his father would not.” 

“That is easily given. However, Matthew did say he liked to live modestly.”

“Only because he had nothing. Alfred had the best of everything, and he wouldn’t always share with Matthew. He would like to be spoiled, if only to see what it feels like.”

“Spoil him, hm?” Ivan stroked his chin. “Thank you for your input, Feliciano. You are dismissed.”

Ivan wasn’t entirely sure that he could buy Matthew’s affection, but he could help their relationship along. It would drive Alfred mad knowing that his baby brother was falling in love with the enemy. If he could somehow turn the brothers against each other he would gain more than just the castle and lands; he would have fully destroyed Alfred’s life and pride. 

‘Hmm…maybe it’s time I allow Matthew to talk with his brother. I can’t have that bastard dying before I get to have my full revenge. And that will keep Matthew busy while I buy him a few little things…and present them to him in front of Alfred.’ Ivan grinned darkly. “You will pay dearly for all you have done, Alfred. Everything you love will be mine.”

///

Matthew bravely entered the dungeon, all alone, under the command of Ivan to speak to his brother. He was glad to have a chance to see Alfred, and hopefully talk some sense in to the stubborn man. Matthew prayed, by some chance, that Alfred would look better this time around and not beaten bloody. A prison guard saw him and bowed immediately. 

“Lord Matthew. This is no place for you.”

“I understand that, but I’m here on Lord Ivan’s orders. I wish to see my brother.”

The guard stood up and gave him a worried look. “Forgive me, your grace, but the prisoner Alfred is still…perhaps you could come back later?”

Matthew’s brows furrowed. “I think I know what you are saying.” He took a deep breath. “I will remain here until my brother is brought back.” 

“Gentle master,” the guard bowed again “You don’t belong here. Please go back up to the castle and I will send someone to fetch you when your brother returns.”

“I appreciate your consideration, but I will wait here.” It was worth a try. After all, Ivan was his husband and that entitled him to some authority. He took another deep breath. “I would like to see my brother now. Tell the torturer that his job is done for today.”

The guard looked up at him. “Only Master Ivan can make that decision.”

“Master Ivan is not here. Currently, he is not at the castle, so I am regent while he’s gone. I would like to see my brother.” That wasn’t so bad?

“Yes, my lord. Wait a moment.” 

Matthew was standing in wait for a long while, listening to the rattling of chains and the slamming of doors. He was beginning to grow impatient. Finally, the guard came back and led him to Alfred’s cell, where his brother remained in chains. Alfred looked the same as he did the last time, but it appeared to him that these guards tried to clean his brother up a bit. Most likely to appease him. Matthew thanked the guard and had him open the cell before asking to be alone. The guard was reluctant to do so, but Matthew politely assured him that he would be fine and would call if he needed anything. 

Finally alone with his brother, Matthew knelt beside the beaten man. Alfred looked exhausted, and barely held the appearance of the brother he knew. He stroked the swollen cheek and whispered Alfred’s name.

“Mattie…?”

“I’m here, brother.” Matthew said softly. “I’m right here.”

“Is this a dream?”

“No, it’s not. I really am here. Look at what they’ve done to you…” He played with the cowlick on Alfred’s head. All of Alfred’s wheat colored hair was damp with sweat and blood. “Why do you continue to let yourself suffer like this?”

Alfred opened one eye to barely a slit. “I will not be his slave…” 

“Then Ivan will likely let you die here. Is this how you want to be remembered? A defeated warrior laying in a pile of his own filth and blood?”

“You would…have me lower myself to the likes of him?”

Matthew closed his eyes. “Don’t do it for him. Do it for me?”

Alfred couldn’t see very well yet he could make out the blurred form of his little brother. “I will still be a slave.”

“But you will soon be healthy enough to fight back.” Matthew whispered. “Please, think about it.” He wanted to stay longer but the sight and stench of Alfred’s body upset his already weak stomach. He stood up to leave.

“Don’t go!” Alfred gasped out, raising a hand out to his brother. 

Matthew crouched back down to his brother’s side. “Your stubbornness upsets me, Alfie. This isn’t like when we were little…this is serious. Alfie, you are all I have left in this world…I don’t want to lose you.” He wiped the tears from his eyes. “Why do you value your pride over your brother?”

“I am the true Lord of this castle…not Ivan. I have to regain this castle and my title-“

“Then become Ivan’s slave until you are healthy and strong again. I am doing my part, so you should do yours.” He stood up to leave again, this time walking to the door before Alfred’s voice stopped him again.

“I don’t want you to be with him.” 

Matthew wouldn’t look back. “Well…I don’t really have a choice. You saw to that. Please, think it over.”

He left Alfred in silence of the cell once more.

///

A day later…

“I wonder what Ivan wants me to see?” Matthew asked Feliciano as the groom finished lacing up the front of the cream colored tunic. 

“I was told it’s a secret.” Feliciano answered. “That’s what Ludwig said.”

Matthew sat on the vanity stool while Feliciano began to brush out the knots in his pale blonde hair. “Do you think Alfred’s come to his senses? Ow!”

“Sorry! I don’t know…maybe.”

He glanced at his friend through the mirror. “Feli? Can I ask you something? But it can’t leave this room!”

“What is it?”

Matthew licked his lips. “I need your honest opinion. Ivan told me…well…he told me something that…really bothered me, about Alfred.” 

“What did he say?”

“When he was giving Alfred options to leave the torture chamber, one of the options was to…watch him with me and that was the only option my brother actually considered.”

Feliciano raised a thin brow. “I don’t understand?”

Matthew blushed, slightly annoyed that he had to say it again. “Ivan said…that Alfred considered doing…you know…that thing with me while he watched. Instead of being a slave or being put to death.”

“Huh?” Feliciano was still confused, but when he saw Matthew’s cheeks brighten he realized what it meant. “WHAT?!” He dropped the brush onto Matthew’s head. “SORRY!”

Matthew rubbed the spot on his head. “That hurt!”

“Mattie, that’s…that’s just silly! Alfred would never do that to you. He doesn’t have those sorts of feelings!”

“But Ivan said he considered it! Alfred considered it and then Ivan grew angry!” He turned around to look at his friend. “I think that…Alfred only said it because he wants to get out of that cell…but why would he want to dishonor me and our family name by doing such…vulgar things? If his pride was true, he would accept being Ivan’s slave instead.”

Feliciano went back to brushing Matthew’s hair. “Have you confronted Alfred on this? When you went to see him?”

“No. I was too embarrassed.” 

“Mattie, you can’t trust Ivan says knowing how much he hates your brother.”

“But…what if it IS true?” His eyes welled with tears. “What if Ivan forces that on me and Alfred agreed?”

Feliciano smiled softly. “Mattie, it won’t happen. Even if it were the chosen option, Alfred would not follow through with it. Ivan is saying those things to hurt you.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I do.” He placed the pearl circlet atop of Matthew’s head. “There. You’re ready!” 

They waited for Ludwig to come and escort them to the throne room where Ivan would be waiting. Matthew’s fear grew the closer they got to the room, wondering what it was Ivan planned to show him. He hoped it was his brother, alive. Feliciano entered with him and Ludwig shadowed their steps. Everyone present in the room were Ivan’s men and a few of their servants. Ivan sat upon his father’s throne with someone on the floor next to him. Matthew saw that it was Alfred.

His brother was wrapped in multiple bandages, mainly around his face, neck, chest, and shoulders. Only one eye was visible, the other sporting a small blood spot on the bandage. He was dressed in a thin, tattered old tunic and nothing else. On his feet were splints wrapped tightly with rope to heal his broken ankles. Around his neck was a leather belt, and in the center a metal loop that was attached to a chain. It was Ivan who held the chain, as if Alfred were a dog. It broke Matthew’s heart to see his brother being treated as such, but at least he was out of the dungeon and could get well. 

“Mattie, my Little Lamb.” Ivan greeted him with a fond smile. “You look beautiful today.”

Matthew bowed. “Thank you, my lord.” 

“Come sit beside me.” He motioned to the smaller chair. “I have some gifts to give you.”

Matthew looked at Alfred, who was staring at him with one blue eye looking fierce. He wondered if Alfred was angry with him? But he couldn’t ignore Ivan’s command, so he joined his husband on the dais and sat in the chair beside him. “Gifts, my lord?”

Ivan smiled. “Yes. Gifts. Surely you’ve received gifts before?” Ivan tugged a little on Alfred’s chain.

“Well…yes.” Matthew answered softly. “But only on my birthday.”

“It doesn’t have to be your birthday to receive gifts.” Ivan took Matthew’s hand and kissed the top. “I know how much you love animals, and this first gift, I hope it is something you’ll love.” He turned to Ludwig. “Bring in the first gift.”

‘The first gift?’ Matthew wondered. ‘Just how many gifts do I have?’

Ludwig came back with a small golden puppy in his arms. It was squirming around but its tail was wagging happily, along with excited little ‘yips’. 

Matthew’s jaw dropped when Ludwig handed him the puppy. “T-This is for me?” The puppy climbed up his chest to lick at his face. It made Matthew giggle.

“Yes, that is your puppy. You may name him and keep him in your chambers. He is your puppy. You see, Ludwig has many dogs and he breeds them. He was delighted to offer you one of his.”

Matthew hugged the puppy. “Thank you, Ludwig. Thank you, husband! I’ve never had a real pet before that wasn’t a barn animal!” 

Ivan clapped his hands. “Bring in the next gift.”

Matthew had to hand the puppy over to Feliciano as he received his next gift, which was a simple red songbird. It sat on a white wood perch in a white cage. It sang a little tune, almost as if in greeting to Matthew. Matthew was ready to cry tears of joy as a servant presented the cage to him. He held the cage by the loop at the top to gaze at the bird. “He is beautiful! Does he have a name?”

Ivan shook his head. “You may name him and keep him in your chambers as well. I still have more gifts to give you. This next one is not an animal, but I believe it is something you will love.” A servant came up to take the bird away while another handed Matthew a small bottle of liquid. “It is Lily of the Valley water. It’s flower extract. Smell it.”

Matthew opened the cork and sniffed the bottle. It was a light fragrance, but he liked it. “Thank you, husband. It smells pretty.”

“And now for your last gift. I saved the best for last.”

Matthew held his breath, fearing that it had something to do with his brother. Instead, the neighing of a horse filled the room as Ludwig led one inside. The horse was cream colored with a white mane and tail. Matthew couldn’t believe it! Ivan was giving him a horse? A real horse? Only Alfred was ever allowed to own a horse or ride one! His father would never let him ride a horse, only a few short times on a pony. He had always wanted a horse like his brother, and now he had one! Matthew’s hands flew to his mouth. He was speechless. 

“Do you like her?” Ivan asked. 

“I…I don’t know what to say.” Matthew whispered. “I never…had a horse of my own before.”

Ivan’s smile widened. “Well, now you do. I can teach you how to ride, and then we can go on rides together.” He motioned to the mare. “Go to her. She is very gentle and friendly.”

Matthew did so, slowly walking up to the mare and petting her nose. She nudged his hand and Matthew brought her head into a hug. Her tail swished and her front hoof clomped on the floor. Matthew stroked her strong neck. “She’s beautiful!”

“She is yours to name and own.” Ivan said proudly. 

“Thank you, Ivan.” Matthew said fondly when he turned to look at him. 

Alfred knew Matthew couldn’t hear him, so angrily, he spoke to Ivan. “You can’t win him over with gifts.” 

Ivan gave a dark smirk. “Little doggies shouldn’t be talking.” 

Alfred glared at Ivan before turning his attention back to Matthew who was still admiring the horse. Alfred knew which route Ivan was trying to take, it was simple to figure out. He would just have to remind Matthew how evil Ivan really is. And he knew just the way to do it. “Didn’t you gift me a horse like that one?”

Ivan frowned. “Stop talking.”

It was working. “Still trying to make me jealous?”

“I’m warning you!” Ivan growled.

Alfred smirked, ready for the pain that was sure to come. “You lost your home because you were soft. Gifts don’t win a war.” Ivan didn’t move, so Alfred continued. “You can’t ‘buy’ friends or lovers, Ivan. You tried that with me, remember?”

“Stop it.”

“You were so jealous of your big sister because she had my affection without the use of gifts. She wasn’t so easily duped as you were. You’re just a big bully; a poor loser and a desperate man looking for any signs of friendship. It’s pathetic.” 

Ivan let out a vicious battle cry of rage, knocking over the throne as he shot up from his seat. He gave Alfred’s chain a hard yank, nearly whip-lashing the bound man. People in the court started to panic. The mare got spooked and reared. Ivan broke off the leg of the throne, forced Alfred on the floor, and began to beat him with the club of wood.

“STOP IT!” Matthew screamed. “STOP IT, IVAN! STOP!” He ran up the dais in a frantic attempt to stop the beating. Fearlessly, he threw himself into Ivan yet succeeded only in bouncing off of him. The man was far too large and heavy for his meek little body to knock over. Ivan was still beating his brother, almost as if he didn’t even feel Matthew’s attack. “PLEASE STOP!” He begged, hearing the shrill cries of pain from his brother’s already raw throat. Panicking, Matthew did the only thing he could, and that was to block any more oncoming blows from Ivan’s weapon. It all happened so quickly. His body covered Alfred’s, the club came down, it knocked the breath out of him and froze the scream of pain. 

Ivan paused in the next swing, gasping when he saw that he had accidently struck Matthew in Alfred’s place. Matthew’s form was trembling from the pain as his lips struggled to cry out. Ivan’s own hand trembled, forcing him to drop the club behind him to bounce off the steps. What had he done? He saw those pale violet eyes look up at him with pain, distrust, betrayal, and hurt. Those eyes were asking him ‘why’. Carefully as he could, he picked Matthew up in his arms, cradling him. Ignoring Alfred, he hurried down the dais steps all the while feeling his guilt level rising with each whimpering cry from Matthew. The man was in a lot of pain; Ivan knew he could hit hard. It was all that bastard Alfred’s fault! He turned back to look at Alfred, who was on his belly but wore a victorious smirk on his bandaged face. Ivan’s eyes met with Ludwig, silently telling the guard ‘you know what to do’. 

Ludwig bowed and moved towards Alfred. 

Ivan left the room with Matthew still cradled in his arms.

By the time they got to Ivan’s chambers, Matthew was able to regain his breath and could speak. “Why?” He whispered. “Why?”

“He angered me!” Ivan carefully placed Matthew on his bed, rolling him over onto his belly. “I never meant to hit you.”

Matthew squeezed his eyes shut. “Learn to control your anger!” 

Ivan looked down at him sadly. His parents and older sister often said that to him. “Mattie…your brother said things to purposely hurt me. I got angry…I’m sorry for hurting you.” The smaller man started to cry.

“I was so happy at first, Ivan…”

“I know! I said I was sorry!” He stomped his foot and clenched his fists at his side. “He made me very, very angry! He did it on purpose knowing it would turn bad and make you hate me!”

‘I don’t hate you…but I don’t really like you either.’ Matthew said to himself. The pain in his back was starting to fade but it still hurt. “Ivan…ignore Alfred’s words. Please? Stop getting so angry and hurting him.”

“I hate him.” He sneered. “I hate your brother right down to the very bottom of my soul.”

“I know he’s hurt you…” Matthew squeezed his eyes shut again. “But let me help to make up for all the bad that he has done!”

Ivan’s features soften and he instantly felt his rage start to melt away. “That is not fair to you, Mattie. That is a very heavy burden to bear. Your brother is the cause of all our misfortune! You and me!” He took Matthew’s smaller hand in his. “Do you understand?”

Matthew looked at him sadly. “He is still my brother. The only family I have left.”

“I am your family now.”

“By force.” Matthew whispered. “You only are doing this by force…not by choice.”

Ivan frowned, kneeling next to the bed. “Would you have had me if I did not invade your home?”

Matthew thought about it, and surprisingly he found himself giving a nod. “I would have…but Alfred would have won you over first.” 

“Do not speak his name in my presence. He may be your brother but he is still my enemy.”

“You’ve won.” Matthew whined. “Now just let him go! He won’t do anything now!”

“Never.” Ivan hissed. “Alfred is my slave! I will break his spirit! Once he is nothing more than a whimpering, squeaky little mouse, then I will let him go. But he will not be free, oh no. I will end his suffering,” he grinned darkly “I will-“ He stopped when he saw the look of terror on Matthew’s face. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Stop being so cruel…”

“I am not cruel!” His eyes turned furious with rage. “I’M A GOOD PERSON! I AM! I AM! I AM!”

Matthew cried for Ivan to stop as the beast of a man flipped over a table and one of the chairs. Ivan was going on a mad rampage, much like his father would when the man was drunk. Forcing himself to ignore the pain in his back, Matthew hurried off the bed and limped towards Ivan’s violent form. Ivan was screaming and cursing like a mad man, but all Matthew could here was the word ‘kindness’ in his ears. To stop the raging man, Matthew threw his arms around Ivan’s waist and held as tightly as he could. 

“I’m just like you!” Matthew screamed.

“LET GO OF ME!” Ivan grabbed the thin wrist and squeezed, making Matthew cry out in pain. He forced the smaller man to the floor. “YOU ARE NOTHING LIKE ME!”

Matthew cried in pain as Ivan slowly twisted his wrist. “I know what it’s like to be lonely!” He sobbed out. “I understand how you feel! AH!” He screamed the last part. “I WAS NEVER LIKED EITHER!” Ivan dropped his wrist, but Matthew jumped up to latch on to his waist once again. “I care about you, Ivan! I care!”

“GET OFF OF ME!”

“Calm your rage!” He was pushed away but would not give up. He wrapped his arms around Ivan’s front this time. “I will bear your burden as well as Alfred’s! I want to make you happy! Please stop this rage! I beg of you! Stop!”

Ivan did stop. He stared down at Matthew in shock. Did he really just hear those words come from Matthew’s lips? He cared for him? If anyone would love him, it would be gentle Matthew. Matthew cared for his people, animals, and world around him. Ivan believed the small man when he said he could understand how he felt. Matthew wasn’t much different from him. They have suffered the same with being ignored, belittled, and socially ostracized. Perhaps they could both heal one another. 

“Oh Mattie…my Little Lamb.” Ivan sank to his knees along with his small lover. “I’m sorry for losing my temper like that.” He held the sweet crying face gently in his hands. “I promise to do my best to keep you happy.”

‘Kindness.’ Matthew repeated. ‘Show him kindness.’ 

Saying not a word, Matthew stood up slowly and took Ivan’s hand. The man followed as they were led to the bed. His back still ached and his eyes were filled with tears, yet he still held Ivan closed to him. The man rests his heavy head on his chest while a hand rubbed at his belly. Matthew shivered at the belly strokes, but softly kissed the top of Ivan’s head. Ivan shivered, purred, and snuggled close to him. It was like having a large dog beside him. Ivan was trying his best to make him happy. Those gifts were wonderful, and Matthew truly was grateful for Ivan’s generosity. His father and brother never gave him anything. Although he could see that Ivan was misunderstood, Matthew could never really forgive the man for murdering his father and imprisoning his brother. Ivan may very well grow to love him and Matthew knew he could never return the feelings. Never. He would have to pretend.

Matthew stroked the silver hair in a soothing manner. He could feel Ivan smiling against his chest. ‘I will show you kindness, but it will not be sincere’.

Ivan sighed in content.

‘Forgive me, Ivan, for I am no better than Alfred.’ 

End Chapter 4 TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Warnings: Language

Chapter 5

“Beansie! Come here, boy!” Matthew pats his thigh and whistled to the puppy. Beansie yipped as he hopped over to the picnic blanket. Matthew scooped him up, giving him a hug and burying his nose in the light fur. “Oh Beansie, I love you!” The puppy bit at his curl and wagged his tail.

Feliciano moved over on the blanket to make room for Matthew and the puppy. “These teacakes are delicious, Mattie! You have to try one!” 

“Okay.” He picked one off the plate and took a bite, holding it away from Beansie who wanted to eat it as well. “No, no, little one. This is not for you.”

They were having a picnic on the castle grounds in the pasture where they could still be seen from Ivan’s chambers. Ludwig was present but stood off to the side, giving the two some privacy. A baby lamb came bleating over to them, eager for Matthew’s touch and company. Matthew picked a wildflower and held it out to the lamb to nibble on. Beansie barked at the lamb, but a few little whispers from Matthew had the puppy whining in slight displeasure. Feliciano had to gently shove the lamb away from the bowl of fresh fruit. 

“Looks like we have more company.” Feliciano noted the pasture animals coming their way. 

Matthew laughed. “We’ll be fine. The animals just like our company. Take what food you’d like and leave the rest for the animals. They deserve a treat once in awhile.” Three ewes, a ram, a nanny goat, and a kid joined the baby lamb at the picnic. Feliciano had to gobble down as much food as he could before the nanny goat stole it all. Beansie barked and leapt at the larger animals but they paid the small dog no mind. The bowl of fruit didn’t last long, nor did the pitcher of fresh milk. The animals, in their silent thanks, gathered around Matthew or nuzzled him. 

“You shouldn’t feed our food to the animals.” Ludwig said to them when he came over. “These animals have grass and hay to eat. They do not need to have our food as well.”

Feliciano smiled up at him. “This is the way it’s always been, Ludwig. We don’t have picnics outside like this very often.”

“Rations should be saved for humans.” Ludwig scolded again, shooing away the ram that gave an angry bleat in response. 

Matthew looked worried. “Ludwig, don’t make Rammy angry! He’ll head butt you when you’re not looking!”

Ludwig smirked. “I’ve fought dozens of men in battles! Do you honestly think I have fear of some farm animal?” Matthew turned away and Feliciano covered his eyes as Ludwig was head butted by Rammy. Ludwig let out a startled yell as he went toppling to the ground on his face. 

“Told you.” Matthew giggled softly. Feliciano did too. Ludwig said nothing as he got back to his feet and dusted his pants. 

“Oh, look Mattie. Your husband’s coming.” Feliciano pointed to the pasture where Ivan was riding a horse and walking Matthew’s horse beside him. 

Matthew stood up from the blanket and bowed his head when Ivan approached. “Husband.” Feliciano jumped up and bowed as well. Ludwig saluted. 

Ivan smiled down at the three but focused on Matthew. “I thought you would like to accompany me for a ride this morning.”

Matthew blushed. “I…I haven’t had that much time to learn, my lord. I won’t be as good as you on horseback. What if I can’t keep up?”

He jumped down from his horse. “I can teach you a few things myself. ‘Learn by doing’ is a motto my old tutor used to tell me. So will you ride with me? That is, of course, if your animal party will let you?” Matthew nodded. “Very good. Ludwig, help Feliciano clean up the picnic and you may return to the castle. We will be back shortly.”

Ludwig bowed. “As you wish, sir.” 

Taking Matthew’s hand, Ivan brought him over to the mare. “Have you named her? I fear I may have forgotten the name if you already told me?” 

“Lillian.” He answered with a stroke of the mare’s nose. “Her name is Lillian.”

“A fine name.” Ivan helped him up onto the saddle. “Hold the reigns now.” 

Matthew scratched behind her ears while Ivan mounted his stallion. Matthew looked the horse over, surprised by Ivan’s choice in appearance. He would have thought Ivan’s horse would be, well, monstrously wild. 

“We’ll walk them until we’re out of the pasture gates.” He turned the horse around. “Ride beside me.”

Remembering all the basics, Matthew said the word and set the horse in to motion. They walked the horses together and as they did, Matthew couldn’t help but ask Ivan about the horse. “Ivan? What’s your horses name?”

“This is my stallion, Swift. He is a handsome horse, is he not?” 

“He is. I especially like the brown spots on him. But why do you ride a stallion in to battle? Wouldn’t it be better to ride a gelding?”

Ivan smirked. “So you do know something about fighting. I’m glad you asked. Swift is my breeding and riding horse. My warhorse is…quite a different story.” He grinned at Matthew. “You’ll know he’s my horse when you see him.”

‘There’s my answer.’ 

“It’s funny. I still can’t believe that Alfred is your brother. Two brothers raised in the same house but complete opposites. How did you turn out to be the good son?”

Matthew gripped the reigns tightly. “You know why. Alfred is the firstborn son. He was born strong and healthy, a son any parent would be proud to have. I was just the second son. Father already had the son of his dreams.”

Ivan wiggled his nose. “Not all parents are like that. I was the second born.” Pale violet eyes laughed at him.

“You were still the firstborn son, regardless of when you were born.”

“Ah, but you didn’t know my sisters. Big Sister was a proper lady, very much like my lady mother. My little sister, Natalia, now SHE was the oddity of the family.” He started to frown. “She saw through Alfred’s lies yet I would not believe her. I was a terrible big brother.”

Fearing Ivan going berserk, Matthew quickly changed the subject back to himself. “My father, I believe, disliked me because I killed our lady mother in childbirth. It was told to me many times by servants and other nobles. I think…if it weren’t for my brother wanting a ‘little brother’, Father would have cast me out somewhere.”

Ivan found himself smirking in irritation. Leave it to Alfred to get what he wants. Still, there was a way he could work this. “If that is true about your father, then yours and mine would have never gotten along. To blame a child for something that is natural and out of our control is ludicrous. Women die in childbirth all the time. It’s just like a warrior being on the battlefield. A warrior could survive many battles, but there may be just one where something happens and it ends his life. Battle is as natural to a strong warrior as childbirth is to women.” He suddenly laughed and reared his horse, startling Matthew. “I just blew a hole in my own philosophy!”

“What on earth are you saying?”

“ A warrior doesn’t have to go to battle until his Lord says so! A woman doesn’t have to give birth if a man does not lie with her! So technically, your father could have just been happy with Alfred and still had a lady wife. Look at it as HIS fault your mother died, not yours.”

Matthew gave a sigh. “Even if that were true, Father is no longer here for me to confront him.”

“Not that you would.” Ivan forced his horse in front of Matthew’s, stopping them. “All of your house servants refer to you as ‘Gentle Matthew’. Tell me, does your brother have any sweet titles like that?”

Matthew slumped in Lillian’s saddle. “Just Lord Alfred. Or Young Master Alfred.” 

“So he doesn’t have anything special tied to his name, only his title, which is a given for his rank.”

“I suppose so?”

Ivan smiled. “The people of the castle like you more than Alfred. I have reason to believe that your people favor you over your brother. My men have been out in your lands and bring back stories of townspeople thrilled to know that you are with me on the throne.”

Matthew found himself flushing. “R-Really? They are…happy for me?”

“Very! You are sweet and gentle, where I am vicious, strong, and fierce!” He lowered his voice for the last part and laughed at Matthew’s fear. “We balance each other out, wouldn’t you say? The mighty stallion and the gentle lamb.”

“But lambs grow up to be rams.” Matthew gasped and covered his mouth. What possessed him to say that? That’s what Alfred used to tell him all the time when they were little. ‘Lambs grow up to be rams! So get stronger!’

Ivan stared at him intently for a moment, and then gave a crooked smile. “And colts grow up to be mighty horses, taller, stronger, and faster than rams.” He laughed. “Come, there is more to see!”

///

They took a rest at the riverbank where Ivan laid out a horse blanket for them to lay on. Ivan pulled the smaller man in to his lap to cuddle with him as they took in the sight of the river. 

“Does this please you?” Ivan asked.

“It’s lovely. Thank you for taking me here.” 

“You do not sound pleased.” Ivan lifted Matthew’s chin to look at him. “Are you simply saying this to please me? Are you afraid of what I might do to you if you voice an opinion about what you like?”

Matthew swallowed. “It’s not that, Ivan. May I speak plainly?”

“Yes.”

“I have a lot on my mind right now. I fear the trouble between you and my brother. I fear for my people. My whole life has changed and it…it is going to take some getting used to.”

Ivan took a deep breath. “You still hate me for what I did to your precious brother.” 

“The same as you hate what he did to your sisters.” Matthew looked at him with tears in his eyes. “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

He smiled. “That’s such sweet talk, but its all lies. If I don’t take care of Alfred now, he might just come back to finish the job. You may trust him, but I don’t. There is the little matter of incest you have yet to accept.”

“I cannot believe that.” Matthew looked out at the river. “As I had said, a man would agree to do anything to escape torture.”

“But he should have honor, and he should respect the honor of his brother. He hasn’t.” 

“Alfred is still my brother and I love him. So long as he is in chains and beaten every day, I shall never be truly happy.” 

Ivan frowned and tightened his hold on Matthew. “You pretend to be happy when you are with me, as is expected.” He tenderly stroked Matthew’s throat and felt the tension of fear. “I have destroyed your life, the same as Alfred has destroyed mine. His brother suffers for his sins, as my sisters had suffered at his hands.”

“Then you don’t…truly love me. You and I can never really be in love with such hatred in our hearts.” He started to cry as Ivan let go of his throat. “You do your sisters and your family no justice by destroying innocent lives!” Matthew turned to face him. “I…I want to learn to love you, Ivan! You are giving me a chance at great happiness, but I cannot feel that happiness unless you let go of your need for vengeance. You have broken Alfred’s bones, maimed him, scared him; he will never be the same again! He will be forced to live with his sins until his dying day. Death gives Alfred freedom…but if he lives…then he will always know of how you took over all of us for his prideful crimes. There is your revenge.” Matthew couldn’t believe it! Where was this sudden spirit coming from? Everything he said was true, and that is how he really felt. He couldn’t forgive Alfred for the horrible crimes he committed, but his brother did not deserve death either.

“Well, well, Little Lamb,” He smirked. “It appears your horns still grow. So what would you have me do? Free Alfred so he can turn around and kill me? I think not.”

Matthew had an idea. It was a cruel idea but one that could help him and his brother restore the family name and castle. It would hurt him to do it, but he could think of no other way. “I will deal with Alfred once you free him. It is time that I start to stand up for myself. And I will start with my brother. Husband, you will be proud of me for this. Please, free Alfred, and see how I deal with him.”

///

True to his word, Ivan had Alfred brought before them in chains. He sat upon the throne while Matthew stood beside him, looking as fierce and determined as Matthew could look. His Little Lamb was dressed in silky white with an opal circlet upon his head. He looked beautiful. Ivan was very curious to see what Matthew had in mind.

“Lord Alfred!” Ivan called him by title. “You should graciously thank your little brother for what we have agreed to do.” Ivan waved Ludwig over. “RELEASE HIM FROM HIS BINDS.”

Everyone was shocked, including Ludwig, who all but did what he was told. Once the shackles were removed, Alfred gave them both a curious look. “Matthew, is this true? Am I free of my binds?”

Matthew nodded. “You are to be free, brother, but you will not reside here.”

“What?” Alfred questioned. Ivan looked at Matthew. 

Taking a deep breath, Matthew narrowed his gaze at Alfred. “You have brought great shame upon this castle, our sigil, and our family.” He walked down the dais steps. “Because of your foolish pride, innocent lives have been tragically taken. It cannot be forgiven.”

Alfred gasped. “M-Mattie? What are you saying?”

He stopped before his brother. “Alfred F. Jones, you are hereby stripped of your title, lands, and holding to Ram family!” Everyone gasped. He had tears in his eyes as he continued to speak. “There is great sadness within these castle walls because of your crimes! Sadness that I must help to ease and make joyful once again. Not only have you robbed my husband of his family and his home when he wished to befriend you, but you dishonored ours as well! In the name of your pride!”

Alfred stared up at him for a moment, and then glared at Ivan. “It is you putting these words in his mouth! Bastard!” Matthew slapped him. The room fell silent. 

“You are no longer lord and master here. As of now, I carry the only title here. I am the true heir, and Ivan is my husband. Together we shall see these halls joyous with laughter and new hope.” He turned from him to start walking up the dais steps. “Never show your face here again. Do so, and I will have you arrested. As of now,” he stood beside Ivan’s chair. “You are simply Alfred and I Matthew to one another. We are no…longer brothers.” He barely got the last part out. Ivan was smiling at him, as the man would. ‘You win all around, Ivan. You got your revenge, Alfred is out of our lives, you gain a new home, titles, and lands…and you gain me.’

“I don’t believe what I hear!” Alfred hollered in Matthew’s direction. “This man gives you a few gifts and a circlet, so suddenly you’re power hungry now?”

“The same as you have been!” Matthew shouted back. “You brought all of this upon yourself, Alfred. Everything has to be different now. I will see our home restored. Some guards will see you to the village with a few coins to reside in a hospital. Good day to you, Alfred.” 

Alfred looked around, and then set his gaze back on Matthew. This wasn’t his brother. Either Ivan was planning something or Matthew had an agenda of his own. He hoped he was wrong about Matthew. The smug look on Ivan’s face made his blood boil. Ivan may think he has won, but Alfred would see to it that order was restored in his house. Should Matthew try to stop him again, there will be consequences. Turning from his only family, Alfred let himself be carried out of the hall.

The room was silent once the large doors closed with an echoing ‘boom’ off the high ceilings. 

Matthew lowered his head and gaze to the floor. A strong hand held his.

“You did very well, Mattie.” Ivan whispered to him. “Strong and fierce, yet merciful. Something I could never be.”

‘Please come back to rescue me, Alfie.’ Matthew said to himself, ignoring Ivan’s words. ‘Now you are out of Ivan’s vicious grasp and can heal…can become strong again…raise a new army and come back to save us all. Please, forgive me for what I have done.’

/// 

That night there was another vicious rainstorm with the thunder and lightening never taking a break. Matthew sat in his chair in front of the fire place, wrapped with a blanket around his shoulders. He gazed lazily at the flames without a care. Oh how he missed his brother. Oh how he hated this new life he was forcefully given. Until Alfred comes back to reclaim the castle, he will have to suffer at the hands of his husband. Knowing this sent him into a state of deep depression, one he doubted he could come out of. When Alfred left, it were as if his brother took all of his spirit with him. Matthew felt like an empty shell right now without his brother here. But he had to send Alfred away, being it the only way to protect him. 

Beansie whimpered at his feet, yipping and pawing at him. Matthew reached down to pet his small head. “Forgive me, Beansie, but I have no wish to play with you. I’m sorry.” The puppy must have sensed his distress because he crawled into Matthew’s lap, giving him puppy tongue kisses. It brought a small smile to Matthew’s face. “To be an animal; free of politics and treachery, not having a care in the world. Their minds are free of human thoughts and fears.” He closed his eyes. ‘May the gods turn me into a sheep so that I may escape to the hills.’

“Mattie?” Feliciano entered the room. “I brought you a late night snack.” He saw that the dinner tray was still full and untouched. Feliciano frowned. “Did you not like your dinner?”

“…I didn’t want it. I’m not hungry.”

Feliciano placed the new tray carefully beside the old one. “You have to eat, Mattie. If you don’t eat you become sick, and then I have to worry.” He came up to Matthew’s chair.

“Oh Feli…I’m so sad.”

“I know. Sending Alfred away was the only chance he had at staying safe from Ivan. You did the right thing.” Feliciano knelt in front of him. 

Matthew looked at his friend with tears. “I fear Alfred will always hate me now.” He whispered. “He will think I chose Ivan over him and our family!”

“Alfred is not stupid. I’m sure he knows why you did it.”

Matthew shook his head. “I fear he doesn’t. Oh Feli, I can’t forgive Alfred for the horrendous crimes he committed against Ivan’s family…but how can I condemn my own brother? If only I had a minute to explain to him why I am doing this.” 

“Alfred will figure it out. I know he will.” Feliciano took Matthew’s hands in his own. “Now please eat something. At least drink your special formula.”

Matthew looked away. “I don’t want it. I don’t want any of it. Maybe tomorrow.”

“Then at least let me help you to bed.” Feliciano guided him to the vanity to begin the nightly process. “Tomorrow we will wash your hair and I shall trim it. You are due for one.”

“Thank you. Are you staying with Ludwig tonight?”

“And leave you all alone like this? No, I’m staying with you.” He pulled Matthew’s hair back in a ponytail.

“But it’s not fair to Ludwig that you can’t share his bed. You deserve happiness too.”

“You need happiness the most.” Feliciano rubbed some salted salve on Matthew’s chapped hands and rinsed them. “I do think Ivan really likes you, Mattie.”

“I know. Right now I hate him.” He sniffled. “I try to like him. I really do. He’s so angry and cruel…I have to be the one to calm him all the time.” He stood up as Feliciano dressed him for bed. “It will be exhausting.” 

Feliciano brought him over to the bed and tucked him in. “Everything will work out in the end, Mattie. You’ll see.” He smiled. “You just have to keep strong.”

“I’d rather throw myself from the chamber window than continue on this way.”

“Don’t speak like that!” Feliciano gasped. “If something ever happened to you, Mattie…I don’t know what I would do!” He got into bed beside him with Beansie hopping in the middle. “You are my best friend.”

Matthew gave him a tired smile. “And you are mine. At least I still have you here with me. I should thank the gods for that.” The storm raged louder outside.

“It sure is loud out there.” Feliciano looked to the window.

“I take this as a sign from the gods that they are angry with me.”

“Or they are angry at Ivan.” Feliciano whispered. 

He pulled Beansie close to his chest and cuddled the puppy. “If the sun does not come out tomorrow…it is a bad omen. Pray for sunlight.”

That night, he had a dream about himself and Alfred when they were little meeting Feliciano for the first time. Feliciano was brought to their father by his family to become a groom for Alfred. Alfred was pleased to have his own servant, and that day he played rough with the boy. Matthew remembered going up to Feliciano after dinner as the little boy sat crying in the corner of the feasting hall.

‘Why are you sad?’ Matthew asked, holding his stuffed bear that was as big as he is.

‘I miss my family!’ Feliciano whined, wiping his eyes with his fists. ‘I miss my brother, mother and father! Your brother is mean and I want to go back home!’

‘Don’t be sad any more. Here, take my bear to feel better.’ Matthew handed it to the little boy. ‘Keep him warm, okay?’

Feliciano held the large stuffed bear close to him. ‘You don’t mind? He’s yours, though.’

Matthew shook his head. ‘No. I’m used to Alfred beating me up all the time. My bear will make you feel better. You feel better, okay?’

Two days later, his father announced that Feliciano would be Matthew’s groom and not Alfred’s. Alfred was mad and jealous, stomping his foot and throwing a fit. To appease him, their father bought him a pony and a training sword. Alfred then cared nothing for Feliciano and the matter was forgotten. Matthew was pleased to have a friend of his very own who he could play with and tell secrets to. They would scare each other with ghost stories and monsters while roaming the halls at night, playing ‘adventurers’. 

Little Matthew suddenly looked around, finding Feliciano had gone missing. He called for his friend, but no one answered. There was a knocking at a door in the hall. Matthew looked at it. The knocking was coming from the other side. With a trembling hand he opened it. Inside was dark. Then two large hands with leather wrist bands reached out to grab him. He screamed.

Then he shot up from the bed in a cold sweat, panting heavily. Beansie woke up with him and whimpered. Feliciano was still sound asleep. Matthew wiped at his brow, relieved that it was only a dream and nothing more. The fire was still burning wildly with life. It should have been dead, or dying, by now. Matthew looked over to it only to hold back a scream of shock and fearful surprise. 

Ivan stood in front of the fire place, watching him on the bed. The fire light from behind darkened the large man’s features, giving him the appearance of a monster or a demon. Matthew could only wonder if what he sees was real or just another dream. 

He felt the urge to throw himself out the window. 

End Chapter 5 TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Language, mention of non-con, some violence

Chapter 6

Alfred lay in the hospital bed, ready to throw his pillow at the man coughing in the next bed beside him. He ordered a nurse to pull up the cloth curtain so he could be alone. While being away from Ivan was a treat, there was still the strange acting of his little brother, Matthew. Matthew took on his role without a second of doubt, firmly speaking his demands and voicing his new title. That was not his brother, though. That was not who Matthew was. That was what Alfred kept from happening to Matthew for all these years.

Matthew didn’t know what really went on during his lessons in training, battle, and academics. Their father did not favor ‘him’ like Matthew so often believed. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Alfred, being born first, was the sole heir to the throne of Ram Hill Hall. With that title came specific rules and obligations he had to fulfill, no matter how cruel or harsh they were. Alfred always tried to make light of his suffering so as to not worry Matthew. His little brother was weak and sickly, without needing the extra stress of having to worry about his ‘big brother’. It was Alfred’s job to protect Matthew as best he could, especially from their father.

As Matthew grew older he began to resemble their mother with short hair. Alfred remembered his mother, but only one or two images of her were still clear in his mind. Their mother did look like Matthew, with long pale blonde hair in wavy, bouncy curls and friendly violet eyes. Once their mother had passed in childbirth, Alfred recalled his father locking himself up in a room for days. He would sit outside the door, crying, while he heard his father screaming and breaking things. It frightened him. He thought he would lose more than just a mother. Alfred wasn’t the only one to notice Matthew’s strong, almost mirror-like resemblance to their mother, but their father as well. Alfred remembered that night clearly; Matthew was no more than thirteen when Feliciano burst into his room to warn him of their father’s presence. When Alfred arrived at Matthew’s room, he saw their father leaning over the sleeping body with a candle. The closer Alfred got, the clearer he could hear his father whispering their mother’s name as he gazed upon Matthew. When he saw their father’s hand grip the top of the bed sheet he darted over and grabbed the thick wrist. He could still picture his father’s shocked but angry face.

‘He is your son!’ Alfred has whispered in a harsh tone. ‘Your wife is dead! He is not she!’

After that disturbing night, Alfred had to constantly keep their father in his sight in fear of him dishonoring Matthew. That was when it had all made sense to Alfred- why their father insisted on keeping Matthew sweet, carefree, domestic, and ‘proper’. Their father wanted to have his wife back, and he could do that through Matthew. Alfred hated himself for never telling Matthew, but how could he? All Matthew ever wanted was for their father to love him, yet little did he know how much their father REALLY loved him. Only Feliciano knew, and after all these years the simpleton had kept silent. That was only one part of his daily struggle growing up. The second was his constant training and academics. He was worked to the bone, and acted out when he could. It was stress relief, although it bought him the reputation of being a spoiled rich brat. He wasn’t spoiled. He wasn’t rich. He was his father’s heir and that was all. Matthew had it easy. His father would beat him, all the time. His father would have the tutors and training guards beat him: all the time. Alfred refused to do his work sometimes, rebelled against his father, or did something to require punishment. All of it he had to endure in silence for the sake of his home and brother. Giving up his own happiness was the only way he could successfully rule Ram Hill Hall.

As they both grew older their father had begun to heal: mentally. Things started to get better and Alfred was able to act normally. Until the day came where he had to prove himself a man, as well as a knight, a lord, and an heir. He was sent to Ivan’s homeland to conquer it for themselves. The plan was to make Ivan, the newfound lord, trust and confide in him. Once Ivan had his trust, Alfred was supposed to attack and destroy. All of it. Every place and every one, including Ivan’s sisters. Alfred closed his eyes to think back to that time he spent with Ivan.

_‘Ivan, I think you’re falling in love with me!’ Alfred laughed as they clinked mugs._

_‘I am falling for you, Alfred.’ Ivan responded. ‘I was lost until you came along to…to brighten things up. This place used to be a haunted castle, and now it is alive with laughter…your laughter.’ Ivan smiled. ‘Thank you for bringing so much joy to my home.’_

_‘Glad I could.’ He grew a bit uncomfortable by Ivan’s look. ‘What do you keep looking at me like that?’_

_Ivan blushed softly and quickly turned away. ‘I’m not looking!’_

_‘Yes, you are. Look, I’m not really ready for a…relationship, and especially not with another man. Maybe in time, okay? For now, let’s drink!’_

_Alfred didn’t want Ivan, at all. The man was taller than him, stocky with ‘winter blubber’ as Alfred called it, had a big nose, and wore ugly clothes. Granted, his kingdom was usually cold on a summer day, but he still dressed like a mountain dweller. There was nothing attractive about Ivan at all, and yet he still had to keep up this game of fake attraction. His orders were to gain their trust, by any means, be it love or friendship. Ivan was the man of the house; he was the one Alfred had to win over. He hated this. It wasn’t fair to him or Ivan that he had to play with the man’s emotions. Ivan was mentally unstable as well, or at least a little ‘bizarre’. He had seen Ivan in hand to hand combat; the man is a monster. Getting on his bad side would end badly, so Alfred had to play this very carefully._

_Two months went by and Ivan had fallen for him even further. Not only that, but Ivan’s elder sister had a crush on him as well. Alfred much rather have the girl, but it was Ivan he needed to capture. The day to attack was coming soon for his father’s troops were growing weary and antsy, ready to fight. Alfred knew what time and day it was, so he had to have Ivan in his grips. That would be where the ‘love’ comes in- and he had been working up to it. And so, on that night, he called Ivan into his chambers. There he had a small dinner set up for them to share. Ivan was taken aback by the setup of food and they dined together first before going to the bed. There was no way Alfred was going to let Ivan dominate him. He would be the one on top. Hopefully he could buy some time with Ivan by sweet words of pillow talk. It worked. They lay side by side, looking at one another._

_‘Alfred, this means so much to me. You truly are a wonderful person.’_

_Alfred gave an uneasy smile. ‘W-why do you say that?’_

_Ivan blushed prettily with a smile. ‘Well, you’ve treated me like an equal. You love me just as I am. For someone so handsome and free spirited as you to fall in love with me…it’s like a dream come true. Most look at me like a big snow oaf, but not you.’ Ivan stroked the other’s cheek. ‘You are truly special, and I love you.’_

_Oh why did Ivan have to speak like that? The man was speaking from the heart; he truly believed Alfred loved him. If Alfred didn’t feel guilty before, he certainly did now. He wanted to let Ivan down gently, but the raid had still not happened, so he had to keep going. ‘I’ve always given people a chance. You’re a very interesting person, Ivan. I’ve seen how much you love your sisters and know you can be just as lovable with me. I don’t get much…warmth at my home. I do get it here, though, from you.’ Ivan was looking at him with all the love those purple eyes could hold, and Alfred bit his lip. Alfred meant none of these words and had no feelings of love for Ivan at all. He wished the raid would start so he could get away from the large man. Soon he would be a knight and would have pleased his father. Soon…soon…_

_It was hard to pretend to like Ivan’s touches as they played like ‘lovers’ on the bed. Luckily, the duel for dominance kept on going, buying Alfred some time. Soon the soldiers will be bursting into his room._

_‘Alfred, will you stay here with me?’ Ivan suddenly whispered._

_‘Stay with you? Here?’_

_‘Yes. I want us to be together but I can’t leave my sisters alone to run the castle until I find them husbands. So please, stay here with me? I will teach you to love the snow and cold weather.’_

_Alfred forced a smile. ‘Of course I will stay with you. I don’t want us to ever be apart, Ivan.’ Ivan hugged him._

_‘Think about how powerful you and I will be when we rule together? We will be a force unlike the world has ever seen!’_

_‘I…can’t wait for that.’ And then, it happened._

_Alfred’s men burst in through the door, seven or eight of them, all with swords drawn. Both men jumped up, but it was Ivan whom the soldiers surrounded. Ivan was half naked and unarmed- completely at the mercy of numerous blades pointed at him. One move would have him stabbed. Alfred saw the look of confusion of Ivan’s face, those purple eyes asking ‘what is going on’ and ‘why aren’t you helping’._

_‘Lord Alfred, what shall we do with him?’_

_Alfred didn’t want to do it. Now that he saw it, he wanted to call it off. Call it off, apologize to Ivan, and run back to Ram Hill Hall. But he wanted to become a knight. He wanted that respect and power- he NEEDED it. So crossing his arms and glaring at Ivan, he gave his orders. ‘Put him in chains and see to it that he does not escape.’_

_‘YOU BASTARD! YOU TRICKED ME!’ Ivan hollered. He tried to attack but the men overpowered him. He was cut with the swords and wrestled to the floor where a soldier was ready with chains. Ivan was shackled and forced to his feet._

_Alfred saw the look of pain and betrayal in Ivan’s eyes, a mixture of anger and sadness. Alfred couldn’t falter, though. He had to stay strong. This household and land was now his. He conquered it. He claimed it for his father. He had done his job. Alfred followed the soldiers dragging Ivan, trying to ignore the massacre going on around him. His men were killing all of Ivan’s, women and children alike. Alfred wouldn’t have allowed it but knew these were the orders from his father…and he had to obey. Even when Ivan was crying his youngest sister’s name Alfred just ignored it. When they happened across the gang rape, Alfred ignored Ivan’s pleas for him to stop it and save his sister. Alfred wanted to, and would have, if it weren’t for his pride and need to become a true knight and please his father. He ordered the soldiers to keep walking, leaving the others to do as they pleased. Ivan was brought to the dungeon, chained up, and left in the dark. He kept shouting Alfred’s name in anger and rage, the sounds bouncing off the dungeon walls. Alfred just kept walking and didn’t look back. The castle was conquered, his job was done. Alfred locked himself in his chambers until the rest of the raid had finished._

_A week later, he finally gathered up the courage to see Ivan in the dungeons. Word of his elder sister’s death from infection must have reached him by now. No words of condolences could ease the man’s suffering. Alfred now stood in front of Ivan’s cell, looking at the dirtied man still in chains. ‘If only you would surrender I could let you go.’_

_Ivan slowly lifted his head. ‘…I trust nothing that comes from your serpent tongue.’ His voice was hoarse. ‘How dare you show your face to me…after what you have done.’_

_Alfred rolled his eyes. ‘You wouldn’t surrender. My father wants this kingdom, land, and castle. I, Alfred, his first born son and warrior, conquered it for him.’_

_‘With lies and deceit!’ Ivan hissed. ‘What a disgusting way to conduct a raid! My sisters are DEAD because of you! Almost all of my residents are dead; innocent women and children who had nothing to do with your crazy pride! And you let it all happen!’_

_Alfred swallowed, slightly intimidated by the deep, dark sound of Ivan’s voice. The whole dungeon was dark save for some torchlight, and it only appeared to make Ivan look like a demon. Those purple eyes bore holes into him. ‘I did what was asked of me and nothing more. Yes, I pretended to love you, and you were so foolish to believe that my words were true. For a man, a young lord, to be so easily fooled by the fake words of another man…that is not a ruler! That is a weakling!’_

_‘Shut your fucking mouth, you monster!’ Ivan sneered. ‘Your lies and betrayal hurts more than these chains! I thought would could rule and conquer together, become the strongest kingdom the world has ever seen…and you tricked me.’_

_‘Yeah. I did. Sucks but it’s true. Nothing I say you will believe, so with this, I tell you that I must go back to my own kingdom. My men in charge will take care of things here for a bit. Next time, Ivan, don’t fall so easily for a person who shows you kindness.’ He turned to begin walking away, but Ivan’s words stopped him._

_‘It’s only people like you who are the bad ones. Cowards. Monsters. Mark my words, Alfred: I will have my revenge. I can be twice as cruel as you and show no mercy. You will die at my hands, but not until I have taken away everything you hold dear. Your payback will be tenfold. I swear it by the old gods, I will feast upon your flesh and mount your rotting head on my wall.’_

_Alfred snorted. ‘Not if I tell my men to let you rot in there. You are nothing to me. You have no family and no friends. No one will miss you.’ Alfred had to hurry out of the dungeon while trying to hold back his tears. This last week had been terrible, full of restless nights and guilt. But he couldn’t give in. He hated himself for what he had to do. It had to be done. It had to be! Soon he would leave this place, head back home, and run to the arms of his little brother. He was grateful he still had a home and family to go back to._

_Some time after that, word had gotten back to Alfred that Ivan had escaped the dungeon, aided by allies they didn’t know existed. Alfred couldn’t sleep after hearing that, thinking back to Ivan’s promise of revenge. He was terrified, yet acted as if he weren’t scared at all. He had to sleep with his lanterns and candles on. He bolted the windows every night and locked the chamber door. He slept with a dagger under his pillow and a sword beside him. Alfred never got a moments rest._

‘And now I’m here.’ Alfred opened his eyes. ‘He got his revenge all right. Fucking bastard, I’ll never be the same.’ He looked around at the other sleeping people in the hospital. ‘Doesn’t matter. Once I’m better enough to walk, I’ll call forth the banners and raise an army of my own…then I will take back what is mine.’ He smirked. ‘Thank you, Mattie, for banishing me like this. I think I know now of your secret plan.’ He chuckled. ‘He’s finally growing some horns.’

///

Matthew trembled at the sight of his demonic husband. What did Ivan want with him at this hour? Beansie growled, but one glare from Ivan had the puppy running to hide under the bed.

“I wish to speak with you, Little Lamb. Wake your groom and send him to Ludwig’s room instead.”

Matthew shook Feliciano awake. The other man yawned but gasped when he too saw Ivan. “It’s okay, Feli, it’s just my husband. We need to speak, so you are free to go to Ludwig’s room.” Feliciano wasted no time hurrying out of the room, and Matthew couldn’t blame him. Swallowing hard, Matthew forced himself to smile. “What do you have need of, Ivan?”

Ivan walked over to the bed. “A true smile from you is what I crave.”

Matthew’s forced smile drooped. “I just banished the only family I have left. You expect me to smile after that? I know it was the right thing to do…but I can’t lie and say I’m happy about it.”

“I understand. I only wish to stay here and keep you company. I’ve been told you are not eating.”

“I don’t feel like eating.”

Ivan removed his boots, pants, and belt. “You are going to have to start again or else you will be ill. I want you happy and healthy.”

“Perhaps in time I will be better. I really miss my brother.”

“We will not speak of him any more.” He settled into bed. “You are lord and master here now, the same as I. It is a title you deserve. Now, come, lay with me.”

Matthew did as he was told, cuddling up next to his husband. The strong arms wrapped around him, trying to love and comfort him. If only Matthew felt the same. He was supposed to win Ivan over with kindness in hopes of getting the man to change his ways. He had to keep Ivan’s interest, even if he didn’t have the want or the energy to do so. Matthew moved to straddle Ivan’s waist, blushing brightly as he did. Ivan was looking at him with a questionable expression.

“You want to do this now?” He asked. Matthew nodded. “I thought you were sad?”

“I need to get my mind off things. W-Will you help me?”

Ivan gently rolled them over and took his position, helping Matthew to ‘forget’ all through the night.

By morning, Matthew was still passed out in bed, his hair a tangled mess and his arms dotted with small bruises. Ivan frowned when he saw the fingerprints on the creamy flesh, feeling ashamed of himself for taking such advantage of Matthew’s depression. Ivan should have known Matthew was only doing what he felt a ‘wife’ should do, without any meaning behind it. In a way, it was like Alfred all over again, pretending to be in love with him. But Matthew was not Alfred. Matthew was everything sweet and kind; the milk of human kindness. Ivan smiled, realizing how lucky he was to have Matthew as his own, even if the little lamb was still skittish of him. It was going to be hard, but Ivan would have to deal with Matthew’s current depressed state until he came out of it. He would just have to remain calm and continue to be supportive of Matthew’s feelings.

_6 months later…_

Winter had come to Ram Hill Hall and the first heavy snowfall lay its blanket of white on the ground.

Matthew stood while Feliciano dressed him for a winter morning’s ride outside in the valley with Ivan. Beansie hopped around his feet, jumping and biting at the long fur sleeves. This was his latest outfit from Ivan, given to him as another gift to ease his sadness. The tunic was thick white wool and dotted with pattern designs of many colors,; the pants a heavy solid white and fur clad boots. The fur cloak was made from wolves and fox, a stunning collection of Ivan’s proud kills while on various hunts. The clothes and cloak were warm so his small body would not feel the cold. His depression and lack of motivation over the last few months had caused him to lose weight; he could completely disappear behind Ivan. Standing beside his husband would get a rise or a laugh out of other nobles, since they looked so different together. Ivan was so big and stocky, while he was frail and thin. He didn’t care much for what people said or thought about him anymore. Matthew was lucky to get out of bed every day.

Feliciano placed the opal circle upon Matthew’s head and carefully lifted the hood over it. “Oh Matthew, you look gorgeous!”

Matthew was able to smile again. “Thank you, Feli.” He held out his hand so his friend could put on the white gloves. “I’m not looking forward to my ride with Ivan.”

“I know, but Ivan is really working hard to keep you happy. I mean, I know he has done such horrible things…but I know he is trying to make amends, at least with you.”

Matthew narrowed his gaze a bit. “You do remember what he did?”

“I do! I meant no offense, Mattie!” Feliciano looked at him with worry. “Ivan was…was just getting even with your brother for what befell his home.”

“Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

“I know, but remember, men like you and me aren’t politics or lords. We weren’t brought up that way. We have no pride on the line, nor do we have to constantly prove ourselves. Ivan and Alfred have always had those issues to deal with.”

Matthew looked away from him. “You sound like Ludwig.”

“Are you mad at me?” Feliciano ‘eeped’. “Mattie! Please don’t be mad! I meant no offense!”

“You sound like you are taking Ivan’s side!” He whispered with new tears in his eyes.

“Heavens, no!” He fell to his knees and took both of Matthew’s hands in his own. “Mattie, please, you’re my best friend! I have seen you cry, pine, mourn, and waste away these past months! It hurts me to see you like this every day! I only want you to be happy!”

Matthew clenched his eyes. “I can never be happy! Never again! Not until things are back to the way they were!”

“But…that can’t be-“

“I know.” He pulled away from Feliciano. “I will see myself to the stables. Watch Beansie for me.”

Feliciano was near tears as well, knowing that Matthew was upset with him. “Matthew! Please, don’t be mad at me? Please!”

“Good day, Feli.” He left.

///

Matthew rode Lillian beside Swift while following the snow covered path to the open meadows of Ram Hill territory. Ivan was dressed the same as him, only his furs were settled along his shoulders and waist. Matthew hated the hat Ivan wore on his head. It was a very warm and furry hat that covered his ears and neck, but it had a set of reindeer antlers hanging from it, along with some small animal paws. Upon the fur shawl bounced various animal tails, that of raccoons, fox, mink, badger, and some others he didn’t recognize. Matthew knew that this was normal for Ivan, because in his territory in the mountains this was how his people had always lived. Even the hilt of Ivan’s dagger was carved from an antler. Ivan looked like some sort of dark mountain dweller that would eat your children. But Ivan was always smiling.

“Something is troubling you today, sweet. What has you upset today?”

“I had some words with Feli.” Matthew answered. “It wasn’t really a fight…but I did get mad at him. Now I feel terrible for making him cry.”

Ivan chuckled. “Feliciano could burst out crying if you walked up to him and said ‘boo’. What could he have done that was so bad to make you angry?”

Matthew couldn’t tell him the truth, so he had to make something up. “He um…I was just cranky, that’s all. He messed up on my dressing and I…yelled at him. I shouldn’t have been so mean to him. Feliciano is my only friend and trusted groom. We’ve been together since we were little. I should not have lashed out at him like I did. He does not deserve that.” He brushed a snowflake off his cheek.

“Worry not, sweet. Feliciano is quick to forgive. And he has to forgive you anyway. You are his superior.”

“You know I do not think of Feliciano that way. He is like family to me.”

Ivan nodded. “Yes, I know. Ah, look Matthew! Look!” He pointed to the valley. “Look at the herd of deer!”

Matthew smiled at the prancing herd of deer, gazing at their majestic beauty. How he wished to run free with them. His brows furrowed when he noticed a pair of brown forms in the snow, one big and one little. He gasped softly. “Ivan, look there.”

“You mean that spot of brown in the distance?”

“Yes. That doe is wounded, and she has a baby with her. The herd is leaving them behind.”

Ivan gave a nod. “You are correct. They would not leave another out in the open like this with a defenseless babe if something was not wrong with it. What would you have us do?”

Matthew’s eyes pleaded with him. “I love animals, you know that. Can we go down there and see if we can do anything for her?”

Ivan smiled. “Sweetling, I’ll let you take the fawn home if the doe is near death. We will take them both back.”

Matthew looked away. “You will eat the doe.”

“Why leave a good meal to the wolves? We could always use more meat, Matthew. I cannot leave an easy kill like that. Come, let us see what the situation is first.”

Riding down to the doe, they could see that she was wounded, a broken leg. Matthew got off his horse and slowly approached her. She let out a distressed honking-like sound. “Shh, it’s alright, girl. It’s alright. I won’t hurt you.” He saw the little fawn settled beside her. It wasn’t that many days old. It was very young.

“Be careful, Matthew.” Ivan gently warned. “She may be wounded but will still attack to protect her fawn.”

“I understand.” Again, he approached her, whispering gentle words until she accepted his presence.

Ivan was never not surprised at Matthew’s magical way with animals.

Matthew stroked her head and neck. “She is in pain, poor thing.”

“You know what has to be done, right? She will never heal or run again. Leave her here, and she will starve to death or get torn apart by wolves.”

Matthew cringed. He know Ivan spoke the truth. “Why do animals always leave the weak behind?” He asked. “Why do they never try to help their fallen?”

“Mattie, animals live a harsher life than we humans do.” He slid off his horse. “There is no room for the weak in the wild. Only the strong survive. A wounded or sick animal will only bring trouble for the rest, so they are left behind. This doe can do nothing for the herd, she cannot run and can no longer breed. There is no place for her in the herd.”

“And so we eat her instead?”

“That is the nature of the beast. Think it cruel if you must, but even you know that you have to eat meat in the winter.”

“I do understand…I just wish things were different.” He looked at the fawn. “You said I could take them, yes? I’m taking this fawn back with me.”

“Starting a collection of woodland creatures now?”

Matthew picked up the fawn, it squirmed in his hold and called for its mother. She tried to reach the fawn but couldn’t move. Matthew held the trembling form to his chest, turning away from the doe. “Just make it quick and painless for her.”

“Yes, my love.”

The doe was taken care of, like promised, and they made their way back to the castle with the new kill. Matthew rode with the fawn still tight in his arms, the creature now having got use to his touch. The doe was dragged behind Ivan’s horse in the soft snow. It was too big to sling over the horse. Matthew made sure to not look back.

///

“Lord Ivan? You wanted to see me?” Ludwig entered Ivan’s study.

“Yes, please, come in.” He smiled from his chair in front of the fire. “I have a new mission for you, my friend.”

Ludwig touched one of the many stuffed animals in the study. “Are we still hunting Alfred?”

“Yes, but that is for the others to do. Right now, I want to focus on Matthew’s happiness.” Ivan stood up and leaned his weight on the stuffed body of a black bear. “Matthew has a new pet; a little fawn.”

Ludwig nodded. “I saw. Feliciano was going on and on about it. I guess they are friends again. Feliciano is not getting a deer of his own. I forbid it. Food supply should not be pets.”

Ivan laughed. “I agree! You and I are superb hunters, but you, my friend, are a better trapper than I. And so, here is your mission. I want you to trap as many forest animals as you can. Hunt and trap whatever you can find, preferably young animals that can be trained. Babies, if you will.”

Ludwig cleared his throat. “You mean like rabbits?”

“Not just rabbits. Other animals too, like a fox.”

“Ivan, if I may, you are speaking strangely. I cannot just trap wild animals to keep as pets. Besides, Matthew is a big animal lover. He will not want to keep forest animals as pets when he knows they belong in the wild. Your gesture is nice, but it doesn’t make sense. By him some farm animals instead.”

Ivan moved away from the bear. “You’re right. Matthew will never step foot inside this room because of all the stuffed beasts I have.” He looked up at the mounted owl. “So strange he is, my Little Lamb. Most wives and lovers would be thrilled with their husband’s kills from the hunts. I just want to please him, Ludwig. I want to make him happy again.”

“The only way to do that is to-“

“I know. I’m just hoping I can find another way to please him.”

“I would just give him time, Ivan. Presenting him with gift after gift is clearly not working. He needs-“

The door burst open and it was a serving girl. “LORD IVAN! COME QUICK! LORD MATTHEW COLLAPSED!”

Ivan looked at Ludwig before bolting out of the room.

End Chapter 6 TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 

When they arrived at Matthew's chambers he was on the floor passed out. Ivan immediately picked him up to carry the small form over to the bed. "Where is Feliciano?" Ivan asked out loud.

 

"He wasn't here when I helping Lord Matthew!" Said the servant.

 

"Go find him. He should have been here." Ivan made sure Matthew was under the covers and warm. Beansie jumped up to cuddle beside his master, whimpering. Ivan looked upon the small, pale figure laying helplessly on the bed with shallow breaths and a constant saddened look. Ivan pushed away the strands of hair from the sweaty face. "Ludwig, he is running a fever. Fetch the physician." He knew how much Matthew was suffering from the banishment of his brother. Matthew has been in a constant stage of depression, and it was beginning to show. It bothered Ivan to see Matthew so sickly, more so then how he was before.

 

"Good evening, sire." Said the physician as the man rushed in, with Feliciano close behind.

 

"Mattie!" Feliciano stood on the other side of the bed. "What happened to him?"

 

Ivan moved out of the way so the physician could do his work. "He just collapsed. Where were you? You are his groom."

 

"I'm sorry, but we had a bit of a misunderstanding and Matthew got mad at me. I  thought I should stay away until he had calmed down. I didn't know this would happen!"

 

Ivan believed him too. He said nothing more but let the physician look over Matthew. "How is he?"

 

"Very malnourished. He is weak from hunger and dehydrated. It is very important that he starts eating and drinking."

 

"He's been refusing." Feliciano said. "Every time I bring him new food I find the old food untouched! He eats so little nowadays."

 

The physician sighed. "Everyone here knows that our Gentle Matthew is heartbroken and depressed over the banishment of Alfred. He is suffering all this from his depression."

 

Ivan narrowed his eyes. "So what do we do?"

 

"Well, the first option is out of the question. The second would be to keep him as fed and watered as much as possible and wait for the depression to pass. Time helps the healing process." He checked under the eyelids. "Since he is so very weak, I wouldn't let him out of this bed or room." He turned to Ivan. "While weak, and already has a history of being sickly, he is very susceptible to illness. Should he catch something in this state, his body may not be able to fight it off, even the most simplest ailment. His room and bedding must be cleaned every other day."

 

"I can do it." Feliciano said, his eyes moist with tears. "I won't leave him."

 

The physician fumbled through his bag. “I do have something to bring down the fever. I would suggest continuing to give him his special drink mixture as often as possible. He needs to build up strength and energy.”

 

Ivan took Matthew’s hand. “What about bleeding him?”

 

“I wouldn’t dare do that in his state. To be honest, your grace, I find the art of bleeding to only make the patient worse rather than better. No, we need Gentle Matthew strong again. He is all that is left of his bloodline now.” He placed a vial of medicine on the end table. “Put three drops of that into a chicken broth and feed it to him. Start with a small amount of broth. If you give him too much at once he’ll throw it back up. We need to start slow.”

 

Ivan nodded. “Thank you. Go with Ludwig and he will pay you for your service.” He watched them leave, and then raised a brow at Feliciano buzzing around the room. He came back with a brush and purple ribbon. The ribbon was between his lips while he gently combed back Matthew’s hair. “What are you doing?”

 

He dropped the ribbon. “Tying his hair back. When he’s sick, he hates his hair hanging loose because it knots.” Tilting Matthew’s head to the side he carefully tied it back in a small ponytail with the ribbon. “My poor Mattie…”

 

“What did you have a misunderstanding about?” Ivan asked.

 

Feliciano wouldn’t tell him the truth so he made something up. “He only argued with me because he was ill and cranky. It was a minor detail about his bath. But he told me to leave him alone, so I did. I didn’t know this would happen. You must believe me.”

 

“I just want Matthew to get better. Despite what he may think of me, I do honestly care for him. Will you tell him that?”

 

“I think…you should tell him yourself.”

 

Ivan shook his head. “I doubt he would believe me.” He sighed. “I still have work to do. Take care of him for me. I will check on him now and again. Perhaps being…away from me will speed his healing process.”

 

He left the room and returned to his own chambers where he flopped onto the bed. He should have known this would happen. While he was pleased with Alfred’s banishment, he was displeased with Matthew’s declining health. The only way he would make Matthew better would be to bring Alfred back; and that was out of the question. Ivan would just have to put up with Matthew’s depression until time helped to heal, like the doctor said it would. He would have to be patient and keep his temper. There was no way Matthew was doing this for pity or for attention; the man was actually depressed. Nothing would please him unless Alfred came back.

 

‘That damned Alfred! Even when he is out of my life he still manages to trouble it. Damn him!’

 

There wasn’t much more he could do for himself other than wait out the depression.

 

///

 

The next morning, Ludwig made his way to Matthew’s chambers to see if Feliciano was still there. His lover never came to bed last night; he woke up to an empty pillow. He figured Feliciano must still be with Matthew and fell asleep there. Upon entering, he saw that Feliciano was indeed awake. Matthew was sitting up and coughing into a cloth that Feliciano held for him. Ludwig took a glance at Feliciano, noticing the heavy lines under the eyes from lack of sleep.

 

“How is he this morning?” Ludwig asked.

 

“His fever hasn’t gone down.” Feliciano replied, wiping Matthew’s mouth once the coughing had stopped.

 

Ludwig glanced at Matthew. “Feli, perhaps you should rest.”

 

“No, I won’t leave him.” He answered, with a little more firmness in his voice than Ludwig was used to.

 

“It’s alright, Feli.” Matthew whispered. “You go and rest…I’ll be okay.”

 

“Mattie, you need me here. I will sleep beside you.”

 

Ludwig cleared his throat. “You may catch what he has.”

 

“Ludwig is right.” Matthew agreed. “Please, take a rest. Let another change my bedding today…you need some sleep.”

 

Feliciano rubbed at his eyes. He was very tired, exhausted really. Staying up all night watching Matthew was taking a toll on him. “Maybe a little bit of rest.”

 

Matthew smiled tiredly. “Good. I’ll still be here when you come back.”

 

Ludwig led Feliciano out of the room and to his own chambers where he let the other crash on the bed. “I wish you would take Matthew up on his offer to allow you to come and live with me.”

 

“I don’t want to leave him, Ludwig.” Feliciano said from the pillow. “If I leave him now, Mattie will have no one to care for him. I’m the only one he has left of his family.”

 

“But you are not his family.”

 

“Not by blood, but I live with and serve Matthew, I always have. Never has he treated me like anything but an equal and a friend.”

 

Ludwig sat on the bed, crossing his arms. “But you cannot live your life as a servant forever. I would like for you to come and live with me, together, as a couple.”

 

Feliciano lifted himself up on his forearms. “I can’t leave Matthew until I know he is safe and happy. You know as well as I do he isn’t happy with Ivan.”

 

“Yes, I know that. However, Matthew doesn’t have a choice. Ivan has not been treating him poorly at all, not since after that first time. Ivan has done more than enough to gain Matthew’s affections.”

 

“Hmm…I know. I told Matthew to try and love Ivan…but then he got upset with me. That is why he dismissed me. All is forgiven now. I know he didn’t mean it.”

 

“You are very loyal, Feli. A coward but loyal. I shall await the day when Matthew’s happiness allows you to seek your own.”

 

///

 

Matthew sighed heavily from the bed as he stared out the window at the swirling leaves. The wind had kicked up, making the old castle moan at times and the windowpanes creak. He couldn’t stop thinking about Alfred, wondering where he was, how he was doing, and if he was getting better. Matthew wished he could pull himself out of this depression in order to be more productive, but his mind and heart wouldn’t let him; no matter how hard he tried. All he wanted to do was lie in bed and sleep so he could live through his dreams.

 

He was alone now in the room with Beansie while the wind howled outside. His fire was dying and the room was growing colder with each dying ember. Hopefully someone would be in to get it ablaze once again, he hated being cold. Still, no one came. The room was just growing too cold for him to bear, so he was forced to get out of bed. Immediately more cold hit him, but luckily his fur robe was lying at the foot of the bed to wear. He let out a sigh of content as the warmth of the fur surrounded him. Standing was hard now because he was so weak. Usually Feliciano was here to steady him, but his friend had deserved a break. Beanise walked beside him, the chubby puppy tail wagging.

 

“Are you happy to see me up?” He smiled at the puppy that gave a yip in response.

 

Reaching the dying fire, he carefully picked up a thick log to throw on the embers. But he misjudged the weight of the log and in his current state lost balance. With a cry he fell to the floor, landing hard on the carpet with the log just missing his face. Beansie barked at him, licking and pawing at Matthew’s face in an urgent attempt to comfort his master. Matthew’s whole body ached, especially his wrist, which had never fully healed from the last time. The pain brought tears to his eyes yet he could not find the strength to pick himself up. He was hurting and scared. Luckily the door had opened and he turned to see whom it was that entered. It was Ivan.

 

“I-Ivan!”

 

“What happened?” Ivan hurried over to him and scooped him up from the floor.

 

“I fell trying to put a log on the fire.”

 

“Why the hell were you up and out of bed?” Ivan softly scolded, seating his lover on the bed to look him over for injuries. “Where are the servants?”

 

“None were coming and I was getting cold.”

 

Ivan would have to have a word with the servants about this. Feliciano had an excuse but the others did not. “I’ll get the fire going for you again. The night is cold and windy.” He got the fire burning strongly again. “Have you eaten yet today?” A day had passed since the doctor came to look at Matthew.

 

“I drank some of my special mixture drink and had a bit of soup.”

 

“Good. Very good.” He walked back over to the bed, having to step over the excited puppy that wanted to play. “I want you to get better, Mattie. I want you to be happy and healthy.” Ivan got on his knees before Matthew. “It’s important that you remain strong for your people.”

 

Matthew gazed at him. “I know I haven’t been at my best for you and I am sorry for it, but please, understand that I am-“

 

“Saddened over Alfred’s banishment. We all know. You did the right thing, Mattie. That is what any strong leader or king would do.”

 

Matthew began to cry. “But he is still my brother and I love him. I know he did horrible things but he is still my brother. Hit me if you wish…but I miss him very much!”

 

“I could never raise a hand to you. I say it all the time; I hate your brother and I wish him dead. He wishes the same for me. Should I bring him back here, he would find every chance to kill me. You know that.”

 

He was still crying. “I know. I don’t want any more killings! I can’t plead with either you or Alfred to not try and kill each other! Horrible mistakes have been made; revenge has been met, so why won’t the killings and hatred stop?”

 

Ivan smiled sweetly. “I wish I could think so innocently like you, Little Lamb. Things are not that simple. I could never, ever trust your brother again. I gave him my trust and he betrayed it. He let his pride rule over his sense of justice. It is shameful.”

 

“You did the same right back. Now you’re both even.”

 

“Do not hate me for all this, Mattie. I’ve told you my feelings on the matter.”

 

Matthew wiped his eyes. “Yes, I am well aware. I would love you more if you were to forgive my brother for his horrible crimes. I have already forgiven yours. This happened in response to terrible pain and horrors you had to bear. But what is done cannot be undone. But all this hate, fear, and need for revenge is the worse.”

 

“You speak of a fantasy world, Mattie.”

 

“I know.” He pulled away from Ivan. “You are my reality. A constant reminder.” He got under the covers and turned away from him.

 

Ivan felt his heart tear in two. Matthew’s short words were crisp and clear; the Little Lamb hated him. If he were to kill Matthew right now, the other wouldn’t care. That small form was turned away from him. That one little action along with those words wounded him in the worst way possible. No other wounds he experienced ever hurt this bad. Ivan thought, and hoped, that Matthew was sweet enough to love him despite his flaws and violent deeds. He was wrong. Matthew hated him. Why does everyone hate him? Only his sisters ever really loved him, and now they are both gone. Matthew is his wife, but the man did not return his love. There was no one else to love him. What a horrible feeling to know that no one wants you or loves you.

 

Slowly, he stood up from the floor. “If the sight of me is a constant reminder of your own hatred and depression, then you do not have to set eyes upon me. When you are well again, you do not have to be with me like a spouse should. We shall be two passing ships in the night. But you are still my wife and I your husband. In title only. Hopefully this will help to speed along your recovery.”

 

“So I am to be a prisoner in my own home?”

 

“If that is the way you wish to look at it. I would like it if you tried to look past your own hate and enjoy your new life. I have given you more than your father would have.”

 

“…I would like to love you, Ivan, but you make it very hard to do so.”

 

Ivan stormed out of the room.

 

Late in the evening, Ivan still had not moved from his chambers since his talk with Matthew. He feared that his anger would cause him to do something drastic. The door opened, without warning, and he was greeted to the sight of his ‘wife’ coming in on the arm of Feliciano. Ivan stared darkly at Matthew, who gazed at him with a blank expression.

 

“What is this?” Ivan asked in a low tone. “Are you suddenly well?”

 

Feliciano was the one to speak. “Um…Matthew asked me to help him here to your room. He wishes to speak to you.”

 

“I think his actions earlier spoke volumes. He does not have to be here. He should be resting in his room where illness cannot strike him.”

 

“You may leave now, Feli. Thank you.”

 

Feliciano nodded and left them, but the night was not over yet. Matthew had pleaded with him earlier to go out into the city and find Alfred. Feliciano hurried down to the stables, throwing a black cloak over his shoulders so to not be seen. He knew the stable boy well and he would be asleep amongst the goats at this time. Normally he wouldn’t do such a dangerous task, but the health and wellness of his best friend was more important than his fears. If Ivan should catch him, or if someone should see him, then no doubt he would punished. He didn’t even tell Ludwig where he was going. Matthew wanted him to beg Alfred, in his place, to come back and plead Ivan for forgiveness. Feliciano was prepared for a fight from Alfred, but he would have to try.

 

Taking one of the gentle mares, he mounted her and moved out of the stables only to be spotted by a night guard. “You there! Halt!” Feliciano started to panic. “No one is to take the horses out at this hour! Who are you?” Feliciano lifted his hood a bit to reveal his face. The guard looked surprised. “Your highnesses’ groom!” The man whispered. “What are you doing out? You should be with-“

 

“I am on official business for Lord Matthew. Please, I beg of you, tell no one that you’ve seen me.”

 

“Where are you going? It is very dangerous this late at night to go alone.”

 

“I am to find and speak to Lord Alfred.”

 

The guard took a sharp intake of breath. “Will you bring Lord Alfred back? We need him back.”

 

“I’m going to try.”

 

“ Then go! The fastest way to the city is down the left path, that is where it is the most open and the moon shines the brightest to light your way! I will tell no one, I swear it on our Gentle Matthew. Bring back the real lord so we can be whole again!”

 

Feliciano smiled and kicked the horse into a run, making for the left path into the city. There was only one hospital where Alfred would go to, and he knew right where it was. But Feliciano soon realized he was not alone. He stopped his horse when it sounded like another was coming near him. Looking around he caught sight of another rider coming towards him. Did the guard tell on him? Or did someone see him? With a squeak, he kicked the mare into run, hoping to outride the other. The other rider was gaining on him and Feliciano started to whimper. Someone was chasing him! It could be any body! It could be someone from the castle or even a thief! He took the left path, but the other followed him. The mare must have sensed his distress for she slid to a halt and reared. Feliciano was able to hold on and keep from being thrown. The other rider then appeared in front of him, blocking his horse with its own larger one. Feliciano gasped when he saw who it was.

 

“Ludwig!”

 

Ludwig glared at him, his dark form shadowed by the moon behind him. “What are you doing out here?”

 

“N-Nothing.”

 

“Do not lie to me!” He hollered. “What right do you have leaving the castle so late in the evening? You’re sneaking out! Where are you going?” Feliciano was frozen in fear, Ludwig could see it. “Tell me, right now!”

 

“I…I can’t!”

 

“Feli-“ He warned. “Tell me now! Why did you leave without telling me!”

 

Feliciano clenched his eyes shut. ‘I’m sorry, Mattie!’ “I’m going to find Alfred and speak to him in Matthew’s place!”

 

Ludwig was silent for a moment, and then asked. “What about?”

 

“Matthew was to plead with Alfred to submit and beg forgiveness with Ivan so they can be a family again. He misses Alfred dearly, and I know Alfred does not want to be away from his home. So I was heading out to the hospital to find him.”

 

“You are on a fool’s errand.” Ludwig stated. “Alfred will never submit and say he’s sorry for destroying Ivan’s life. He allowed Ivan’s castle to be sacked and his sisters violently killed.”

 

“I know all that. But I also know Alfred as well as Matthew knows him, and it was a mistake. A terrible mistake that Alfred must pay for. But he has, Ludwig! He has paid for it! Ivan has broken Alfred completely! He’ll never hold a sword again or ride a horse! Perhaps he may never be able to walk! Shouldn’t the revenge stop now?” Ludwig was still silent. “Ivan can never be happy if no one loves him. Ivan is alone in this world, the same as Matthew. Everyone will be happy once Matthew is able to show Ivan that someone loves him. Now do you see why we need Alfred back?”

 

“I still think this is foolish. However, I do know that Ivan is hurting and if we wish to tame the monster within him, he needs a gentle hand. Matthew can be that gentle hand. So I guess I will come with you on this fool’s errand.”

 

Feliciano smiled with a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank you, Ludwig! Thank you! Let’s hurry! I know the way to the hospital!”

 

He led the way and came to the city hospital. They left their horses tied outside and entered. No one was really allowed inside the hospital this late but Ludwig was an official officer of Lord Ivan, so they weren’t questioned. Feliciano asked a nurse to take them to see Alfred, and paid her a gold piece for silence. She brought them to the bed where Alfred lay sleeping, still bandaged and broken. Feliciano went up to the bed and gently shook him.

 

“Alfred? Alfred, wake up.” He spoke softly.

 

Alfred jerked awake. “What! What is it?”

 

“Sh, calm down. It’s me, Feli!”

 

Alfred looked at him with the one eye that was not bandaged. “Feli? What on earth are you doing here?” He saw Ludwig too. “And Ludwig? What’s going on?”

 

Ludwig crossed his arms. “Feliciano has something to say.”

 

“Yes. I’m here on behalf of Matthew.”

 

“He banished me.” Alfred chuckled. “But I know why he did it. Clever boy, my little brother.”

 

“Alfred, Matthew has fallen into a horrible state of depression because of your absence. Ivan is being effected as well. The only way Matthew will be happy again is when you come back, and he wants you too. But there is one thing you must do, and that is swear your allegiance to Ivan, beg for forgiveness, and accept your brother as the heir of Ram Hill Hall.”

 

Alfred’s lips slowly lifted to a smirk. “I’m the true heir.”

 

“Not any more.” Ludwig spoke. “Ivan invaded your castle and took it over. You were defeated. For your crimes against Ivan’s family, he took his revenge, and look at you now. You will never heal properly and never will you see knighthood.” Alfred’s one eye narrowed. “Everyone loves your brother more than you. I know what your plans are, too. You will stay here, get well, and slowly raise an army to win back your castle. Yet how can you do so when everyone loves your brother and you can barely stand? You can’t hold a sword, you can’t ride a horse, you can’t defend your home.”

 

“But I can rule.” Alfred countered.

 

“Alongside your brother.” Ludwig pointed out. “So what will it be? Will you submit yourself to Ivan and help your brother? Or will you lie here in bed like a broken toy?”

 

Alfred glared at him. Everything Ludwig said was true; he would never be the same again. Ivan got his revenge, and he did a damn good job at it. He did want to go home and be with Mattie. He missed his little brother. But could he humble himself to Ivan? Perhaps he should see the situation first before he made a decision. He turned to Feliciano.

 

“Fine. Take me back to the castle.”

 

End Chapter 7 TBC

 

***There is only one more chapter left to go!

 


	8. Chapter 8: Final

***Thanks to everyone who helped to make this story a success! We've reached the end now. Glad so many of you have enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!

***Warnings: Language

***Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I am making no money off of this fic.

Chapter 8: Final

Ivan stared at the small, hollow figure in a simple sheer nightshirt standing by the fire. He couldn’t help but let his eyes wander along the shadowed form, gazing at the thin and narrow body through the nightshirt. It appeared Matthew was wasting away, and if he continued on like this he would surely perish from this life. If that happened, then Ivan would be all alone. There would be no family for him to share his life with. Matthew was his only family now- by marriage- but still a member. 

He cleared his throat to get Matthew’s attention. “Are you here to wish for your brother back?”

Matthew glanced over his shoulder at him. “I might be.”

Ivan looked away from him. “I know the only way to make you better is to have Alfred back here at court where he has every opportunity to kill me.”

Matthew glanced over at Ivan’s desk, seeing a dagger posed on a stand. He slowly made his way over to it, pretending to look at the items in Ivan’s room as he did. “What makes you think I will allow him to kill you?”

Ivan glared at the door ahead of him. “I have destroyed your life as your brother has destroyed mine.”

“And you’ve done a fine job of it.” He kept his eyes focused on the dagger. “Alfred has learned his lesson. You have damaged him greatly…he poses little threat to you now.”

“It’s not him I worry about; it’s those who will conspire with him against me. He can have others do his dirty work for him.” 

Silently, Matthew picked up the dagger and marveled at the blade. “That is not Alfred’s style. You are being foolish, husband.”

“And you are being too lenient, wife. Alfred may have you tricked with that smile of his but he is a rotten scoundrel who got what he deserved.” 

Matthew held the dagger behind his back as he started over to Ivan’s chair. “Yes, but he is no longer heir to Ram Hill Hall. I am the Lord and Master here, not him. You and I, we rule together. We don’t need Alfred to rule, but I do want my brother here with me.” His eyes narrowed as he approached the back of the chair. He could only see Ivan’s elbows as they lay on the armrests. His heart was pounding and his hand was shaking. One slice…or one stab. That’s all it would take. Just one…

“But I will have to live in suspicious of Alfred’s inevitable treachery. That’s all well for you, but it does not work out for me.” Ivan never flinched when the familiar feel of a cold blade pressed against the center of his neck. He couldn’t help but smile at Matthew’s boldness. The Little Lamb had come up from behind, planning to slit his throat. It was cute. “What are you doing, Matthew?” He asked softly.

“I can never be happy living the way I am now.” Matthew answered, his voice cracking with threatening sobs. “You will never allow Alfred back in to my life! I cannot go on living like this, so you…must die!”

Ivan chuckled a bit. “So, the Little Lamb has grown some horns, yes? And your balls have dropped. Congratulations. But please, if you are going to kill me then at least let me see you do it?” The blade pressed harder against his skin, yet he still was not bothered by it. “Matthew, my love, please come around the front? I promise I won’t move.” He could feel the dagger trembling against his skin. Matthew didn’t have the nerve to do it. “If you are able to even knick me then I will bring Alfred back here to live. Fail, and you will never see him again.”

‘Just do it, Matthew! Show the world that you are not a little lamb! Show them that you are RAM!’ He gripped the dagger tightly. ‘One knick…that’s all. Just one!’

“I’m waiting.”

‘How dare you mock me!’ Matthew gulped, narrowing his eyes. ‘Come on, Matthew! Be brave! Be brave for Alfred!’

But he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bring himself to harm another human being, no matter how cruel. Defeated, he let the dagger fall from his grasp to land in Ivan’s lap. Falling to his knees, he brought his hands to his face and cried silent tears. “I can’t do it! I just can’t!”

Ivan stood up and walked around the chair to kneel with him. “You are not a monster like myself or Alfred. I never, ever, want to see you holding a weapon in these hands.” He took Matthew’s thin hands away from his face. “Hold nothing but flowers and small animals in these hands.” He put the hands to his face. “Hold me with these hands. I want to be loved, Mattie. I want you to love me. I have no family left. I want us to be a family.”

Matthew couldn’t stop the tears from falling. “I cannot live this way! I miss Alfred dearly! I want him back here with me. If you really want me to love you and treat you as family, then you must bring Alfred back, for he is my family too. You are married to me, and that makes him your brother-in-law. You will have family then, no matter how cruel.”

Ivan nuzzled Matthew’s hand. “Your brother will want to kill me.”

“I won’t let him kill you. Once he knows that I love you, he will never raise a weapon to you ever again. He will do it for me.”

“Alfred conducts his own plans-“

“He is not the lord here; we are. Alfred has lost support of our kingdom and they all cheer my name. That much I know. They want me on the throne here, not Alfred. But he is still my big brother, my family. I know he has hurt you- but you got your revenge. So please, bring him back to me! Show me you are kind, forgiving, and merciful! Do those three things, and I know I will fall in love with you!” And he meant it.

“You want me to welcome the man who murdered my sisters and destroyed everything of mine?”

“Alfred must live with his guilt and sins. So long as I am here, then no harm will ever come to you.”

Ivan searched the crying violet eyes for any hint of dishonesty yet found none. He gave a heavy sigh. Losing Matthew would be his greatest sadness. “Alright. I will see to it that your brother returns.”

Matthew threw his arms around Ivan and thanked him between kisses. So long as Ivan kept his promise then he would keep his own.

A few days later…

Matthew sat beside Ivan, his hand on top of the others’, as they awaited the formal arrival of Alfred. He was up and out of bed feeling better than ever. Feliciano was to his side, just as eager and excited as he was. Ludwig was to Ivan’s other side, looking serious and stern. Matthew could tell that Ivan was stiff and anxious about seeing Alfred again. There was no hiding his unhappiness. But Matthew was certain that after today, Ivan’s anger for Alfred would subside, at least a little bit. He had spoke with Alfred prior to this day, and threatened to have him hanged, yes, HANGED, if he were to try and insult Ivan. Matthew loved his brother dearly but the man could be as stubborn as a jackass and would ruin everything he had worked so hard for. 

“Alfred F. Jones-Williams approaches!” Cried a guard while two others opened the heavy wooden doors.

In hobbled Alfred with a cane to support his weight while his ankles were still healing. They hurt terribly when he walked but he was not ready to show any amount of weakness in front of Ivan. Since coming back he had been cleaned up. He now wore an eye patch and multiple bandages around his wrists. Ivan had destroyed his body, marking it forever with ugly scars and damaging his tendons. The physician told him they may heal over time and perhaps he can hold a sword again but to not get his hopes up. And to make matters worse, Alfred knew he could not survive on his own being maimed like this. No one would want to follow a broken man. Still, he had his pride and a plan of his own, which would come later in the future when he was back to normal, or at least knew how to properly handle his new self. 

So now to humble himself before the enemy. He struggled to kneel but refused help, managing to do it on his own. What he was about to say was not true to him, not really. He would have to pretend for many years to come. “My Lord Ivan…my dear brother…my lords.” He bowed his head.

Matthew smiled. Ivan frowned. 

“As everyone knows I have committed a horrible sin. Because of my pride and vanity innocent people had to die at my hands. I was only following the orders of my Father, as I had been raised and trained to do. But now I know,” he looked at Ivan. “Now I know I should have acted on my own free will than that of my Father’s. Nothing I say or do can ever earn your…forgiveness-“ he almost didn’t get the word out. “But I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you in whatever ways I can.” ‘By jabbing a knife through your heart.’ He added to himself. 

Matthew clapped his hands, encouraging everyone else to so as well; all except Ivan. He ceased the clapping and rose from his chair. Matthew looked at his husband standing there, fearing what he may say or do.

Ivan knew what to say in response to Alfred’s words. He wasn’t fooled. “Alfred, you acknowledge your horrid deeds and beg my forgiveness. While it is not in my nature or in my soul to forgive you on my own, I am pleased to state that your little brother, my wife, will help me to try.” He spoke louder then. “While I do not believe a word that comes from this man’s lips, I do trust in the will and judgment of my wife.” He held out his hand to Matthew who took it and stood beside him. “Alfred Jones, you are permitted to live in this castle as just a man; a brother to the ‘queen’ of Ram Hill Hall. You will have no official titles until you have proven yourself worthy of my home and court. You are dismissed.”

Matthew turned to Ivan and leaned up to whisper. “I’m very proud of you, Ivan. Thank you.”

“I only hope I will not regret this day.”

“You won’t. I promise.”

///

Later in the evening, Alfred was awoken from his bed by someone entering his small room. He lifted his head to see that it was Matthew with a lantern. “Mattie? What are you doing here?”

Matthew, with tears in his eyes, placed the lantern on the floor and ran to hug his brother. “Oh Alfred, I’ve missed you so much! I’m so glad to have you back!”

“Mattie…I’ve missed you too. Has he done anything terrible to you?”

“No, none at all.” He pulled away. “I want you to know how happy I am that you swallowed your pride and rejoined us here at home.” He smiled at his brother.

“Mattie, I hope you don’t expect Ivan and me to become friends, do you? It will never happen. I hope you understand that?”

Matthew closed his eyes with a smile and nodded. “I understand. All I want is you here in my life. After all, you are the only family I have left of my bloodline.”

Alfred chuckled. “You’re liking this ‘Lord Matthew’ stuff huh?”

“Everyone calls me ‘Gentle Matthew’.” He said proudly. “I am the angel side to Ivan’s demon one.”

“Ivan.” He hissed. “The man’s very name makes me seethe with rage.”

Matthew narrowed his eyes. “Now stop that! You did sit by and watch his sisters get raped and killed. You did torture him in jail. The gods saw fit to punish you by having Ivan seek his revenge. Can’t we put this all in the past?”

Alfred shook his head. “You may forgive him but I never will. I’m doing this for you, Mattie. All of this has been for you. I’m tolerating this for your sake.”

“I know. You don’t have to keep telling me. But I will warn you, brother, just this once. I made a promise to Ivan, and I intend to keep that promise. I know I can love him. And when I do fall in love with him, I don’t want you doing anything to harm him. We will have peace at Ram Hill Hall.”

Alfred’s brows raised a bit. “Okay then. You’re the boss.”

Matthew smiled. “I am the lord now. In fact, I’m sort of the big brother now! OW!” Alfred flicked his nose.

“Hardly. You’re still ‘Pee-Pee Pants Mattie’, the boy afraid of his own shadow! Just what proof do you have that you’re stronger than me?”

Matthew’s face turned serious. “I sleep with Ivan.”

Alfred smirked. “You win.”

Matthew hugged him again. “I’m glad to have you back, Alfie. I know everything will work out.

///

Spring Festival, One Year Later…

The welcoming of spring was always a lively time at Ram Hill Hall. The festival had been set up in the biggest field on the castle’s land, full of venders, entertainers, games, and of course, the nobility. Young maidens were dancing around the May Pole with ribbons of different shades while jugglers and magicians performed acts of magic. The announcement of the Ram Hill Lords was made with fanfare as Ivan and Matthew entered the festival grounds. Matthew was dressed in a long pale pink tunic with white pants and slippers, a symbol of the Spirit of Spring. Upon his head was a crown of different colored flowers holding a white veil in place. The sheer material flowed elegantly behind him as he walked, smiling at his subjects. 

Ivan wore all white except for his pants, which were brown. Spring wasn’t his favorite season and already the weather was getting warm. If he dressed in too many layers he’d melt. But if he wore small clothing like Matthew to stay cool then everyone would see his… ‘plumpness’. It didn’t really matter to him when he was in private with Matthew, though. Matthew loved him all the same. While he tried to smile and wave to his subjects, Beansie, now an adult dog, nearly tripped him by circling around his feet. The dog was lucky he belonged to Matthew or Ivan would have gotten rid of him.

Feliciano stood with Ludwig as the two were nearing them. Feliciano leaned up to whisper to Ludwig. “Isn’t it amazing? Do you see Alfred carrying Raivis?”

“I do. I guess Matthew has won one over on Ivan again.” Ludwig answered.

“And you should be ashamed of yourself!” Feliciano teasingly scolded him. “You knew all about her secret pregnancy and told no one.”

Ludwig cleared his throat. “Ivan’s elder sister was away on ‘vacation’ at the summer castle. I knew nothing of the sort. But now Ivan is happy to have an heir to Ram Hill Hall. Raivis is still a toddler, but he will grow up well with Matthew as his adopted mother figure. Silence now, they approach.”

Matthew bowed to them both but focused on Feliciano first. “Welcome back, Feli, or should I say, Lord Feliciano?” A few months ago Ludwig and Feliciano had gotten married, which left Matthew without a groom. It was a small price to pay for Feliciano’s happiness. They kissed on both cheeks. 

“Veh~! I’m so happy to see you looking so well, Mattie!”

Matthew turned to Ivan. “Would you excuse us a moment?”

Ivan smiled. “Of course.”

Matthew linked arms with his friend as they strolled the fair grounds. “How was your honeymoon?” 

Feliciano gave a dreamy sigh. “Oh, it was gorgeous! There was so much food! And good food too! I stuffed myself fat each night! And the girls? Woo!”

Matthew couldn’t help but laugh. “Did Ludwig let you chase the girls?”

“No, but I would sneak a peek when I could. And the ocean was beautiful. Oh Mattie, you have to make Ivan take you some day! I know you’ll love it!”

“I will.” He pat Feliciano’s hand. “How is married life?”

“Splendid. I couldn’t be happier. And yours? I’ve been away for so long.”

Matthew smiled, waving off a free sample of food. “I’m doing well. Ivan is showing his sweet and gentle side. And now that we have Raivis in our lives things have become…well…different between us. We’re seeing each other on a whole different level. I must say, I quite like it. I’m enjoying my married life with Ivan.”

“Veh~ I’m happy for you, Mattie. I see Alfred is doing well for himself?”

“He’s still Alfred, but at least the two of them are learning to tolerate each other, even if it is just in my presence.”

“Better than them fighting, right?”

Matthew smiled. “Much better.”

The music from the band changed to a more upbeat tune and Feliciano squealed. “I love this song! Matthew, will you dance with me? Ludwig isn’t very fond of dancing.”

“Of course not! Let’s join the circle!” Matthew pulled his friend into the circle of dancers, joining hands to dance along with the tune. This is what he wanted; peace and happiness. He had to go through some hardships and horrors to achieve it, but everything he endured was worth the wait. 

Ivan walked by himself, arms crossed, and watched Matthew come alive in the circle. He smiled at the beauty of the gentle man who’s spirit and will was stronger than any other. Ivan was pleased to see him so happy and healthy. Matthew was true to his word when he said that he would fall in love. Ivan was very well aware of Matthew’s true and honest feelings for him.

But his happiness was cut short by Alfred coming to walk beside him. “I curse the day your ankles healed.”

Alfred scoffed. “I’m like a lizard’s tail, I keep coming back.”

Both men smiled at Matthew when their eyes met, pretending to be happy.

“Where is Raivis?” Ivan asked.

“I handed him over to the nursemaid. I wanted to speak with you, and what better day than to speak than in the season of new life and new beginnings?” 

Ivan frowned. “What do you possibly have to say to me that warrants me caring?” 

“Pompous jackass.” Alfred sneered. “I do all this for Mattie. He wants me to be truthful, so…I will tell you the truth.”

“Truth? About what?”

“About our father. You see, Father went mad after our mother died giving birth to Matthew. He was always angry, always crazy. I had a harsh upbringing because of it. But the worst of it was when I had to protect Matthew from him. You’ve probably never seen that old painting of our mother, but she looks exactly like Matthew does now. He always had. Sometimes Father…would mistake him for Mother. I was lucky to have been there each time to stop it.”

Ivan narrowed his brows. “I knew none of this. Does Matthew know?”

“Nope. I’ve kept it from him all these years. You are his husband so I guess you should know the truth. I know you won’t believe me, but I am honestly sorry for what happened to your sisters. I should have stopped the men from what they did. I should have never gone through with it. I was only following orders- the orders of a madman who wanted to fuck his own son. You mustn’t ever tell him.”

Ivan scoffed lightly. “And here I thought you were the ‘bearer of incest’.” 

“You really think I’d sleep with my own brother? Don’t be stupid. I only remained silent that time because the other options you gave me promised physical pain- which I had had enough of.”

“And what about my feelings? Remember how you played with them? Remember how you played on my insecurities and broke my heart?”

Alfred glanced away. “I’m not proud of that either. But come on, Ivan, I laid down enough hints for you to know how I REALLY felt. You wanted to push our friendship into something more. I wanted to be friends- you wanted to be lovers.”

“Hmph. Forgive me for thinking someone actually liked me that wasn’t family.”

“I still don’t like you. Matthew is the only thing keeping you and I from killing each other. One day, when our beloved Matthew is gone…you may have to follow shortly.” Alfred flashed a dark smirk. “Of a broken heart, of course.”

Ivan returned the smirk, only his was darker. “You meant to say of a ‘bloody heart’, I am sure of it. Who says you’ll live longer than Matthew? Accidents do happen, you know.”

“Yes, and there can only be one culprit, and sure as heck won’t be me.”

“Be thankful you have another eye. Take good care of it.” He smiled and waved at Matthew while saying “You never know when my dinner knife might just…slip.”

Alfred waved at Matthew as well. “Someone should keep an eye on your food taster. Just sayin’…” 

“Leather straps break easily from saddles and frighten horses, did you know that? You may get bucked off if the horse is spooked. Wouldn’t want you to…break your neck? Oopsie.”

Alfred smiled at a passing noblewoman. “It’s a long way down the south tower steps. Always be mindful.”

They had to cut their banter short when Matthew came towards them.

“Did you have fun dancing, my Little Lamb?”

Matthew kissed Ivan on the cheek. “I did! This is a wonderful day! Are you two getting along?”

Alfred slipped his arm around Ivan. “Sure thing! We have our differences-“

Ivan smiled and slipped his arm around Alfred’s shoulders as well. “-but they are manageable.”

Matthew was so happy he could cry. “Thank you both so much!” He hugged them both. “Thank you for everything! Oh! I smell raspberry tarts! I’ll see you guys around!”

They quickly removed their arms once Matthew was out of sight. 

“I hate you.” Ivan said.

“I hate you too.” Alfred replied. 

They silently cursed one another. 

The Spring Festival had ended and now Ram Hill Hall was hosting an evening masked ball complete with a feast. Matthew wore his same outfit only he had on a white mask dotted with small rosebuds and a great plume. Ivan chose to wear a simple eye mask, all black, with no design. They sat side by side while the people danced and ate. 

“Ivan? I’m truly happy this night.”

“I am too. Thank you for keeping your promise to me, Mattie.” He took Matthew’s hand.

“Thank you for doing the same.” He laced their fingers together and blushed softly. “Will you come to my chambers tonight?”

Ivan smiled. “But of course! I can’t let that lower little rosebud go untouched on this warm spring evening. These past few months you have been very wanton.”

Matthew bat his lashes through the mask. “You have shown a whole other side of your self that I have fallen in love with. That beast in you is still there, but I’ve managed to tame it, with your help. You have given me a child to raise, a warm home to live in, and people who love me.”

“And in return, you have given me love and family.” He brought Matthew’s hand up to kiss the knuckles. “I want us to grow old together.”

“We will. I’m not going to leave your side any time soon, Ivan. You can count on it.”

“I don’t say these words often, but Mattie? I love you.”

Matthew’s eyes welled with happy tears. “I love you too. I look forward to falling in love with you more and more each day.”

“Forgive me all my evils?”

“I already have. It’s in the past. Never look back. We must always look forward.”

“Agreed.”

Matthew held up his fan to hide their ‘true loves’ kiss from the crowd. After all, it was a kiss well deserved. 

The End


End file.
